Please critique my sales page

5 replies

This is my first sales page, please critique and give me suggestions on how to make it better.

Backlinks Parser | Niche Dog

Thanks in advance!
#critique #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
    1. First, I think the copy is pretty good. Sure it could be better, it's a good start.

    2. It's your overall formatting that has me concerned. Too distracting. Just too many ways to bail. Plus the graphics overall does not do the product just.

    3. A video would make this really compelling.

    4. I'd reconsider renaming the product. "Backlinks Parser" just isn't very compelling or intriguing.

    - Rick Duris
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    • Profile picture of the author Stephen Dean
      Hi Syndicate Marketer,

      I've got a question for you, but first let me start with what's great. Because everyone needs these crucial components of copy...

      You have a useful benefit right up front. Nice job.

      You have proof and testimonials. Those are important.

      You have scarcity (only 99 sold) and a 60-day guarantee. Good.

      My question applies to anyone writing copy...

      Who are you targeting?

      Right now your sales copy is great if it's targeted to a specific group of people: the SEO inclined.

      Only people who understand why backlinks are important are going to be a good fit for this sales letter. That's obvious, right?

      So if you have a marketing plan that's going to put 5000 SEO inclined visitors on your page, you should do well.

      (5000 visitors is how many you'll need to sell all 99 copies at a 2% conversion rate.)


      If You Don't, You're In Trouble

      If your marketing plan is aimed at a general audience of wide-eyed "make money from home" entrepreneurs, stay-at-home "extra income" types or even the general Internet marketing niche...

      ...your sales letter needs to take a couple steps back.

      These markets are less likely to understand the value of discovering backlinks. And so your great benefit up front is now lost on them.

      You could try to educate them in the letter, but that's tough.

      Thankfully, there is a solution.

      Get less specific on the features, get more specific on the bigger picture.

      Instead of explaining how you're going to discover backlinks, explain how your software...

      ...decodes the tiny little reasons why your competition ranks higher in the search engines.

      ...delivers thousands of tiny URLs you can use to catch up and outrank them.

      ...enables you to ethically "steal" your competitors traffic over time.

      That would be a good way to approach the general IM marketplace.

      But IF... can get those 5,000 targeted visitors to your site...

      Then Don't Listen To A Thing I Say least so far. The three bullet points above are more likely to waste time and LOSE the sale to a more sophisticated audience.

      If your audience is targeted then your copy is doing well. I only would question this subhead...

      "Who needs lists of extracted competitors backlinks?"

      If your copy truly is aimed at the SEO inclined, then they already know the answer to this question. It's not helping to make the sale and something else would be better.

      I have an idea...

      There's a tiny little tidbit hidden in your copy that would make for a better subhead:

      "extract authority .edu and .gov backlinks of your competitors"

      Now that's a good benefit for the SEO inclined that should be "blown up."

      Hope that helps.

      Stephen Dean
      Free Coaching WSO: How to finish all your 2013 "Goals" in JANUARY with my proven productivity secrets - taken from 9 years working as a freelance copywriter. Click Here

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      Matt Bacak, Jim Edwards, Ryan Deiss and more.
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      • Profile picture of the author sanjaypande
        Things that I would suggest (and recommend testing)

        1. Logo/header is too big. The first thing you want the eye to go to is the Headline.

        2. Menu bar items are distractions and potential clicks away from the message

        3. Newsletter Signup is a distraction (On another note, No Call to Action on the Newsletter subscribe. Why should I signup?)

        4. No subhead. You want a head, sub-head first sentence. Just a few ideas

        "The #1 Method to Getting Ahead of Your Competitors on the Search Engine Rankings is High-Quality Backlinks"
        "Announcing a Secret Software that Spies on Your Competitors Like a Ninja and Gives You all the Work They Have Done over the Years on a Silver Platter in a Matter of Minutes"
        "Beat Them at Their Own Game and They Will not Even Know what Hit Them"

        5. The address. Dear friend is safe, but you have a smaller and more targeted market here. Dear SEO Expert, Dear Online Marketing Wiz, Dear Future #1 Ranker etc etc.

        6. You are adding scarcity with the 99 copies (why?). Its not believable. Only 99 copies will be sold at this price is more believable.

        7. Your call to action at the end of the letter is actually pretty good and convincing. Love the red button. But, I would change order now to "Click Here to Reserve Your Copy", "Click Here to Test Drive it For 60 Days". Also add text link order below the button as a hyperlink.

        8. Shorten Your Testimonials. Pick the best portions, parts of them and convert them to headline quality. Add a headline to each testimonial and make them pop out of the copy.

        Hope this helps

        Warm Regards,


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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    Just one thing to add: make it clear what problem the product is going to solve. Otherwise, you run the risk of looking like it's a solution looking for a problem. Which obviously would make it a non-starter.

    Also, I think you're going a little too fast into the nitty-gritty details - unless you're selling to people exactly like you, you need to take it a little slower and paint the big picture first.

    Finally, the screen shots are obviously PC so if you're not offering a Mac version, I'd make that clear as a lot of internet marketers love their macs...

    Need a quick, effective copy critique to boost your conversion? 24-hr turnaround:

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  • Profile picture of the author WickedWally
    Actually looks like a decent piece of software, in terms of features...

    But... Nahhhh!

    You didn't do the work to get a proper salesletter going.

    A basic search on Google for a salesletter template would reveal some mighty templates for your use. But, again... you didn't do the work.

    And instead got the character from MAD Magazine to give you a testimonial. Sheesh. He's not real people!

    P.S.: Google this "Yanik silver 14 point salesletter pdf" that should help you more than Alfred.
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