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Critique Needed for New OTO

by Raiel Schwartz
16 replies
Hey Warriors,

What do you guys think?
PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

I am going to be adding 2-5 testimonials on the OTO, aside from that any other things you see that can be added/changed to increase conversions?

Thanks!
#critique #needed #oto
  • Profile picture of the author Zentech
    It's decent, but I find it a little on the dull side. Maybe that's just my taste, but it really feels like it could use about 20% more fire, zip, pizazz, or whatever one wants to call the thing that gets people excited about the offer.

    What does that mean in specific terms? Well, I think you could use a bit more variation in font sizes, bolding, and that sort of thing. Don't overdo it, but a little more variety for the eye here wouldn't hurt. It prevents boredom.

    That's no biggie, though. More importantly, I'm also not really thrilled with your headline. It shares the same sense of dullness I'm getting throughout - and because it's the headline, it might even be causing some of the sense of dullness in the rest of the page. Instead of what you have, why not try something more like:

    Don't Miss Your Only Chance To Snap Up No Less Than 12 Proven Profit-Pulling Products Straight Out Of The Original PLRNicheClub For A Fraction Of The Regular Cost.

    It's basically the same thing you already have, but a little jazzier. You really could go even jazzier than this, but if you want to be a little conservative, there it is.

    So, basically, spice up the headline and maybe get a little more visual variety going on in the text, especially in the first few paragraphs - but don't overdo it.

    Also, you seem to have a pretty solid offer, but just out of curiosity, has that $77 price point been tested? Just wondering.

    Hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    the headline is vague and very weak.

    the whole first section intro lost me.

    here's what i've got
    here's why its important to you
    here's what it is
    heres what to do next

    your copy isn't answering that for me... especially in the beginning...

    that said the layout is nice... but no idea if that is tested or not as far as increasing conversions... my guess, not.
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    • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
      Your most important part of your headline is buried...

      You've Probably Heard The Saying "CONTENT IS KING" If You REALLY Want To Make Money Online...


      And go ahead and spell out what PLR is... as most of your biz will be from newbies... yet your copy talks to experienced warriors.
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    Haven't tested the $77.00 price yet.

    Seems that I basically need to offer more value and "spice" up the offer.

    That's why I included my bonuses, any other ideas to increase value?

    The PLRNicheClub 2.0 membership bonus is actually pretty huge, perhaps
    I should elaborate what's included in a membership.

    I do however agree that the headline is a bit dull, ganna come up with some
    changes. Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    Hello Warriors,

    Let me know what you think now.

    I have changed the headline, edited some salescopy
    throughout parts of the letter, and added my photo
    among other small changes.

    New OTO:
    PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

    Old OTO:
    PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

    If you take a look on the ecovers in the table
    you can see some of them are quite butchered.
    This is b.c. I used photoshop to remove the white-
    background but it damaged some of the images. I'm
    going to be giving someone the original ecovers so
    they can remove the white space so that should be
    fixed by Mon or Tue. If any warriors are interested
    in this job, or are graphically component to fix it
    themselves I will pay $5-$10 via paypal. PM me!

    Any other suggestions for the OTO? How does the new
    headline compare to the old? Any other areas that can
    be improved for conversions?

    After the ecover images are fixed, I'll pay for some solo
    ad traffic to test conversions. I think this is more of a $67.00
    offer then a $77 so that is why I lowered the price, but I have
    also heard conversions at $67-$77 remain the same so I am
    curious as to whether I should leave it. Any thoughts to this?

    Thanks so much for the help. These forums contain great knowledge,
    just gotta apply it for 2011 and beyond

    Truly,
    Craig Michaels
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    • Profile picture of the author prahna1
      I disagree with Zentech. I think it's way too much.

      I really hate the WAIT! headlines as they are getting so overused in the IM niche. Especially if it's not really a one time offer and we get emails from you about it in out in box.

      I mean have you bought a domain name lately at GoDaddy or a computer at Dell? Go through their sales process and they offer a way to UPGRADE or a way to ADD TO THE ORDER.

      I may be biased because I am a video marketer but it makes sense to me if you have a video and talk to people and tell them what they get.

      Have you gone through Frank Kern's Mass Control? OTO's should be like - hey I got this extra thing if you want it cool if not no worry's. Here's what it does, how it will help you, how much it costs and here's how you can get it or add it or upgrade.

      Also what is the original product? I see you are offering products like enjoy your cats? But in the opening you say Internet Marketers?

      Me as an internet marketer would have no use for an ebook like that. Also you value each at like $27, for just an ebook? Why not offer a membership fee at a lower price and give access to all products or do a trial.

      I'm just not digging this offer sorry man. In your ad you say
      "Most PLR Material Available On The Internet Is Worthless Recycled Crap!"

      That's exactly what it looks like you are offering here.

      I would actually take your bonus #1 and make that your whole OTO but turn it into a 7, 10 or 14 day trial.

      YOu might want to test out your price too. $23.50 per month is a wierd number. Also you kind of sneak it in there that they are getting a monthly fee. Not a good idea, you should make it very clear that it's only a trial and they will get billed again.

      Hope this helps you out!!

      Preston Rahn
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      • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
        Originally Posted by prahna1 View Post

        I disagree with Zentech. I think it's way too much.

        I really hate the WAIT! headlines as they are getting so overused in the IM niche. Especially if it's not really a one time offer and we get emails from you about it in out in box.

        I mean have you bought a domain name lately at GoDaddy or a computer at Dell? Go through their sales process and they offer a way to UPGRADE or a way to ADD TO THE ORDER.

        This is a personal preference. If it is used a lot, it may appear as trite (which would be negative) but on the flipside if it is used frequently it may be because it works. I would rather do some testing and test two different headline angles rather than just take your word for it. I also do plan to stick to the 100 customers only rule, so in a way it really is a OTO. If it doesn't sell-out in a timely manner I'd most likely add elements of urgency and script it so the offer can only be shown once per IP or something of that sort.


        I may be biased because I am a video marketer but it makes sense to me if you have a video and talk to people and tell them what they get.

        Have you gone through Frank Kern's Mass Control? OTO's should be like - hey I got this extra thing if you want it cool if not no worry's. Here's what it does, how it will help you, how much it costs and here's how you can get it or add it or upgrade.

        Also what is the original product? I see you are offering products like enjoy your cats? But in the opening you say Internet Marketers?

        Me as an internet marketer would have no use for an ebook like that. Also you value each at like $27, for just an ebook? Why not offer a membership fee at a lower price and give access to all products or do a trial.

        I'm just not digging this offer sorry man. In your ad you say
        "Most PLR Material Available On The Internet Is Worthless Recycled Crap!"

        That's exactly what it looks like you are offering here.

        I would actually take your bonus #1 and make that your whole OTO but turn it into a 7, 10 or 14 day trial.

        YOu might want to test out your price too. $23.50 per month is a wierd number. Also you kind of sneak it in there that they are getting a monthly fee. Not a good idea, you should make it very clear that it's only a trial and they will get billed again.

        I have NOT gone through Frank Kern's Mass Control but
        I like to believe I have a decent understanding of web
        marketing.

        The original product was my PLR membership site. You
        can preview the old salesletter here:

        PLRNicheClub - Cash Generating Private Label Rights Products Delivered Monthly

        Right now I am currently developing my new membership
        site. Public launch is scheduled for 2-15.

        Perhaps I should appeal to Niche Marketers? I address
        Internet Marketers because I figure it would reciprocate
        a wider audience.

        These products aren't an addition to an Internet
        Marketer's "web-arsenal", there niche PLR ready to
        be marketed. I value them at $27.00, b.c. that is
        the minimum I retail my PLR.

        My membership fee is $47.00/month, I figured 50% off
        would be a good over so that is why you get that
        number.

        I will expand greatly upon the two bonuses as I think
        that will improve the value of the OTO but what makes
        you say my PLR comes off as "The Rest of the Garbage
        Out There"?

        Hope this helps you out!!

        Preston Rahn
        Thanks for the comments.

        Truly,
        Craig Michaels
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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    If there's a story in here, it gets lost in all the hype. Simplify, simplify, simplify. You can still look gorgeous visually and have proof elements and bonuses coming out the wazoo.. The flow of the letter gets just lost, and then you lose the reader.

    The offer is also too generic - who is this for specifically, why is this better than competing offers, why buy now? Try giving answers to questions like that.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    There are at least two serious issues with this offer. The first is that your headline screams, Attention Internet Marketer. The problem is that none of the products deal with Internet marketing. So you're shouting about apples and offering fruit salad.

    The second is the price of $67. For that kind of money I could literally buy 20+ GB of very recent PLR material. Generally speaking, OTO private label stuff is priced in the bargain basement ranges. I'd be surprised if you pulled even a single sale with this thing.

    Good luck.
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    LOL.... its still pretty lousy dude.

    when I was in advertising school, one of my teachers said this to me (and i'll never forget it)

    you can take a turd, polish it up and make it look really nice and shiny... but at the end of the day, its still a turd.

    aside from that, you ALREADY sold them with a long sales letter.... now you wan them to read another long sales letter?

    probably not gonna happen.

    dude, with the oto, get to the friggin point... fast.

    what is in it for me?

    you gotta answer that within 3 seconds or the 'ether' is gone.

    and why do i need this when i JUST bought something else?
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  • Profile picture of the author Raiel Schwartz
    A lot of you seem to be confused with the process of the OTO.

    First off, this OTO isn't displayed after the visitor makes an initial
    purchase, it is displayed after they opt in for a free report, you
    can see the current squeeze here:

    PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

    Secondly, there is a difference between any regular PLR product
    and highly marketable ones. Sure, you may find 20GB worth of
    PLR that the entire industry has access to for $67.00 but the PLR
    I offer to my members are restricted (therefore it is unlikely
    that my PLR will become saturated or competetive)

    Lastly, I have updated my OTO. Think it addresses many of the
    concerns expressed in this thread.

    PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

    My 3 bonuses have real-value that exceeds the OTO and in combination
    with the 12 high-quality PLR I think it is a better offer now.

    May offer a down-sell offer as well, but haven't thought about it yet.

    Looking forward to new comments!

    Truly,
    Craig Michaels
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    • Profile picture of the author Zero
      Originally Posted by Craig.Michaels View Post

      A lot of you seem to be confused with the process of the OTO.

      First off, this OTO isn't displayed after the visitor makes an initial
      purchase, it is displayed after they opt in for a free report, you
      can see the current squeeze here:

      PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

      Secondly, there is a difference between any regular PLR product
      and highly marketable ones. Sure, you may find 20GB worth of
      PLR that the entire industry has access to for $67.00 but the PLR
      I offer to my members are restricted (therefore it is unlikely
      that my PLR will become saturated or competetive)

      Lastly, I have updated my OTO. Think it addresses many of the
      concerns expressed in this thread.

      PLRNicheClub - The Web's Best Private Label Rights Products Membership Club

      My 3 bonuses have real-value that exceeds the OTO and in combination
      with the 12 high-quality PLR I think it is a better offer now.

      May offer a down-sell offer as well, but haven't thought about it yet.

      Looking forward to new comments!

      Truly,
      Craig Michaels
      I'd use something like for the OTO offer page:

      IMPORTANT
      Before You Continue
      You're only going to see this page once (ever), so please read every word very very carefully. It's that important.


      Your headline is not good at all. It doesn't grab the attention. You need to spend alot of time on your headline. Use a Red colour headline.




      You make the claim that your website is the best PLR membership on the entire internet. Why is it the best on the web? What sets you apart from everyone else?

      Also, don't use "Order now" buttons. Use the Add to cart buttons.

      As for ur squeeze page. I'm not sold on that either. Have you tested how it converts yet?
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    lol.... no the OTO is made after a sale.... you're confused dude.
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    You get lots of excellent feedback and have ridiculous rationales for not listening to any of it. Par for the course. Good luck anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author alcymart
    the "WAIT" makes it seem like you're desperate in their minds and some are already gone at that point.

    ...the all Red Headline will get them going to the fridge (Red increases appetite). McDonalds knows a lot about Red's... or scare them away on that White background. Not the best color combo for a Headline for starters...
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