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What would you change?

by Wesley Atkins
5 replies
Even through I test everything I do... I'd still like to know your thought process on the graphic below...

Note: This is just the top of a 2000 word sales letter.. So, just interested to know..

1. What would be your objections to the below?
2. After you read all the copy in this image, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
3. What would you change in the graphic below?

Thanks in advance...

#change
  • Profile picture of the author TheFreebieGuy
    One thing I would change is instead of linking to the video at the bottom, I would just go ahead and embed the video in the page. That way, they have all the info they need to make the decision on that page and they have less chances to get distracted from the main goal - to opt in or make a purchase.

    Also, you probably do have this but since it's not in the image, I'll mention it. It needs a strong call to action. So either a very obvious opt-in box or an "add to cart" button.
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    My Blog - The Freebie Guy - (FREE Advice and Tips to Grow your Online Business)
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    • Profile picture of the author Wesley Atkins
      Originally Posted by TheFreebieGuy View Post

      One thing I would change is instead of linking to the video at the bottom, I would just go ahead and embed the video in the page. That way, they have all the info they need to make the decision on that page and they have less chances to get distracted from the main goal - to opt in or make a purchase.

      Also, you probably do have this but since it's not in the image, I'll mention it. It needs a strong call to action. So either a very obvious opt-in box or an "add to cart" button.
      Good point on imbedding the video... thanks

      Oh yeah, this is just the top of a 2000 word salesletter...
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      • Profile picture of the author TheFreebieGuy
        Originally Posted by Wesley Atkins View Post

        Oh yeah, this is just the top of a 2000 word salesletter...
        Yeah, I assumed that was the case, but just wanted to make sure. All the best with your project!
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        Leslie, The Freebie Guy
        My Blog - The Freebie Guy - (FREE Advice and Tips to Grow your Online Business)
        Build Your Online Business in 7 Days - 7 Day Bootcamp

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  • Profile picture of the author Wesley Atkins
    Ok, the sales page is finished.. Here it is...

    15 Minute Backlinks – How To Build High Quality Backlinks On Autopilot In 15 Mins Per Day!

    Would love to hear your thoughts!!
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  • Profile picture of the author Johnny12345
    Hi Wesley,

    At the very least, your sales letter needs careful proofreading.

    I didn't even read past the header section, but I still found THREE errors.

    1) Your pre-head says...

    Tired of building links to your site everyday?.. If so,… here’s how to get…

    But it really should be punctuated as follows:

    Tired of building links to your site everyday? If so, here’s how to get…

    (An ellipsis has three dots -- not two.)

    2) The word "in-effective" should be "ineffective" -- there's no hyphen needed.

    3) I don't like the usage of "mins." The word is "minutes" -- it has no abbreviation.

    My guess is that the rest of the letter probably also contains errors.

    On the positive side, the template is nice and clean -- a welcome change from the typical gaudy mini-site.

    Regards,

    John

    P.S. One more quick note. The subhead should build on the headline -- not repeat it. I would delete the part of the subhead that says "In 15 Mins A Day!" Instead, end with the word "autopilot."
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