Kindly review my Squeezepage and also...

14 replies
hello everybody!

first of all I would like to thank you all! I learn alot from this forum and I think now is the time to take some action!

I created this squeeze page and need your expert reviews

7 secrets to lose weight fast

also, I would be delighted if you could give me a thorough review on my 8 email sequencies.

I never wrote an email sequence and thus I am really hoping that you expert gurus could guide me on this process

thank you
#kindly #review #squeezepage
  • Profile picture of the author stevestan
    It looks good but is missing something, i had a look at your source code and have realized that you have to many keywords, way to many, check your keywords. good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author pearlydean
    Great looking page!

    You have a typo in your keywords...weight losee...I presume you mean weight loss?

    Cheers
    Keith
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    SEO and Reputation Services

    Need SEO Advice? Happy to help just get in touch.
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  • Profile picture of the author WilliamL
    I couldn't count too much keywords, all in all 7. But there were two unrelevant, "newsletter" and "tips".
    But you will drive traffic via PPC, right? so you shouldn't care about keywords.
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas_Banks
    Hi Smitchacha! Your page looks good. If I were going to make any changes it would be these:
    1. I would assign a dollar value to your lead magnet.
    2. I would move the whole section under "This is exactly what you'll get" up to the top where your first opt in form is.
    And, of course, check your spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.

    You also may want to consider split testing a couple things. I would split test the headline replacing "report/ebook" with "Kit" and I'd do another split test replacing that with "Coaching Program". I'd test those things firs and then I'd do a split test with the opt in form placing an arrow pointing at the submit button. After that I'd test the color scheme. And after that...

    Ok, you get the point. Never stop testing. Be methodical about it. It's a lot better to convert more of the existing traffic than to drive more traffic for the same result.

    That said, it's a good page. It fulfills the basic requirements! Nice job!
    Signature

    Please do not use affiliate links in signatures

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  • Profile picture of the author smitchacha
    thank you, I made few changes

    however, what I really want to know is about the content (the actual email series) I have 7 + ebook (follow up msgs).

    I have purchaged a 7 email series about weight loss from Tiffany from PLR Minimart
    they are 400-500 words articles and I place a signature link at the end of each article

    is that good enough?

    should I write my own series, or should I stick with articles?

    pls. reply
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  • Profile picture of the author AmyKay
    I would move the optin higher on the page. Let people see it without having to scroll down. haven't seen the e-mails, but I imagine as long as the articles are decent, they are fine. Spend your time getting traffic before you spend time rewriting the content.
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  • Profile picture of the author thinkahead
    As part of a list-building excercise, PLR articles are fine as long as they are of good quality. If you don't know anything about weight loss yourself, then you can't really create original articles or ebooks on the subject without it being obvious that you know nothing about it. When I have written ebooks in the past on subject matter that I am not completely knowledgable in, I've always done a lot of research beforehand so I at least know enough to provide good and original information. However, as I said, PLR articles are fine in my opinion as long as they are good quality. Don't just offer any old nonsense as your list won't think that you are worth following in any future emails. Good luck though and, by the way, the site looks good, it's short and to the point, ticks all the boxes for me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Shannon Herod
    That is a fantastic looking page.

    But, I would do a couple things to make the conversion rate better.

    First, bring your opt in box up above everything else.

    Put more focus on the actual opt in.

    I would actually integrate the BMI calculator with the opt in form.

    That way, when someone used the BMI calculator they would have put their name and e-mail address into have the results e-mailed to them.

    That should skyrocket conversions.

    Talk soon,

    Shannon Herod
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  • Profile picture of the author Flareman
    Nice looking page. I can't help but notice the look and feel is very similar to FatBurningFurnace. Are you an affiliate for them?
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    • Profile picture of the author smitchacha
      yes I am an affiliate and I am hopping to promote their product from my list, am I doing someting wrong?

      should I just creat a list first, with a series of articles and then hard sell?

      or should I stick of what I am doing right now? build a list for this particular product, the articles have a resource box that is embed with my affiliate link.

      pls. reply
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      • Profile picture of the author virginiad
        Hi,

        One suggestion...for the BMI calculator it would be good if you allow pounds and inches as well as kilos and centimeters (or include conversion info).

        There are a lot of fat people in the US who have no idea how many kilos they weigh

        Also, the boxes where you enter the information are next to each other, but the labels are above and below, so it is kind of confusing. You want to make sure everything is chrystal clear, or people may just move on.

        I would also put an opt in box at the top so people can see it without having to scroll down.

        Hope this helps

        Virginia
        Signature

        Virginia Drew


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  • Profile picture of the author Zero
    I don't like the colour scheme. I know you're trying to keep it similiar to the report itself..but still. White font on Purple background is hard on the eyes, and using a purple font is just a big no-no imo.

    Keep it simple. Red font for headlines/sub-heads and black font for everything else.

    I'd like to see a Red font headline, maybe something very similiar to what u've written "Free Report reveals [name of the report] "

    Or is it that lose weight fast is your keyword?

    Using an orange/red "Get instant access" button would work nicely too.
    Little things can make a difference in boosting your overall opt-in rate...which is what everyone ultimately strives to do.
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  • Profile picture of the author rome9t9
    I have one suggestion which might be useful... remove the "40+ pages" thing from the top and assign a $27(37, 47, 57 anything you like) value to it...

    Reason: People are lazy these days. When you say "7 secrets", they expect it to be in 7 pages. When you tell them that its of 40-pages, they might be hesitant..even if someone downloads it, the chances of him reading it are less, due to its sheer size

    So, either you remove the term "40 Pages" to increase the conversion. Or, give them a 15-page report with awesome information which they will read.
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