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Rate my Squeeze Page

by yankforlife41
13 replies
Just did this one up, probably needs stronger calls to action I would imagine.

Free Money Making Report
#page #rate #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Alex Cohen
    Originally Posted by yankforlife41 View Post

    Just did this one up, probably needs stronger calls to action I would imagine.

    Free Money Making Report
    On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, I'd rate it a 2.

    It's terrible.

    Alex
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  • Profile picture of the author copycashvalve
    Alex is right, you want to grab your audience by the eyeballs and demand their attention, offer them some information or proof. You need a story too, 70% of most stories are structured like this.

    -before I found the internet, I was struggling real bad with $ yada yada
    -then it got worse
    -until I learned how to ____ which was a ____ in itself
    -then the outcome was _____

    You need a story, you need it badly.

    I opted in because I can help you.
    Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author copycashvalve
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Hooper-Kelly
      Hi yankforlife,

      You've done a good deal that's right here - including simply asking for the email address (and not the name).

      But if you shifted the type to the left - and maybe used slightly smaller sizes, you'd have room to bring the web form up on the right hand side, making it visible 'above the fold', so the prospect would not have to scroll down.

      Then you could put an image of the freebie report above the jumping arrow.

      That would increase the impact and your opt-ins.

      Warmest regards,

      Paul
      Signature
      If you want to stack the copywriting deck in your favor with tricks and hacks producing winners like: "$20K in three days" "650 sold" "30% conversion", then you might like to know I'm retiring and will spill the beans to two people. More info here.
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  • Profile picture of the author WickedWally
    *cracks knuckles*... lets roll.

    Change Headline:

    OLD >> FREE! "Report on how a Twenty Year Old, makes $10,000 by doing virtually nothing. "

    NEW >> INSTANTLY DOWNLOADABLE REPORT -
    "20 Year Old College Kid Spills The Beans On How He Made $10,000.00 In 10 Days Doing Almost Nothing..."

    OLD >> That's Right -- This Report Will Show You Exactly To How To Make Money Online In 10 Days with a powerful and easy method.

    NEW >> That's Right - - This Report Reveals The Exact Step By Step Formula He Used To Siphon $10,000 From The Internet In 10 Days With A Powerful Tactic That Most People Will Never Discover.

    The rest... you're on your own.

    Resource:

    imnicheformula(dot)com/squeezeindex(dot)html

    There... copy that.
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    • Profile picture of the author jonathan8
      This is a template frank Kern gave with his List control course
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  • Profile picture of the author HotDamnShortSales
    its an optimize press template
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    • Profile picture of the author jonathan8
      Originally Posted by HotDamnShortSales View Post

      its an optimize press template
      no dude, it isn't I also use optimus squeeze page theme, its an html page
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    lol. not bad.

    I'd forget 99% the ideas given.... i've tested out all this and all the stuff you're talking about adding actually DECREASES conversions. (at least on this page)

    How do I know?

    The page is my design.

    I was in franks mastermind and let frank use it for list/mass control members and it DEFINITELY converts as is.

    I'm not giving out the url of the page for obvious reasons (dont need everyone swiping my stuff).

    I tested the living hell out of squeeze pages to the tune of thousands of dollars in traffic and this one crushes. (thats why you've seen it used for the big launches)

    Big thing: You need to remove the bullet points, you want that optin form in that first fold.
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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    • Profile picture of the author jonathan8
      Originally Posted by davemiz View Post

      lol. not bad.

      I'd forget 99% the ideas given.... i've tested out all this and all the stuff you're talking about adding actually DECREASES conversions.

      How do I know?

      The page is my design.

      I was in franks mastermind and let frank use it for list/mass control members and it DEFINITELY converts as is.

      I'm not giving out the url of the page for obvious reasons (dont need everyone swiping my stuff).

      I tested the living hell out of squeeze pages and this one crushes. (thats why you've seen it used for the big launches)

      Big thing: You need to remove the bullet points.
      nobody will swipe your stuff, its better to share, cause one day your idea will be out, and you can help people by sharing it. If you are a member of Frank's programs you may know it already.
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  • Profile picture of the author Elion Makkink
    use another title, this one is good but not good enough.
    you can check this page for creating strong titles that sell:
    9 Proven Headline Formulas That Sell Like Crazy | Copyblogger
    Signature

    Cheers,
    Elion Makkink

    Become an SEO Hustler too at seohustlers.com

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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    I think the bigger problem is you're trying to sell "make money" stuff when you obviously have no freaking idea how to do it.

    -Dan
    Signature

    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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    • Profile picture of the author GlenH
      You should check that page design in different monitor resolutions to be sure that everything stays above the fold
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