Why Isn't My 4 min Sales Video Working? Help!

Apparently you missed the thread where video just works and is going to sweep sales letters into the dustbin of history.

First, how many of the 150 were actually fire fighter candidates ...and how many wanted to check into becoming a firefighter?

Next, it's not a "disguised" video sales letter. It's trite, obvious, and most transparently holding back information whilst giving a big, fat, sales pitch. The script seems to consist of exactly two sentences, repeated over-and-over -- search engine spam style.

Don't keyword stuff a video ...say something. And this takes four minutes to say just about nothing. If anyone did expect information upon watching this, they felt cheated by the end. If they feel cheated before they buy, what exactly do you expect them to then do?

"Why do you want to work for us" sounds like a generic scrape of every employment guide for any job ...ever. Okay, if they stop by the station and get a ride along, but you reveal nothing about what you're looking for in doing that research.

It sounds like it was written by a Craigslist flunky for five bucks who has barely ever seen the outside of a fire station. The stock photos don't help.

Nothing sounds like an inside tip. And there is zero which uses the strengths of video.

It would never enter my mind to do anything but find a list of candidate fire fighters to mail to. This is a targeted product, not a mass access video. But you can try ditching the stock photos, do live location shots. Use video to make it seem as though you've actually had some experience getting access to fire stations and personnel. Interview fire fighters, and reveal some actual information.

To sum up, the video lacks credibility. It doesn't offer anything, visually or verbally that would indicate you're an expert. Everything (not) in it screams you are an outsider and have not one little bit of insider information. One successful direct response headline is, "They gasped when I sprayed beer on my lawn. But you should see my golf-course green grass now!"

Gives away INFORMATION, right in the headline. That's how it's done. Oh, and if you insist on using video -- make a video. Don't make a "video sales letter."

A few comments:

* 150 views is nothing, especially if the wrong, untargeted traffic is coming to it. You want to be getting lightning targeted traffic from Google. Look for terms to optimize for where videos are ranking well.

* Rather than a video you put together with what appears to be minimal effort (you chose speed over quality), prout together an honest review. Introduce yourself, tell how you stumbled across the topic, why the topic is so important that they do right (the interview is "make or break") who the video is for, and deliver a few tips that the reader is looking for in a clear, transparent, and easy to understand way. Imagine you're standing in front of the viewer one-on-one and were having a conversation about how to ace the interview and get the firefighter job. Then, at the end, you may tell them where to find more information because you simply just don't have time to tell them everything they need to know.

* Yes, you can improve on the music.

Chris,

ok, got it.

If you really want to make a go of this, here's what I would do.

Interview firefighters and record the conversations. Tell them you are doing a research project on how to become a firefighter and you are interested in their experience.

This will allow you to get into their mindset. You'll understand their motivations and the challenges and learn the words they use.

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Now here's a key piece to the puzzle: The people buying your product are not firefighters yet but they want to be badly. Badly enough, they'd be willing to spend money learning how to do it.

So as a part of your promotion, you have to get them salivating about becoming a firefighter over and over--and your course is their only solution.

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Now here's the best part:

Here's what you say:

"There's a myth out there when it comes to becoming a firefighter. It holds a lot of well meaning people back from fulfilling their childhood dreams.

Many people think that the only way to become a firefighter is to have inside connections. Maybe it's a firefighter friend. Or maybe it's someone in the family who already is a firefighter.

They wrongly believe somebody has to refer you in, somebody has to mentor you and guide you through the process, lead you through challenging gauntlet of becoming a firefighter.

It's true, connections DO help.

But if you really want to be a firefighter, you don't absolutely need them. There are ways of getting that coveted firefighter offer letter and dramatically increasing your chances of being on a fire team..."



What you could do is create a video about this one single myth that holds people back. DO NOT SELL PEOPLE THE PRODUCT IN THE VIDEO. At the end of the video, just say if you'd like to learn more tips about becoming a firefighter, especially if you don't have inside connections, just go ahead and click the link below.

- Rick Duris

Hey Max,

Others here have given you good advice.

My first impression was to ask why are you using photos of people dressed in suit and tie and in an office enviornonment? That would go totally against your prospect's mental image of fire fighters. The images don't match your market.

Then the music started to put me to sleep. It is slow, dreamy, and sounds like elevator music from 20 years ago.

You have a very pleasant voice for doing the voice-over audio, now just put more enthusiasm into your delivery. It is sleepy just like the music.

Think of music videos - how are they paced? They are fast and exciting.

Now think of a Billy Mays short 2 minute TV advertisement. It too is fast paced and exciting. There is a reason for this - it grabbs attention and holds it.

You don't need music in the background throughout the video. A short, exciting music intro - 5 seconds or so - then just voice will get your message across better.

You suggest to viewers to go talk with local fire fighters before going for the interview. You need to go talk with several fire fighters, at a few different fire stations to get a better mental picture of what your viewers would like to see - what it is that will grab and hold the attention of fire fighter wanabees. Put images consistant with that into your video.

You need flames!

:-Don

Valiant Effort. I would do all I could to get it to 30 seconds