First draft - help
Looking for help on this copy written by an article writer
Hey guys, looking for feedback on this copy for home page written by my partner for our consulting business on creating success. I know it says everything about us but hardly anything about the client's needs....and is unintelligible. I need feedback to guide my partner on how can it be *improved?? :confused:
(copy)
Redesigning Success
Can science take the measure of success? And what is success? Is it a level of social status? Is it the achievement of one's goals? Is it profit, adoration, and/or distinction? The literal meaning of the word is, 'that which comes after'. *But how do we as a society wish to define success?
Defining success for the 21st century is important. At The Atman Group we suspect that the answer is not a some static bit of prose, but that defining success requires a dynamic, responsive, even poetic approach. Our collective conception of success should reflect the highest and best parts of human nature. *Our sense of success should celebrate the triumph of spirit over matter, In this way success becomes the convergence of our highest hopes.
Perhaps the word has for so long been given a squalid interpretation resulting in what William James called, "the moral flabbiness born of its worship." And if the word is much maligned (even deservedly) in modern media perhaps it is time to reclaim the word as the birthright of every living being.
So it is the goal of The Atman Group to use science and the obstinate pursuit of clear thinking to be apart of reclaiming, redefining and redesigning success.
Redesigning your success, individually and institutionally is our commitment.
We are made up of researchers, specialists, and consultants, focused on six vital aspects of redesigning success:
productivity
creativity
team development
health & wellness
stress management
employee *management
Hey guys, looking for feedback on this copy for home page written by my partner for our consulting business on creating success. I know it says everything about us but hardly anything about the client's needs....and is unintelligible. I need feedback to guide my partner on how can it be *improved?? :confused:
(copy)
Redesigning Success
Can science take the measure of success? And what is success? Is it a level of social status? Is it the achievement of one's goals? Is it profit, adoration, and/or distinction? The literal meaning of the word is, 'that which comes after'. *But how do we as a society wish to define success?
Defining success for the 21st century is important. At The Atman Group we suspect that the answer is not a some static bit of prose, but that defining success requires a dynamic, responsive, even poetic approach. Our collective conception of success should reflect the highest and best parts of human nature. *Our sense of success should celebrate the triumph of spirit over matter, In this way success becomes the convergence of our highest hopes.
Perhaps the word has for so long been given a squalid interpretation resulting in what William James called, "the moral flabbiness born of its worship." And if the word is much maligned (even deservedly) in modern media perhaps it is time to reclaim the word as the birthright of every living being.
So it is the goal of The Atman Group to use science and the obstinate pursuit of clear thinking to be apart of reclaiming, redefining and redesigning success.
Redesigning your success, individually and institutionally is our commitment.
We are made up of researchers, specialists, and consultants, focused on six vital aspects of redesigning success:
productivity
creativity
team development
health & wellness
stress management
employee *management
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