Causing pain in the reader

21 replies
A question.

How many of you have written a sales page, and not used the "Pain" technique.

Did you ever use uplifting copy and never instill a fear of loss?

I wrote a sales page where the protagonist speaks of his success in an area. He talks a little about where he came from...but I only use about one paragraph out of a three thousand word piece where I say, "Imagine yourself (sense of pain, missing out)."

I would love to post the sales page, but I'm sure my client may read it here.
#causing #pain #reader
  • Profile picture of the author briancassingena
    The formula I use is problem - aggravate - solve - prove - call to action. But one distinction I want to make clear is that I never seek to create any pain where there is not already some, or the reader will stop reading right there.

    My job is to highlight the pain that is already there, and then present my product as the solution to that pain. But if you ignore the pain your prospect is already feeling you're missing a big step
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    • Profile picture of the author dorothydot
      Originally Posted by briancassingena View Post

      The formula I use is problem - aggravate - solve - prove - call to action. But one distinction I want to make clear is that I never seek to create any pain where there is not already some, or the reader will stop reading right there.

      My job is to highlight the pain that is already there, and then present my product as the solution to that pain. But if you ignore the pain your prospect is already feeling you're missing a big step
      Abso-totally-lutely!

      Granted, you need to be gentle when touching their pain... but it does have to be done. Here's where being an expert wordsmith comes in handy. Very handy.

      And you need to gently remind them throughout your copy of that pain as well - usually a phrase or sentence is enough here.

      But it does have to be done. (I wrote once for a website promoting a natural remedy for, of all things, genital herpes. Started off by having the reader "feel the pain" - and it was very close to writing poetry, I'll tell you!)

      Dot
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      • Profile picture of the author bareket57
        Originally Posted by dorothydot View Post

        Abso-totally-lutely!

        Granted, you need to be gentle when touching their pain... but it does have to be done. Here's where being an expert wordsmith comes in handy. Very handy.

        And you need to gently remind them throughout your copy of that pain as well - usually a phrase or sentence is enough here.

        But it does have to be done. (I wrote once for a website promoting a natural remedy for, of all things, genital herpes. Started off by having the reader "feel the pain" - and it was very close to writing poetry, I'll tell you!)

        Dot
        Indeed expert advice – I just love reading your posts – you are undeniably a master word-smith making your sentences shine with poetic eloquence. I read that sales page you wrote and I was impressed how you could take such an ugly niche and produce such a beautiful piece of prose – indeed the mastery of turning iron into gold.
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    • Profile picture of the author alcymart
      Originally Posted by briancassingena View Post

      But one distinction I want to make clear is that I never seek to create any pain where there is not already some, or the reader will stop reading right there
      I learned this the hard way and it took me years and a few hundred Ad copies later before I could say, "Ok, I cannot get a better conversion on that one". We must level off the pain at some point else, like you said, their Gone!

      Bernard
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    • Profile picture of the author dalasmueller
      Originally Posted by briancassingena View Post

      The formula I use is problem - aggravate - solve - prove - call to action. But one distinction I want to make clear is that I never seek to create any pain where there is not already some, or the reader will stop reading right there.

      My job is to highlight the pain that is already there, and then present my product as the solution to that pain. But if you ignore the pain your prospect is already feeling you're missing a big step
      This is a vital distinction. You don't want to give anyone pain - you just want to remind them of the pain that is already present so that they are hungry for a solution by the time you present it to them.
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  • Profile picture of the author DanielleLynnCopy
    Jeez, the "Pain" technique.

    This technique you're mentioning wouldn't be the WRITING EVERYTHING IN CAPS TECHNIQUE, would it? That does cause pain.. to my eyes...

    But in all seriousness, I don't believe I'm causing my readers any pain in my copy, rather I believe I'm reminding them of their problems, then I'm presenting relief in the form of solutions (aka the product/service I'm writing for) that they can purchase for a very reasonable amount

    So the answer is yes, I have written without trying to evoke negative emotions from my readers.

    My opinion aside, poking at people's tender spots is commonly used by copywriters because, well... it often works.
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    • Profile picture of the author Collette
      Think of it this way:

      Your sales copy is a "story" you're telling the reader.

      Every good story requires a conflict to drive the action towards the story's conclusion. Without conflict, there is no tension. Without tension, there is no story; it's just writing.

      For a quick example, look at any folk tale or fairytale. There's always a "pain" or "conflict" that drives the lead characters to take action - towards the tale's conclusion. The characters desire resolution, and so, in turn, does the reader.

      Agitating the "pain" in sales copy provides the "conflict" mechanism that creates the desire in the reader (your lead character) to seek a satisfactory ending.

      If your copy is nothing but sunshine and rainbows, it's not going to be particularly compelling. Who reads a story where everything is always wonderful all the time?
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      • Profile picture of the author Sebastion
        No pain...no gain.
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        • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
          Originally Posted by Sebastion View Post

          No pain...no gain.
          Well put dammit.

          Sociological studies consistently show that about 80% of people are problem solving focused. In other words, they don't get up in the morning like many of us entrepreneurs and think:

          "What can I do to improve myself and make the world a better place today?"

          They get up thinking about a problem that they want to solve...and that's when they go looking for a solution. If you connect with them on this level (enter the conversation that's already going on in their mind), you've got a connection.

          If they don't have a problem, or if they're unwilling to admit that they do, they won't look for a solution and they'll ignore anything which appears to be a solution. Bottom line, people purchase products to solve problems...problems which cause emotional pain. Pain based selling isn't about being negative, it's about connecting with your prospect at a deeper level.
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          • Profile picture of the author Sebastion
            Seth you just gave me an amazing insight there. I'll always imagine myself waking up in the morning, and wondering how to solve a problem. This will help my direct response immensely.
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          • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
            Don't do it with the affluent.

            They are more optimistic than negative and prefer to
            associate themselves with like minded people.

            Here's some factoids to make my point.

            Rush Limbaugh has an audience far greater than those spreading
            a negative message. Listeners tune in for hours and advertisers
            flock to be on his program.

            Back in 1997 Gallup released the findings of the nations mood.
            97% of the nation [according to Gallup] were depressed about
            the state of the economy.

            Rush Limbaugh countered by showing the facts to his subscribers...

            *Productivity surged 4.9% in the third quarter, the fastest pace in four years

            *Since January, 1.25 million non-farm jobs were created, 8.4 million since the Bush tax cuts

            *The GDP is up 18.5%, about 1.8 trillion since the start of the Bush Presidency

            *The deficit has fallen to just 1.2% of GDP

            *Discretionary income for US consumers grew to a record high going into the fourth quarter.

            The affluent believe President Reagon was the best President last century followed closely by Kennedy.

            No surprise Nixon was at the bottom of the list.

            If you study the speaches given by the popular Presidents, they all spread a positive message. This includes Obama on the campaign trail.

            The majority of the affluent got to where they are by there own initiative as entrepenuers, business owners and investors. They are optimistic at their core. So they want to be surrounded by optmistic people.

            Frank Kern spreads positive messages. He has mentioned that he has
            done it on purpose.

            Hope you see the distinction so you target the right people.

            All the best,
            Ewen
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            • Profile picture of the author Collette
              Gonna have to disagree with you here:

              [quote=ewenmack;3326672] Don't do it with the affluent.

              They are more optimistic than negative and prefer to
              associate themselves with like minded people.

              Here's some factoids to make my point.

              Rush Limbaugh has an audience far greater than those spreading
              a negative message. Listeners tune in for hours and advertisers
              flock to be on his program.

              Back in 1997 ...[/QUOTE

              This a message to market match. In 1997, Rush is a conservative Republican, talking to other conservative Republicans, during a Republican presidency.

              Of COURSE, he's going to say everything is faaabulous.

              If the sitting President had been a Democrat, Rush's take on the economy, et al, would have been VERY different.

              Just tune in to him now. The irony is that the Obama administration has produced many *facts* similar to those you cited from Rush. But you won't hear them from Rush in 2011...

              To flip this concept in the other direction, try convincing Democrats that Sarah Palin would make a fine President...

              Not gonna sell that. No matter how much positivity you bring to the table.

              The affluent - at least in America - tend to skew towards being politically conservative. If you're trying to sell, say, financial products to the affluent in this country, you're going to be talking to a lot of conservatives or moderate-conservatives. Just how it is.

              And, if, for example, you're talking to affluent donors for environmental causes, you're going to be talking to a lot of affluent liberals. Who aren't in the listening demographic of people like Rush, 'fer sure.


              Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

              ..
              If you study the speaches given by the popular Presidents, they all spread a positive message. This includes Obama on the campaign trail.
              On the whole, it is political suicide for an incumbent President to spread a message of doom and gloom. It is WAY too easy for the opposing side to turn that message around and make it work against their administration.

              Read Frank Luntz's excellent book, Words That Work. As a Republican wordsmith and spinmeister, the man is unequalled. Every copywriter, regardless of their politics, can learn a boatload from this guy.

              Positive bulls*it is all too common in politics, both on the campaign trail, and during the administrative term. It has been thus since the dawn of time. :rolleyes:

              It IS about targeting the right people. And that's why the research phase of copywriting is so important. One should never make superficial judgements based on a pre-supposition of a group dynamic. The affluent, like the rest of us, are people, too.

              And if you get a donor fundraising letter from the Republican Party this year, you can be damn sure the copy angle isn't going to be uplifting and optimistic.
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              • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                Originally Posted by Collette View Post

                Gonna have to disagree with you here:

                Collette,

                Take it up with Dan Kennedy.

                What I wrote was from Dan Kennedy and some quotes
                from his book "No B.S. Marketing To The Affluent"

                He has also done copywriting for politicians.

                Best,
                Ewen
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                • Profile picture of the author Collette
                  Originally Posted by ewenmack View Post

                  Collette,

                  Take it up with Dan Kennedy.

                  What I wrote was from Dan Kennedy and some quotes
                  from his book "No B.S. Marketing To The Affluent"

                  He has also done copywriting for politicians.

                  Best,
                  Ewen
                  That's the problem with taking one guy's approach and using it as a hard-and-fast guideline.

                  Kennedy has never written to affluent liberals. Kennedy is about as far from liberal as you can get. No one could see him as unbiased.

                  So do you seriously think Kennedy would write political copy today, to a conservative base, without talking smack on liberals and the current administration? How well do you think such a letter would pull?

                  Interesting factoid: Gary Halbert used to say that the ONLY way you should allow your prospect to contact you by phone.

                  Anybody still using Halbert's advice verbatim, in 2011, is losing money. LOTS of money.

                  Furthermore, I'm pretty sure Halbert wouldn't make the same recommendation today.

                  Because the methodology doesn't match the reality of the market.

                  There are many guidelines for good copy. But there are few absolutes. Copywriters should always examine a guideline to see if it fits THEIR market and THEIR product. If it doesn't, either don't use it, or tweak it to fit.
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                  • Profile picture of the author High Horsepower
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                    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
                      To further back up High Horsepower, you can listen in to Ken McCarthy
                      interview the guy who set up Lexington Law's lead generation system up on the System blog.

                      Best,
                      Ewen
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  • Profile picture of the author alcymart
    Of course, but its highly dependent on the product I promote. Right now, I'm in a position where I don't need to instill pain among my readers and much to my surprise, I can still achieve an equivalent level of success.

    My Ad copies can go from making the reader feel joyful up to making him or her feel different levels of pain. I like to add a touch of hypnotics here and there in my Ad copies and sometimes I don't use any suffering at all.

    Bernard
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  • Profile picture of the author Harrisonamy
    You do need to agitate the disturbance they're feeling that you can take away or solve. Even if that means they are moving towards something more positive, for most audiences, it is that agitation, that itch that needs scratching that finds them in front of your sales page in teh first place.

    good luck
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  • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
    How many of you have written a sales page, and not used the "Pain" technique.

    Did you ever use uplifting copy and never instill a fear of loss?
    There are some products/services where the "pain" approach doesn't make sense. For example, I have a vacation rental property in Maui that I put out on offer. People looking for a place to stay for a week or 10 days in Paradise are not in a mindset to be thinking about pain and problems - or their solutions. The way to get their attention and their money is through positive enticements - photos and word pictures that conjure up the specific pleasures they hope to have on vacation.

    Marcia Yudkin
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    • Profile picture of the author dorothydot
      Originally Posted by marciayudkin View Post

      There are some products/services where the "pain" approach doesn't make sense. For example, I have a vacation rental property in Maui that I put out on offer. People looking for a place to stay for a week or 10 days in Paradise are not in a mindset to be thinking about pain and problems - or their solutions. The way to get their attention and their money is through positive enticements - photos and word pictures that conjure up the specific pleasures they hope to have on vacation.

      Marcia Yudkin
      Hi Marcia,
      I think that, even in this lovely example, you could use a "hint" of the pain factor. How?

      Show the hum-drum day-to-day of cubical/office living: You go in, sit at the same old desk, check the same old To-Do list that never seems to be finished, meet with the same old people to discuss their problems (your problems don't count)... yadda, yadda.

      What would you think if instead, you woke to wonderful bright sunlight streaming in through your window - no alarm clock here! A quick glance outside showed you an unbelievably colorful landscape, full of palm trees, brilliant flowers and singing birds - with the Pacific Ocean as a backdrop... Now wouldn't that be Heaven!

      See what I'm doing? Paint a bleak picture of every-day living, then hit the reader with the glorious vacation you're promoting. That contrast surely makes your vacation setting hit your readers SMACK! in the face with their dream get-away.

      Dot
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      • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
        Dot,

        In theory, you are correct.

        In practice, I wouldn't do it. Why?

        1)People generally come to a vacation rental web site when they have already decided to take a vacation. They are interested in finding the best place for their needs and wants, not in deciding whether or not to escape whatever they want to escape. If I were selling a package vacation, it would be quite different and I would want to sell them on taking the vacation in the first place.

        2)Appealing to particular pains in this case limits your appeal. For Maui, a big part of the market is retirees. Another big part of the market is couples with young children. They have next to nothing in common in the "pains" they are trying to escape. People are much more similar in what they want for their vacation in paradise than in the lives they are temporarily leaving behind.

        3)You could argue that people come to Maui for the most part to escape winter. However, that is true seasonally only. It would be a pain in the neck to have to rewrite your web site every season - or have it work for only one season of the year.

        Cheers,
        Marcia Yudkin
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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    The infliction of pain should be a REMINDER, at most. Just enough to get them to pay attention to the solution you're about to offer.

    If you keep harping on the negatives, you're going to either lose them because you give no hope, or it's a market thriving on the negative (not my preferred kind of market).

    That said, when we're really talking some real pain (think constant back pain day and night), of course it makes sense to wrap it all around it. But even then, the sense of relief is more important to get across.
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