"Sneak Peak" at Today's Sales Letter

by Vincenzo Oliva

Posted: 13 years ago 21 replies

COPY WRITING

I believe this is a classic example of a sales letter circa 2010.
Large featured integrated lead video sits on top leading into the copy.
Large type, bold, lots of images, featured testimonials. This WORKS!

Knowing Ryan Deiss who a "testing freak" I'm sure this converts like crazy.

Mobile Local Fusion

What do you think?

#letter #sales #sneak peak #today

copycashvalve 13 years ago

It's ok, I found a problem. The video didn't want to work for me right away but I like that the headline was the first frame of the video so that saved it. I also looked on my mobile phone and there was a mobile version of it, so that's good.

For the price, I wanted to see more information, maybe some more proof, I don't think there was enough and I also thought the close was weak. That's just me and my .02

Oh and this

What do you mean NOBODY know it, I thought you wanted to teach me something. Lol
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- MontelloMarketing 13 years ago
  
  Trys? What language is that word from?
  
  Thanks
  
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  Nick Brighton 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing
  
  Trys? What language is that word from?
  
  The same one that thinks "Nobody know it" is good grammar.
  
  Maybe spelling and grammar doesn't matter when you've got such big lists.
  
  In my world, those things count. Maybe it's because I target people who can ****ing read.
  
  But back on point...
  
  I know that this format works well. It caters to people who like to skim and people who like to sit back and be entertained.
  
  Still, it doesn't mean it will work. Context, relevancy and persuasion are what matters. No matter what.
  
  Thanks
  
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  Vincenzo Oliva 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by MontelloMarketing
  
  Trys? What language is that word from?
  
  Interesting, I think it should be "Tries" :-)
  The copywriter is "FIRED" for not having a proof reader.
  
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  Boogaloo 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Vincenzo Oliva
  
  Interesting, I think it should be "Tries" :-)
  The copywriter is "FIRED" for not having a proof reader.
  
  Shouldn't that be the copywriter is "fried" :p
  
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Daniel Scott 13 years ago

That is some goddamn awful copy.

This is one of the problems with this forum... the blind leading the blind.

If that copy "converts like crazy" I'll eat my hat and my left arm.

It's shoddy work. Maybe Ryan doesn't care anymore.

Maybe the JV partners he has on board makes good copy redundant (I doubt it).

Whatever the reason... this turd should NOT go in your swipe file.

-Daniel
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sethczerepak 13 years ago

I guess he's counting on people just listening to Ryan and not reading.
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- b1833 13 years ago
  
  He has some false information.
  
  For example, in google maps, the pins on the map with letters are the 7 to 10 listings that are showing on the left. Not claimed websites. The dots do not mean they are unclaimed, they are on other pages than the current one.
  
  I also have a problem when some refers to a listing as being a "website" as Ryan does.
  
  Thanks
  
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scrofford 13 years ago

Complete Garbage and who would even think about paying $97.00 for this crap? The copy is a joke and I have no idea why the OP thinks this is excellent stuff!
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- virginiad 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by scrofford
  
  Complete Garbage and who would even think about paying $97.00 for this crap? The copy is a joke and I have no idea why the OP thinks this is excellent stuff!
  
  Are you a dog trainer? If so, the "crap" in these videos can mean many thousands of extra dollars in your pocket.
  
  Do you sell affiliate products? If so, the "crap" in these videos can mean many thousands of extra dollars in your pocket, especially in a niche as competitive as dog training.
  
  Do you sell your own product online? If so, the "crap" in these videos can mean many thousands of extra dollars in your pocket, especially in a niche as competitive as dog training.
  
  The info, in the right hands, is worth much more than $97
  
  Virginia
  
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  Virginia Drew
  
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Vincenzo Oliva 13 years ago

I don't know if you're referring to me, but my point was the "style" of the sales page NOT the copy itself. I never said the copy was great. I do think he starts with a good hook. Some might be curious to know about Google giving away 50 millions websites.
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BrianMcLeod 13 years ago

The design is OptimizePress, btw.

James Dyson has created a MONSTER!

OptimizePress - Internet Marketing Wordpress Theme
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- Collette 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod
  
  The design is OptimizePress, btw.
  
  ...
  
  Is that a fixed width template, do you know? I find it a bit wide and large, for me. It feels so in-your-face that I feel like I have to back away from the screen.
  
  Like when you're at a party and you get cornered by someone who's standing a little too close to you, and speaking just a little too loudly. :p
  
  As for the copy... Gawd.:confused:
  
  Regardless of who it's from, the headline and body copy are riddled with blatant misinformation. And don't get me started on the typos! The whole thing reads like it was written by the cheapest ESL 'copywriter' he could find.
  
  This makes me doubt the quality of the product. If the copy is so crappily written, it gives the impression that the product is complete crap.
  
  I like the layout, though. Just would like it a little tighter all round.
  
  Thanks
  
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  BrianMcLeod 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Collette
  
  Is that a fixed width template, do you know?
  
  That's the default 960 width, I guess.
  
  There's also a thinner-width set of templates too.
  
  B
  
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- Irish Intuition 13 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod
  
  The design is OptimizePress, btw.
  
  James Dyson has created a MONSTER!
  
  OptimizePress - Internet Marketing Wordpress Theme
  
  I bought it and I LOVE it!
  
  Thanks
  
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  Irish Intuition 13 years ago
  
  The copy is what it is. I doubt there is as much weight
  on the copy as there is from the source
  
  Most of these gurus are very lazy when it comes to
  the copy. They put FAR more effort into their emails.
  
  They master pre-selling (i.e. Mass Control).
  
  I'm not sure there is a good reason to say 'here's
  what sucks'... more so if it comes from people who
  have not done anything noteworthy themselves.
  
  If I don't have to spend 2 weeks writing a sales
  page because my list is starving, who cares about
  impressing copywriters... unless it is for a copywriting
  product.
  
  Thanks
  
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Zero 13 years ago

Judging by the past sales letters Ryan has used, i find it very hard to believe, he had anything to do with that sales copy.

It doesn't bare any of the hallmarks of his previous copies. None of the "psychic" sales designs he has spoken of, which are there to boost conversions..or any of that stuff.

And anyway, every product he has released this year ( excluding the Facebook thingy he just did the other week) have all been sales videos, at least in this niche.
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Zero 13 years ago

As i figured. That was just a temp placeholder or something, because they switched to a sales video done by Ryan himself. I expected as much judging by all the products he launched this year.
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Boogaloo 13 years ago

He also claims in the video that there are millions of unclaimed places listings showing plumbers as an example however, he claims that the pins in the image are the only claimed listings which simply isnt true. That is merely the first page of results showing the top ten pins and as you search other pages the rest will show up with their pins.

The real method in this business is to take one of those lesser listings on as a client and optimise it so it outranks the others and gets to page one. Then you have to keep it there with continual updates, citations,and reviews.

As a business model it works and I make a nice income from it as one arm of my business.

Bottom line is there are WSO's on this subject that are far cheaper and the sellers are more honest in their aproach.
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DannyDarwin 13 years ago

"Blurred out for security reasons" - yeah, that is the bribe if you try to exit, the "customer grabbing postcard"...

Wow, I never heard of a postcard that had to be blurred out for security reasons. It must be something very special. I'm so curious. I must buy and find out. NOT.
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MonsterZero 13 years ago

Wow! Ryan Deiss is such a "testing freak" that he even tests crappy copy that looks like a 4th grader wrote it!

Impressive!
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