Copy Critique: drum.com - Million Dollar Domain!

14 replies
Last week I launched an amazing info resource for drummers on the best domain one can get from drumming: www.drum.com I thought I did a pretty good job, but I am open to your Critique!

I'd like to get some feedback from members on our sales copy for the program.
Thanks in advance for your help!

George

Here's the link to the sales copy again:
www.drum.com
#copy #critique #dollar #domain #drumcom #million
  • Profile picture of the author Vincenzo Oliva
    Dude, I don't know how you pulled that off but a PR5 squeeze page? Props to you! Nice design. I'd give you an 8 out of 10.
    Only thing missing is some type of headline "Big promise"...."Their Jaws DROPPED when I started to Play..."
    And 1 or 2 testimonials to seal the deal.
    Who did your graphics? Nice!
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    • Profile picture of the author GeorgeJoel
      Thanks for your feedback Vincenzo. I did all the graphics for the site. It still is not converting like I want it to. My goal is 500 monthly members then 1,000. I have a great traffic plan, but the conversions need to be better before I start sending the big traffic.

      George
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  • Profile picture of the author iSoftware
    do you own that domain? If so, nice property!
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  • Profile picture of the author Johnny12345
    Hi George,

    A few quick notes:

    1) The header is hard to read. It's a little too "grungy." Readability is more important than style.

    2) You don't have a proper headline. As a result, it's not completely clear what you're offering until you read some of the copy. The problem is that a lot of people will never make it that far down the page if you don't have a headline. It's a "catch-22" of sorts.

    3) Your initial video screen offers a "free" DVD, but the button reads "add to cart" and offers a money-back guarantee. If it's free, they shouldn't need a money-back guarantee. Do you see the conflict?

    In advertising, there's a saying: "Confuse 'em and you'll lose 'em." Your page is a bit confusing -- as a result, you're losing conversions.

    There are other problems, as well -- but at least you've got a great domain name.

    -John
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  • Profile picture of the author Ross James
    I wouldn't start off with "what this isn't" copy.

    I feel that it's weak, and I - the reader, wanted to know what "THIS IS" rather than what it's not.

    Just my nugget of advice, I'm sure you'll get a lot more advice here.

    P.S. Strong domain name.
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  • Profile picture of the author aduttonater
    WOW! Incredible site George.

    I especially liked the certificate money back guarantee that you offer. The grafix were amazing as well.

    I really hope it sells.
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  • Profile picture of the author ARSuarez
    Hi George,

    The site isn't terrible. Like Matt said, I've definitely seen worse.

    But I did see things to be fixed.

    Now, this is my opinion... but unless you've done A LOT of preselling, I wouldn't put the purchase button at the top. You're instantly saying, "Buy my ****... right now."

    Musicians are a very skeptical market. I know; I worked with them before. Only once you've told them your story and shown them that you're part of their world, would I put the Add to Cart button.

    Your copy is also kinda confusing. I think you need to spend some time clearing it up and making sure there is clarity.

    Also, like Johnny said... there is no headline. This, combined with the Add to Cart button at the top, makes it very confusing upon arriving.

    "433 Spots available and a Free DVD? For what? What's going on?"

    You don't want your prospect to say that when they hit the page.

    You have a continuity program: that's smart. Just flesh out the letter more and explain to the reader what's going on.

    Best,

    Angel
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  • Profile picture of the author walterj79
    Looks good! Great way to capture the reader. i'm not into drums at all but it caught my attention. Buy it now should be in the middle and at the bottom. Just my 2 cents
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  • Profile picture of the author GeorgeJoel
    Based on the content, could you give me an example of a juicy - grabbing headline?

    George
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    Tools Every Marketer MUST HAVE!!!
    www.squeezepages.com, www.graphicscollection.com
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  • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
    Hi George,

    Will the readers know you before they hit this page?

    What goes on your page will depend on your answer.

    All the best,
    Ewen

    Originally Posted by GeorgeJoel View Post

    Last week I launched an amazing info resource for drummers on the best domain one can get from drumming: www.drum.com I thought I did a pretty good job, but I am open to your Critique!

    I'd like to get some feedback from members on our sales copy for the program.
    Thanks in advance for your help!

    George

    Here's the link to the sales copy again:
    www.drum.com
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2947375].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author GeorgeJoel
      Ewen,

      Some will through my numerous videos on drumming that will be sending me traffic, but the majority will not be so familiar.

      George
      Signature

      Tools Every Marketer MUST HAVE!!!
      www.squeezepages.com, www.graphicscollection.com
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[2947418].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        George,

        Sounds like you aren't new to the drumming world
        and are serious about making it a long term business.

        Therefore building a long term lead generation system
        instead of going for the one hit sale seems more viable.

        Asking strangers to buy is a big ask.

        Using little steps, like seduction, gets you better results.

        Sending cold traffic to a squeeze page with an irresistable offer
        then email follow ups gets the job done.

        Also, product launch is another option, if you have all your ducks in a row.

        Some bigger picture thinking for you.

        All the best,
        Ewen



        Originally Posted by GeorgeJoel View Post

        Ewen,

        Some will through my numerous videos on drumming that will be sending me traffic, but the majority will not be so familiar.

        George
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  • Profile picture of the author makingiants
    Love the site, George.
    Once you do a bit of tweaking, you'll be just fine!
    Best of success, man.
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