Copy Critique: drum.com - Million Dollar Domain!

Dude, I don't know how you pulled that off but a PR5 squeeze page? Props to you! Nice design. I'd give you an 8 out of 10.
Only thing missing is some type of headline "Big promise"...."Their Jaws DROPPED when I started to Play..."
And 1 or 2 testimonials to seal the deal.
Who did your graphics? Nice!

do you own that domain? If so, nice property!

Hi George,

A few quick notes:

1) The header is hard to read. It's a little too "grungy." Readability is more important than style.

2) You don't have a proper headline. As a result, it's not completely clear what you're offering until you read some of the copy. The problem is that a lot of people will never make it that far down the page if you don't have a headline. It's a "catch-22" of sorts.

3) Your initial video screen offers a "free" DVD, but the button reads "add to cart" and offers a money-back guarantee. If it's free, they shouldn't need a money-back guarantee. Do you see the conflict?

In advertising, there's a saying: "Confuse 'em and you'll lose 'em." Your page is a bit confusing -- as a result, you're losing conversions.

There are other problems, as well -- but at least you've got a great domain name.

-John

I wouldn't start off with "what this isn't" copy.

I feel that it's weak, and I - the reader, wanted to know what "THIS IS" rather than what it's not.

Just my nugget of advice, I'm sure you'll get a lot more advice here.

P.S. Strong domain name.

WOW! Incredible site George.

I especially liked the certificate money back guarantee that you offer. The grafix were amazing as well.

I really hope it sells.

Hi George,

The site isn't terrible. Like Matt said, I've definitely seen worse.

But I did see things to be fixed.

Now, this is my opinion... but unless you've done A LOT of preselling, I wouldn't put the purchase button at the top. You're instantly saying, "Buy my ****... right now."

Musicians are a very skeptical market. I know; I worked with them before. Only once you've told them your story and shown them that you're part of their world, would I put the Add to Cart button.

Your copy is also kinda confusing. I think you need to spend some time clearing it up and making sure there is clarity.

Also, like Johnny said... there is no headline. This, combined with the Add to Cart button at the top, makes it very confusing upon arriving.

"433 Spots available and a Free DVD? For what? What's going on?"

You don't want your prospect to say that when they hit the page.

You have a continuity program: that's smart. Just flesh out the letter more and explain to the reader what's going on.

Best,

Angel

Looks good! Great way to capture the reader. i'm not into drums at all but it caught my attention. Buy it now should be in the middle and at the bottom. Just my 2 cents

Based on the content, could you give me an example of a juicy - grabbing headline?

George

Hi George,

Will the readers know you before they hit this page?

What goes on your page will depend on your answer.

All the best,
Ewen

Love the site, George.
Once you do a bit of tweaking, you'll be just fine!
Best of success, man.