A request for your opinions on this rough draft.

by gjabiz
10 replies
I AM seeking opinions on this rough draft. Your time and attention is much appreciated. It is a new product I'm about to "unleash" (I never launch, I try to keep my feet on the ground).

May be a WSO, probably won't, but it could be. There is no order button, or guarantee on this copy. It is a rough draft. Again, your opinions are appreciated.

7 Steps to Information Product Profits


gjabiz

PS. NO the pic is not fuzzy, I look like that. HA!
#draft #opinions #request #rough
  • Profile picture of the author wvcopywriter
    I have saved this link so I can go over your sales page tonight. Will give you my opinion soon. So far what I've seen is good.

    Leaving soon for church, so I will be sure and get back with you soon.
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    Don't have the time to write emails that will get opened, read and your reader to take action then leave me a message. I will get back to you within 48 hrs.

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    • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
      Thanks,

      gjabiz


      Originally Posted by wvcopywriter View Post

      I have saved this link so I can go over your sales page tonight. Will give you my opinion soon. So far what I've seen is good.

      Leaving soon for church, so I will be sure and get back with you soon.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2769138].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author J. Barry Mandel
    Hi gjabiz,

    I did not read through the copy past the headline but I can tell you that the formatting can be vastly improved including adding at least one johnson box to make your page more eyeball friendly and effective.


    Best of Luck,

    Justin
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    • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
      Hi Gordon,

      1. Conceptually speaking, there are two main parts to your piece: 1) Selling yourself. 2) And selling these ten different ways.

      a. I think you should consider spending a lot less time comparatively selling the ten different ways, and spend more time selling yourself.

      b. Even more--I think you should spend even more time selling the report.

      2. There was a WF thread where there was a frustrated article writer recently who couldn't seem to make more than $3/article - $30/a day. A lot of ideas were offered. There may be some phrasing there that's useful to you.

      3. I think you're undervaluing yourself as a writer and information product creator when you offer something like this for just $29.

      You could try raising the price to $97. Then offering to postpone the bulk of the payment until after they've implemented a few of the ideas and made some money with them. People would appreciate your open and good heartedness, your generosity and good faith. And value the report more.

      Good luck,

      - Rick Duris
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      • Profile picture of the author Hugh Thyer
        Hey Graham,

        Sounds like a great product for the right market.

        But IMHO the head line didn't roll off the tongue, and it lacks credibility up front.

        Why not write more about the benefits of knowing what you do. You say you earn $5k a month for 5 hours work a week. That's the story you should be telling. How did you get that job. How easy was it to find?

        Admittedly, I'm not sure of your strategy, but have you considered a landing page offering the 10 ways as a free report? You can sell them more plus get their contact details, and keep pitching to them via email.

        Hugh
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        Ever wondered how copywriters work with their clients? I've answered that very question in detail-> www.salescomefirst.com
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        • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
          Thanks for giving me some good ideas. Your feedback is appreciated and I'll give it a serious ponder.

          gjabiz

          Originally Posted by Hugh Thyer View Post

          Hey Graham,

          Sounds like a great product for the right market.

          But IMHO the head line didn't roll off the tongue, and it lacks credibility up front.

          Why not write more about the benefits of knowing what you do. You say you earn $5k a month for 5 hours work a week. That's the story you should be telling. How did you get that job. How easy was it to find?

          Admittedly, I'm not sure of your strategy, but have you considered a landing page offering the 10 ways as a free report? You can sell them more plus get their contact details, and keep pitching to them via email.

          Hugh
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      • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
        Thanks Rick for taking the time to look. Great suggestions and I'll take a look at the thread you recommended.

        Your feedback is especially appreciated. Thanks.

        Gordon

        Originally Posted by RickDuris View Post

        Hi Gordon,

        1. Conceptually speaking, There are two main parts to your piece: 1) Selling yourself. 2) And selling these ten different ways.

        a. I think you should consider spending a lot less time comparatively selling the ten different ways, and spend more time selling yourself.

        b. Even more--I think you should spend even more time selling the report.

        2. There was a WF thread where was a frustrated article writer recently who couldn't seem to make more than $3/article - $30/a day. A lot of ideas were offered. There may be some phrasing there that's useful to you.

        3. I think you're undervaluing yourself as a writer and information product creator when you offer something like this for just $29.

        You could try raising the price to $97. Then offering to postpone the bulk of the payment until after they've implemented a few of the ideas and made some money with them.

        Good luck,

        - Rick Duris
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2769151].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author gjabiz
      Justin, I appreciate your time, thanks for looking.

      gjabiz


      Originally Posted by Justin Mandel View Post

      Hi gjabiz,

      I did not read through the copy past the headline but I can tell you that the formatting can be vastly improved including adding at least one johnson box to make your page more eyeball friendly and effective.


      Best of Luck,

      Justin
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2769142].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author wvcopywriter
    I like the your writing style, but I believe you are putting to much information about yourself. You want to focus on your prospects need.

    Bring out more ways this will benefit your readers. Try and make the product transparent. They know it their but they just mainly see what it will do for them.
    Signature

    Don't have the time to write emails that will get opened, read and your reader to take action then leave me a message. I will get back to you within 48 hrs.

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  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Gordon,

    I like how the 10 ways are presented, sort of like a smorgasbord. A writer can read through each one and surely find one or more that interests him. And except for #6, each one has a really good benefit either stated or implied.

    (If you bolded or highlighted the benefit in each of the 10 sections, that would help.)

    However, I'm not sure the headline will grab writers by the eyeballs. They've no doubt seen numerous headlines like it before. If you switched the headline and the sub-head, or combined them in some way, it would be better. After all, who can resist a numbered list?

    Alex
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