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Completely Change My Offering - Please Critique My Sales Page

by fated82
5 replies
I have completely changed my sales page and would like to hear what fellow warriors got to say about my new sales page. Please give me constructive feedback on how I could improve further. Thanks!

YourPLRArticles Sales Page
#change #completely #critique #offering #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    The headline is too complicated, it needs to drill down to the end result benefit of using the product. That's all I have time for right now...
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    • Profile picture of the author chino007
      Originally Posted by sethczerepak View Post

      The headline is too complicated, it needs to drill down to the end result benefit of using the product. That's all I have time for right now...
      I'm agree.
      I see the main goal looks like earn more money, and cuting steps, so you may use something like:
      " PLR success shorcuts " it have to be specific and directed with your main benefit to your customers. Maybe some people don't know what are PLR, you have to see what your audience knows and how to talk to them and see if you can use PLR or say something diferent.
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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    The headline says nothing. And the subheading says stop buying "miracle" offers.. which is exactly what the headline offered.

    If you got something, out with it.
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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      There is no clear theme.

      This makes for a jumbled mess.

      The mess is a result of lack of clear thinking.

      And you get clear thinking by deleting stuff,
      not adding to it.

      In one sentence, tell me the gist of what you've got
      and how that connects with your prospects wants.

      Once you come up with it, you then can create images
      the reader will savor and knocking back all the fears.

      And back to the start...your central theme.

      That's the agreement you make with yourself as what it well be.

      Before you write a word.

      Once you start writing, everything will connect to it.

      That's your structure.

      It makes writing easier for you, and makes reading easier.

      All the best,
      Ewen
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      • Profile picture of the author virginiad
        Hi,

        You should proof read it.

        There are a lot of grammar, spelling and punctuation errors. Having a few errors is acceptable, but there are way too many.

        Some of them (ie the use of the word "softwares") indicate that it may have been written by someone whose first language is not English.

        I have nothing against non English-speaking copywriters (there are some who are excellent), but it has to be proofed better.

        Also, this is an extremely competitive niche. You have to have a ton of actual proof...screenshots of your Paypal account showing the massive amounts of income you are receiving using your methods. People really need to be grabbed by the income potential, because there are 100's of sites that show how to make money with PLR, and many of them are free.

        Go to Clickbank and see some of the top offers there. They virtually scream "massive income".

        You have to have a "hook". Something that is not available on any of those 100's of other sites that compels people to sign up for your site.

        If your information really is worth the money, you might consider a free 30 day trial.

        Hope this helps,

        Virginia
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        Virginia Drew


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