Opinions Please On My Product Sales Page - Many Thanks

8 replies
Hey All

I launched my own Clickbank product around 4 months ago and I've been tinkering with the sales page ever since. I think it's now pretty good but would really appreciate some opinions about it, especially from a copywriting aspect but also any general comments for improving it.

I've made a few sales at various times throughout the last 4 months but obviously want to make a lot more!!

Many thanks

A.S.A.Piano! | Easy To Learn Songs For Beginners To Piano
#opinions #page #product #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Paul Hooper-Kelly
    Hi Shayman,

    The headline isn't that bad, because it gives both a curiosity provoking benefit and a time scale. But you could improve it by removing the lead in phrase 'You Are About To' and start with 'Discover How ...

    That starting phrase has been proven in split testing to help response (even better than merely 'How To').

    Your biggest mistake is putting a squeeze page before you've even told your full story.

    The sales letter should be a greased chute from an eye-catching headline all the way down to the buy button - only pausing to answer every conceivable objection. So, when the prospect gets to the buy button, it suddenly makes complete sense to buy.

    But we all hate making decisions - particularly when they involve spending money. So, if you give them a painless option of signing up for your list, they will take that as a substitute for the real action you want them to take (buying your product).

    So, if you do nothing else, I suggest you put the squeeze page on an EXIT pop up. That way, you get a good shot at selling them right off the bat.

    Then - and only then - when they click off your page, they get your squeeze page offer, so you can follow them up with more compelling reasons to buy.

    There's plenty more, but that's a start.

    Warmest regards,

    Paul
    Signature
    If you want to stack the copywriting deck in your favor with tricks and hacks producing winners like: "$20K in three days" "650 sold" "30% conversion", then you might like to know I'm retiring and will spill the beans to two people. More info here.
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  • Profile picture of the author shayman
    Hi Paul
    I really appreciate you taking the trouble for a really useful reply. It's interesting because I don't seem to have much trouble getting people to sign up for the squeeze page offer but I have to be honest and say that I'm disappointed with the number of sales so far, mainly because I honestly believe that the product is excellent, good value (especially with Samantha, the tutor, at hand to answer questions on the forum) and from what I can tell the feedback from customers is very positive.

    So your idea that I may be going about promoting the offer too soon certainly holds up to that!
    I also take your point with regards to the features vs benefits headline too so I can easily address that too.

    What I'll do is leave the page up as is for a few days so that I can hopefully gain some more feedback from people and then make the necessary changes, but again I really appreciate your help.

    Shayman
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  • Profile picture of the author Eduardo2
    I think Pauls advice is good, but in concern to the removal of the opt-in to an exit pop-up (which by itself is preety smart) i do not think you should remove it if it converts.

    Basically if you ALREADY convert visitors on a high rate to your Opt-in from visitors, then I think you should just keep it as it is.
    converting a list on the long run is easier to do then a visitor to the sales page.
    put your effort on improving the rest of the copy for higher conversion rate.

    Hope this helps
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  • Profile picture of the author shayman
    OMG Eduardo! Now you have got me thinking!! It can be such a fine line can't it? I also get your point too. Maybe my follow up letters aren't cutting it then either. I know I'm asking 'A LOT' here but can I also just post up a follow up letter and ask for some more feedback.

    The first one has a 96% opening rate and 112% click through rate, which I suppose is to be expected because people actually want the bonus video tutorial.

    The second one concerns me BIG time, because it only has a 26% opening rate and a measly 5% click through. It reads:

    Title: {!firstname} Do You Feel Inspired To Learn?

    Body:
    Hey {!firstname}

    Are you feeling inspired to learn some classic, popular songs today? Perhaps by tomorrow you'd like to be able to play a classic like Candle In The Wind by Elton John or something upbeat and lively like Hound Dog complete with a cool Glissando to start it off!

    Well you can learn how to play both these songs plus 12 others all in detail using video, audio and printable song sheets, plus if you get stuck I'll be waiting to help you out with priceless tips on the exclusive A.S.A.Piano learning forum.

    I received a really nice email just yesterday from someone looking for ways to teach her child how to start off playing piano. When she found A.S.A.Piano she said this:

    'Great product, actually makes 'me' want to learn piano'

    ...and she was only looking learning resources for her young son

    I hope that is what comes across with A.S.A.Piano. Yes it's fun, yes it's inspirational but it is also a serious resource that you will be able to use for the rest of your playing days, because the forum is something that you will always be able to come back to and find useful information, motivation and inspiration, and you will always remain a member of it.

    You can try A.S.A.Piano for a full 60 days and you are guaranteed to get all your money back if it falls short of your expectations or my promise to you.

    I genuinely enjoy teaching people to play and would love to be given the opportunity to share my knowledge with you.

    That I can also guarantee, not just for 60 days but for as long as YOU want to learn!

    Looking forward to hearing from you.

    Samantha
    samantha@asapiano.com

    http://www.asapiano.com
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Hooper-Kelly
      Hi Shayman,

      Glad my comments were a help. And your comment ...

      I don't seem to have much trouble getting people to sign up for the squeeze page offer but I have to be honest and say that I'm disappointed with the number of sales so far,
      ... rather proves what I was saying, because you are giving them a soft option.

      But, if you switched the squeeze page to an exit pop-up, you wouldn't lose any of the sign ups - except some of them might sign up via your BUYER list.

      Wow!

      Paul
      Signature
      If you want to stack the copywriting deck in your favor with tricks and hacks producing winners like: "$20K in three days" "650 sold" "30% conversion", then you might like to know I'm retiring and will spill the beans to two people. More info here.
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  • Profile picture of the author shayman
    I like your suggestions Paul. They makes sense to me...mind you, so did my previous sales page but I have made the changes outlined so I'll report back.Hopefully this will help others too
    I can always make more tweaks or revert back to the original should it not work out!

    Regards
    Shayman
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  • Profile picture of the author Aira Bongco
    Hi Shayman,

    I think a problem here is the flow. I stopped after you told your story and scrolled down but I am not completely convinced that I should buy even if I am in the music field.

    I think an improvement you can do here is to integrate the story with the whole salespage. Start with a story but do not end it with the signature right away. Continue with the story as you address all barriers to buying.

    The questions I can see here is why should they buy from you? How could you help them more than the other products out there? How easy is it to buy from you? Emphasizing those points will help you.

    Here is how I will edit some parts of your salespage

    Start with Anticipation:
    In the Next 7 Weeks, You Could Be Playing Twelve New Classic Songs on Piano By Ear
    Play These Songs Right Now Even If You Are a Complete Beginner
    [List the songs]

    Dear ___,

    [insert story]

    Here are some sub-headlines that can counter the arguments your potential customers are having in their heads:

    Learn How To Play The Piano Without Leaving Your House or Hiring a Piano Teacher
    This is so Easy You Can Learn it Even if You Have Never Read Any Musical Score
    Why Slave Away Learning These Songs By Note When You Can Play Them Right Now?

    These are just some of them. Of course, there are other aspects that can be improved. But this is the best I can do for a forum post.

    Best of luck,

    Aira
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  • Profile picture of the author shayman
    This is all great help folks. It hadn't crossed my mind about the signature either and I can see that it kind of ends the flow rather enhances it. I like your spins on the headlines very much too Aira.
    Clearly I have work to do!
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