6 replies
A while ago I posted my sales page and you guys blasted it I'll need to write a new sales page in the next few days for a new product, and before doing that, I'd like to have your feedback on one sales page I rewrote with a better structure.

Sexual Magnetism - Spark Sexual Attraction with Authentic Women

As the objective of a sales page is to be self-explanatory, I won't explain it any further.

Thanks!
#page #review #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Robert Brauer
    Try adding some more sub-heads to break up the text. After the first few paragraphs there is a long block of text (which is a light grey, kind of hard to read). Also, work on the contrast of the page - a lot of it is hard to read...
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  • Profile picture of the author jtunkelo
    It's not THAT bad. But before you can even expect people to read and/or critique it, try making it more readable. The light gray font is hard on the eyes, and the lack ot subheads, bullets and other things that give the reader some rhythm.

    Your headline needs work. You're assuming too much. All you need is to identify what the people in this market want, and hint at a powerful solution. Also, I'm guessing when people think about sexuality they don't think about being 'fulfilled' or 'abundant' - this is the lizard brain's territory. So think about that when you choose your power words...
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  • Profile picture of the author The Niche Man
    My first impression as a reader is what do you want me to do first? There's
    a lot of choices on the page. Newsletter on the right, navigation bar at the top (more choices). Long sales letter(another choice) .

    With most people, depending on who you talk to, you only have about 10 seconds to get them to commit to reading something on your page. If you give too many choices people's attention will simply short circuit and click away.

    Try to move some of the distractions and try to usher people into doing the one thing you want them to do - above all else. As a prospect with a problem, when I click on this page I should know without a doubt the first thing you want me to do to solve that problem. Why? Because you've given me no other choice.

    To Your Success!
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