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Please critique my sales letter

by Backlinks Weekend
4 replies
I have put my offer online for nearly 3 weeks now, yet the conversion rate is not what I want. I think the problem arises from my sales letter page. So, could you please review it and show me how I can improve it better?

I wrote the sales letter my own. Here's the URL Ultimate Rank Protector - Wordpress Keyword Rank Tracking Plug-in

Thanks
#critique #letter #sales
  • Profile picture of the author halwitsweb
    I think the functionality of the product cannot be understood easily.
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    Comprehensive IT Solutions | E-commerce Website development | Mobile Applications | Marine Software | GPS Based Systems | Business Building Solutions

    Website - Development, Designing, Modification, Maintenance, Optimization - All under one roof
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  • Profile picture of the author TheHawk
    Originally Posted by marketify View Post

    I have put my offer online for nearly 3 weeks now, yet the conversion rate is not what I want. I think the problem arises from my sales letter page. So, could you please review it and show me how I can improve it better?

    I wrote the sales letter my own. Here's the URL Ultimate Rank Protector - Wordpress Keyword Rank Tracking Plug-in

    Thanks
    I think you should give demo video of how you are working with your plug-in.. Your sales page is a bit confusing and doesn't a perfect idea what it is all about..
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    • Profile picture of the author Paul Hooper-Kelly
      Hi Marketify,

      Congratulations on having a go at creating your own sales letter.

      Trouble is, your headline is like a hundred others and isn't compelling enough to make them want to know more.

      But, buried in your body text is this:

      "One of the problem that people find in getting to the top of search engine rankings, especially Google, is they don’t remember what keywords they have to optimize for a post in their blog."

      So think about using this as the 'hook' to reel your visitors in and make them want to find out more - with a headline like this ...

      "Are You Making This FATAL
      Keyword Mistake With Your SEO?"

      It will take iron willpower not to want to know what they fatal mistake they might be making is - so they'll start to read the letter (which is the purpose of the headline).

      There's plenty more, but that's a start.

      Warmest regards,

      Paul
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      If you want to stack the copywriting deck in your favor with tricks and hacks producing winners like: "$20K in three days" "650 sold" "30% conversion", then you might like to know I'm retiring and will spill the beans to two people. More info here.
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      • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
        Put the header above the video...

        ...and get a better header that makes me want to read.

        And put in the header the big offer...

        "Plug-in To Track Keyword Ranks... So You Can (benefit here)"

        The reader isn't going to dig for the benefit, promise or offer... as you can see from your results... they simply click away.

        You've got to stop them... or they will stop you from being in business.
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