First Squeeze Page Review Please

14 replies
Hey Warriors,

I've finished the first draft of my first squeeze page. I'd like a little feedback on it.

The niche is personal development, specifically the Law of Attraction. I've got a book coming out next year, and I'm wanting to build up a nice big list before then.

Here it is:
Get the first five chapters of "42 Rules for Creating the Life You Deserve"

I've tried to take in the working aspects of many different squeeze pages, and I'm hoping that the general feel is pretty decent.

Thanks!
#page #review #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author Ross Dalangin
    I think the call to action is not that complete. Even though it is a paid book you can reiterate the common word that people like to here "FREE". Something like "Get the Amazing 5 Chapters of My Upcoming Book entitled '42 Rules for Creating the Life You Deserve' for FREE."

    Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Ramsey
    Thanks for pointing that out. I'll definitely have to make that more clear.
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  • Profile picture of the author Phil Weslow
    I think that there are some text and spacing tweaks that could help.

    First, I would put some "white space" between "Are you really ready to change your life?" and "How To Master the Art and Science of the Law of Attraction".

    Used properly white space helps draws readers eyes down the page. Too much text clumped together can actually cause people to zone out.

    Next I would double the white space before and after "It's because they know something you don't!" as well as before and after your checklist.

    Other than that, I would highlight some of the text that comes before the checklist. I would not go too crazy with this, just a little bit of highlighting. I think it will add some "pop" to your ad.
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    FeedbackSecrets.com - Strategies and Techniques for Establishing Your Online Business
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Ramsey
    Originally Posted by sprntex View Post

    I think you did a great job although the place were you enter yuour name and email, is not showing all the way. only shows about a mm.
    I just noticed this. It was a CSS thing with IE. I've fixed it and will be uploading the new version with that change soon.
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    • Profile picture of the author Crazy J
      Hi Sheda,
      I just looked at your squeeze page and these were a few things I noticed:

      Layout is nice and clean.

      I would make the text:"It's because they know something you don't!" one
      font larger and bold it.

      Then I would use checkmarks with the same color as the book cover on the right.

      I would also try to make the dotted line around the Optin Box in red as well
      as the text on the buy button.

      I put together a sample of my suggestions for you at:
      CrazyJBlog.com/LOA so you can see what I mean.

      I am am not a super web designer but I worked for years as a window
      display artist and there are things that hold true as far as how our visual
      attraction works.

      The red in the text gets the eye scrolling down through the page to the
      Sign up button. Kinda like a funnel effect.

      There are also a few text suggestions in your bullet points.

      I would also suggest having a 3D version of your book cover made.
      I can help you there if you like.

      I was inspired by your book outline as I am working on a similar project
      and thought I could possibly help out.

      Let me know what you think.
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      Cheers, Smiles and Laughs,
      Crazy J
      a.k.a. Johnny Hollywood
      Comedian turned Internet Marketer - www.ImCrazyJ.com
      www.facebook.com/crazyj.mentor

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      • Profile picture of the author Chris Ramsey
        Originally Posted by Crazy J View Post

        I was inspired by your book outline as I am working on a similar project
        and thought I could possibly help out.

        Let me know what you think.
        You sure did! I gave you a thanks.

        Your point about a 'funnel effect' really makes sense. I've made those changes in the red and you're right, it really does draw the eye to certain points.

        I also changed the first line. It's now a lighter color.

        I'm really liking the way this is turning out.

        In the morning I'll be working on the copy some to make it more 'feeling'.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rob Canyon
    scheda

    sent you a PM

    cheers,

    Rob
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  • Profile picture of the author jazzyjeff
    Scheda,

    Squeeze page is not that bad. I did notice on the bottom of your opt in form "this form is not yet active".

    You could try testing a new headline. When I first looked at the title really didn't attract me to read on.

    Other than those, you are on the right track.

    Jeff
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  • Profile picture of the author Chris Ramsey
    I plan on testing a few different headlines once it's up and running.

    The line under the form is there simply because the form isn't active. It doesn't do anything at the moment. I'll be replacing it with an AWeber form once I sign up with them. It'll still be styled the same way though.
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  • Profile picture of the author Zeal4Life
    Hmm... Lets see here...

    Something about "...the Art and Science" ... just seems too broad for me.

    Which is it more of? Art or Science.

    Let's step back a bit...

    When guys like Joe Vitale (A credible and well-known author) talk about the Law of Attraction ... Do they talk about it more as a "Science" or an "Art" ... Hmmm...

    Something tells me, its more Art than it is a "Science" .

    But because there maybe specific methodology to the "Art", THAT could be the "Science behind Art".

    So maybe something along the lines of ...

    "Specific Baby-Step By Baby-Step Techniques Behind The Law of Attraction That Will Shatter Barriers In Your Life and Catapult You To The Top Your Game/Career In (Enter a reasonable time frame here)".

    Something along those lines...

    Just my 2 cents...
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    • Profile picture of the author Chris Ramsey
      Originally Posted by Zeal4Life View Post

      "Specific Baby-Step By Baby-Step Techniques Behind The Law of Attraction That Will Shatter Barriers In Your Life and Catapult You To The Top Your Game/Career In (Enter a reasonable time frame here)".

      Something along those lines...

      Just my 2 cents...
      I like where you're going with this. This is too long for me though. Your headline definitely has kick to it, I'll be rewriting some things today so I'll try to fit some of this in there too.

      Thanks!
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  • Profile picture of the author spearsy
    I think its good, however I did find when I scrolled down the background made my eyes go funny, this could be just me though so just a suggestion :0)
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  • Profile picture of the author AnarchyAds
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author naruq
      Discover How You Can Get the amazing 5 chapters of my upcoming Book entitled "42 Rules for creating the life you deserve." Time Sensistive Limited Offer!
      Signature

      Please do not use affiliate links in signatures

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