Review and critique my salespage please? Christmas Burnout has me in it's grip! (Updated)
Hi!
I just finished writing and putting up a sales letter on a Christmas product and am just burnt out by doing the entire job solo! (Writing the product & salesletter, doing technical & marketing...)
I believe I've become an IM gadget that plugs into my computer
I've just begun promoting the salespage and conversion rates seem to be less than 2%....
Would be deeply eternally grateful to anyone who can give me any tips to improve it!
Meaningful Christmas Gifts --- Update!
Present moment: Since everyone told me I had to seriously change the copy, I've written the following sales letter as per Kevin Riley's PCL course. I'd love to know what you all think about it/any changes I should make to it before I upload it?
(Don't know how to create sub-headings..any tips?)
Thanks so much!!
Lakshmi
(Introduction)
Have you been searching for ways to give unique Christmas gifts that are truly tokens of love?
You see, I've always wanted to give my loved ones Christmas gifts from the heart. Something they'd never get from anyone else. Gifts they'd treasure because of the thoughtfulness and love that went into it and wonderful holiday experiences where you made those special memories that last a lifetime. To get them feeling so cherished and loved that they'd call it 'The Best Christmas Ever'
(Problem)
But let's face it! It's hard not to get sucked in into the commercialism surrounding Christmas. I'd start the holiday season determined to focus on truly meaningful Christmas gifts and experiences.Then my mother would call asking for the kid's wish lists, they'd be gift shopping to do, decorations to buy, the special Christmas dinner to plan for and a hundred and one other things to finish. Before I knew it, I'd be off, zooming on the holiday express train rushing around in a frenzy, buying more and more in my efforts to make Christmas 'special' for everyone.
If you are like me, you've probably spent 'the most wonderful time of the year' jostled by crowds of bargain shoppers racing for discount offers or waited for hours at the end of a long queue at the cash register for your turn just to buy one gift. Perhaps you've driven through horrendous traffic that just won't quit and marched bravely into store after store to locate that 'must have' gadget too. You've probably ended up spending more than you planned and being so busy just doing things all day long that you miss out on the holiday spirit entirely or experience brief flashes of it here and there.
You know what? I've been in the same boat too. Instead of having an incredible Christmas full of heart-warming moments and joyful laughter shared with people who are dear to me, I've just felt frustrated and exhausted from rushing through holiday sales, trying to make everything as perfect as possible - the tree, the food, the party, the decor, the gifts etc. I'd end up staggering through the holidays, over budget, overextended, stressed out and sleep deprived from trying to create 'Christmas magic'
The problem was that even inspite of doing all this, I'd still feel like I was missing out on the essence of Christmas.
(Describe ideal and Increase Tension)
Now don't get me wrong! I love Christmas! I'm enchanted by the smells, sounds and sights of the whole season. I just wanted it to be more meaningful too! To feel the warm glow that comes from spending time with loved ones doing fun things together and feeling more closer. To create wonderful Christmas traditions together that everyone could cherish; that would bring a joyful smile to their faces everytime they thought about them. To have more time with the people I cared about, celebrating and rejoicing in the love present in our lives, sharing and giving gifts of ourselves in truly meaningful ways.
The sad truth was -- That this Christmas spirit was ultimately lacking in my perfect Christmas! My kids began to have more of a 'gimme' attitude rather than a giving one when it came to presents at Christmas time. In the whole, rush my gift-giving became more about checking boxes for an ever-lengthening list of people rather than giving them real expressions of my affection and appreciation. Even if we did 'share' with others, it didn't go beyond short-term generosities. My loved ones and I had totally lost sight of the reason for the season and had been swept away by the glamour and glitter of Christmas commercialism.
(Solution)
That was until we decided to spend Christmas with Katie's family.
Katie, my newest sister-in-law, had invited us to spend Christmas two years ago with her family and we agreed. Her grandfather Ted, a sprightly man in his early seventies, ushered us in with a booming hello and cups of hot chocolate. The next thing he said was a total surprise--
"You've got to make a couple of 'Speaking Christmas Dinner Angels' now.'"
My kids and I spent the next ten minutes, writing down angel tasks and thoughts on little pieces of paper, putting them individually in red and green balloons and tied them up with long curly ribbons. Ted, taped these balloons to the other ones on the ceiling, right above the dinner table. After we'd enjoyed a scrumptious dinner, we all took turns pulling down the 'Christmas dinner angels', popping them by jumping or sitting on them and finding out the angels instructions! These ranged from giving a hug to the person in front to recalling the most special event that happened to the person that year and many other fun tasks too.
We were all helpless with laughter by the time the last angel had 'spoken', but the best Christmas I'd ever experienced was only just beginning! It was time for everyone to open their gifts -- Ted got a very creative Grandpa-Poly game put together by some of his grandchildren that reflected his love of good food! Not only did Grandpa-Poly money have his face on it, but the game board had all his favorite restaurants he could buy and sell, with wild cards that sent him to the freezer or rewarded him his favorite dishes!
I have to admit--I was blown away by the love and thought that was poured into every gift. None of them cost a lot of money, but they were truly priceless because they meant so much to the person getting them. I fell in love with the Christmas traditions and gift-giving goals that Katie's family had made for themselves.
The good news was, that Katie and Ted were willing to sit down and help me come up with heartwarming gift-giving ideas and beautiful christmas traditions that would help me create true 'Christmas magic' for my family. Ted also helped me come with delightful ideas to get kids to develop a true Christmas spirit too.
(Product introduction)
You're going to love what comes next! I was so excited by all of these magical ideas that I put it into a fantastic little book for everyone to use --"Creative Gifts of Love:Creating Christmas Traditions That Last A Lifetime."
(Product content)
This book contains 82 heartwarming ways to create one-of-a-kind traditions while giving your family and friends truly priceless gifts that include
1) Gifts of Togetherness - How to create Christmas magic with festive activities for the whole family ____on page
2) Gifts of Love/Self - Discover exciting ways to give your loved ones thoughtful gifts of 'You' ____on page
3) Gifts For Loved Ones Far Away - Strategies to celebrate Christmas with faraway relatives and stay connected____on page
4) Gifts of Gratitude/Appreciation - How to give your dear ones the 'warm fuzzies' ____on page
5) Gifts For the Neighborhood - Find out how to make bosom buddies out of all your neighbors! ____on page
6) Gift Ideas for Kids - Eliminate the 'Gimme' attitude in your kids and instill a giving spirit ____on page
7) Ideas for putting Christ back into Christmas - Put Christ back in the forefront of your celebrations. ____on page
And there's More!
If you are ready to give your loved ones gifts and memories they'll go all teary-eyed over then Get your Copy of the book here now
(Benefits)
I've designed this book with simply the best ideas I know to help you
Instantly save on time because you know exactly what to do to give your loved ones a genuinely unforgettable Christmas experience. You don't have to waste hours of your time scouring the internet searching for ideas or trying to come up with original ideas -- just get ready to pick out and implement the ones you find interesting here.
Impress your loved ones when you give them the kinds of presents that no one else would have thought of. Be a shining star this Christmas!
Surprise them with gifts of you by giving your loved ones, truly unique gifts that will delight them. Learn how to give the kind of gifts they'll always remember and treasure because you've put your love and yourself into them.
Discover easy ways to quickly put together truly meaningful Christmas gifts that are low-cost but rich in spirit.
Reduce your christmas expenses this year and discover how to design a Christmas that's a lot more memorable even with half your budget! Experience the relief that comes from knowing you won't have to spend a fortune to give your loved ones a truly wonderful Christmas experience.
Rejoice in feeling more loved when you forge stronger bonds with your dear ones, now that you have more time to spend with them.
Give gifts that keep on giving not only in the holiday season but throughout the rest of the year. Many of the ideas you'll find here will help you keep the holiday spirit of loving, giving and sharing going all year. Isn't that how you'd truly like to live?
Find out how to engage your loved ones in heart-warming holiday experiences that everyone will enjoy!
Avoid being stressed out by completely skipping the madness of the Christmas shopping rush! You don't have to frantically dash from store to store all through the holidays squeezing through crowds, searching for impressive gifts. Give even more outstanding gifts while staying relaxed this season.
Discover how to stay more connected and feel closer to to your family and friends even if their far away.
Create entrancing new traditions that don't come in a box! If your loved ones have fun doing something together, they'll want to do it again and again. Visualize how wonderful and reassuring it would be to create heart-warming traditions that create wonderful memories for everyone through the years.
Upgrade your Christmas planning skills by learning how to bring friends and family genuinely closer in any setting, with loving activities everyone can participate in..
Experience the comfort that comes from spending the holidays as they should be spent, with family and friends, enjoying their company and comfort of your home. Instead of being busy or occupied with small details you'll have the peace of mind to truly give attention to your loved ones
Establish long-lasting warm relationships with your neighbors and the people in your community easily.
Instill a giving spirit in your children by involving them in beautiful holiday traditions that teach them the value of being kind and compassionate. Find out how to get kids excited about 'giving' rather than just 'getting' every Christmas.
Radiate the true Christmas spirit this year by celebrating Christmas meaningfully by giving gifts from the heart and creating memories that everyone will cherish all their lives!
(How Product solves the problem/Build up value of book)
I've put every idea I've had about how to have a meaningful Christmas celebration and give the gifts that really matter into this book.
I strongly believe that a Christmas present is different from a gift given any other time of year because it's a token of great love -- It reflects the precious gift that was given to the world all those ages ago.
Isn't it slightly ridiculous to imitate that priceless gesture with an iPod? Most Christmas gifts are totally forgetable.
Think about it! Do you remember what you got for Christmas when you were 7 years old? If you are like me, you probably have no idea too! Toy trains, video games, dvd players will come and go.Unfortunately most of us often end up buying these kinds of gifts that no one will remember ten years down the line.
All the ideas I've put into 'Creative Gifts of Love' will help you to give truly priceless and meaningful gifts that your loved ones will always treasure -- Gifts of love, gratitude, appreciation, togetherness are true Christmas gifts -- They're unique, not returnable, nonrefundable and ultimately irreplacable. They've certainly helped me to have give truly memorable presents to the people I love and saved me from having to spend hundreds of dollars every Christmas!
I don't spend months working on a thoughtful one-of-a-kind gift either; these ideas are very easy to implement.
I don't rush through the holiday season any more, because I don't need to buy as much. I'm able to stay relaxed and spend real quality time with the people I love and enjoy the holidays celebrating life and each other. Most of the ideas we've tried out have made everyone feel so good about spending time together that we've repeated them again and again until they became enduring and much-loved traditions for us.
This year, you don't have to buy into the commercial Christmas that all the retailers sell or try to spot the love buried under a pile of Nintendo Wiis, designer perfumes and expensive jewelery, A delightful side benefit of giving meaningful gifts is that you don't have to go over the top in your Christmas spending and dig yourself into a deeper financial hole by buying on credit.
According to Consumer Reports, 6% of all shoppers are still carrying debt over from the LAST holiday season. With the low-to-no-cost ideas outlined in the book, you can truly give mind-blowing gifts on a tighter budget. If you're worried about 'cheaping out' at Christmas, just remember that your gifts will exemplify the true spirit of the season. We've been able to splurge on the holiday spirit even during difficult times when we had to cut down on our spending.
Not only will you have saved a lot money that you'd ordinarily have spent in gift-buying, you'll avoid being the victim of a commercial Christmas.
Most people long for a truly warmer Christmas celebration that's all about family, love and compassion rather than the presents, but have no clue how to bring it about. Even if they went online searching for ways to make that happen they might only come up with a handful of ideas they can actually use after hours of tiresome searching.
You however have at your hand 82 ways to instantly create a truly meaningful Christmas for everyone, showing you how to give the best kinds of Christmas gifts, saving you hundreds of dollars that you've have otherwise spent on gift hunts, helping you avoid the stress of holiday shopping while preserving your peace of mind and helping you to truly enjoy the Christmas season the way it should be enjoyed.
(Closing and call to action)
So how much is that worth?
Tis the season to be generous' and because I want everyone to be able to afford this ebook even during tough times and experience the true spirit of Christmas with the people they love, I've made the price a no-brainer.
You can get 'Creative Gifts of Love' for the absolute bargain price of only $10.
Click the order button now and you'll discover how to experience the best Christmas ever!
I just finished writing and putting up a sales letter on a Christmas product and am just burnt out by doing the entire job solo! (Writing the product & salesletter, doing technical & marketing...)
I believe I've become an IM gadget that plugs into my computer
I've just begun promoting the salespage and conversion rates seem to be less than 2%....
Would be deeply eternally grateful to anyone who can give me any tips to improve it!
Meaningful Christmas Gifts --- Update!
Present moment: Since everyone told me I had to seriously change the copy, I've written the following sales letter as per Kevin Riley's PCL course. I'd love to know what you all think about it/any changes I should make to it before I upload it?
(Don't know how to create sub-headings..any tips?)
Thanks so much!!
Lakshmi
(Introduction)
Have you been searching for ways to give unique Christmas gifts that are truly tokens of love?
You see, I've always wanted to give my loved ones Christmas gifts from the heart. Something they'd never get from anyone else. Gifts they'd treasure because of the thoughtfulness and love that went into it and wonderful holiday experiences where you made those special memories that last a lifetime. To get them feeling so cherished and loved that they'd call it 'The Best Christmas Ever'
(Problem)
But let's face it! It's hard not to get sucked in into the commercialism surrounding Christmas. I'd start the holiday season determined to focus on truly meaningful Christmas gifts and experiences.Then my mother would call asking for the kid's wish lists, they'd be gift shopping to do, decorations to buy, the special Christmas dinner to plan for and a hundred and one other things to finish. Before I knew it, I'd be off, zooming on the holiday express train rushing around in a frenzy, buying more and more in my efforts to make Christmas 'special' for everyone.
If you are like me, you've probably spent 'the most wonderful time of the year' jostled by crowds of bargain shoppers racing for discount offers or waited for hours at the end of a long queue at the cash register for your turn just to buy one gift. Perhaps you've driven through horrendous traffic that just won't quit and marched bravely into store after store to locate that 'must have' gadget too. You've probably ended up spending more than you planned and being so busy just doing things all day long that you miss out on the holiday spirit entirely or experience brief flashes of it here and there.
You know what? I've been in the same boat too. Instead of having an incredible Christmas full of heart-warming moments and joyful laughter shared with people who are dear to me, I've just felt frustrated and exhausted from rushing through holiday sales, trying to make everything as perfect as possible - the tree, the food, the party, the decor, the gifts etc. I'd end up staggering through the holidays, over budget, overextended, stressed out and sleep deprived from trying to create 'Christmas magic'
The problem was that even inspite of doing all this, I'd still feel like I was missing out on the essence of Christmas.
(Describe ideal and Increase Tension)
Now don't get me wrong! I love Christmas! I'm enchanted by the smells, sounds and sights of the whole season. I just wanted it to be more meaningful too! To feel the warm glow that comes from spending time with loved ones doing fun things together and feeling more closer. To create wonderful Christmas traditions together that everyone could cherish; that would bring a joyful smile to their faces everytime they thought about them. To have more time with the people I cared about, celebrating and rejoicing in the love present in our lives, sharing and giving gifts of ourselves in truly meaningful ways.
The sad truth was -- That this Christmas spirit was ultimately lacking in my perfect Christmas! My kids began to have more of a 'gimme' attitude rather than a giving one when it came to presents at Christmas time. In the whole, rush my gift-giving became more about checking boxes for an ever-lengthening list of people rather than giving them real expressions of my affection and appreciation. Even if we did 'share' with others, it didn't go beyond short-term generosities. My loved ones and I had totally lost sight of the reason for the season and had been swept away by the glamour and glitter of Christmas commercialism.
(Solution)
That was until we decided to spend Christmas with Katie's family.
Katie, my newest sister-in-law, had invited us to spend Christmas two years ago with her family and we agreed. Her grandfather Ted, a sprightly man in his early seventies, ushered us in with a booming hello and cups of hot chocolate. The next thing he said was a total surprise--
"You've got to make a couple of 'Speaking Christmas Dinner Angels' now.'"
My kids and I spent the next ten minutes, writing down angel tasks and thoughts on little pieces of paper, putting them individually in red and green balloons and tied them up with long curly ribbons. Ted, taped these balloons to the other ones on the ceiling, right above the dinner table. After we'd enjoyed a scrumptious dinner, we all took turns pulling down the 'Christmas dinner angels', popping them by jumping or sitting on them and finding out the angels instructions! These ranged from giving a hug to the person in front to recalling the most special event that happened to the person that year and many other fun tasks too.
We were all helpless with laughter by the time the last angel had 'spoken', but the best Christmas I'd ever experienced was only just beginning! It was time for everyone to open their gifts -- Ted got a very creative Grandpa-Poly game put together by some of his grandchildren that reflected his love of good food! Not only did Grandpa-Poly money have his face on it, but the game board had all his favorite restaurants he could buy and sell, with wild cards that sent him to the freezer or rewarded him his favorite dishes!
I have to admit--I was blown away by the love and thought that was poured into every gift. None of them cost a lot of money, but they were truly priceless because they meant so much to the person getting them. I fell in love with the Christmas traditions and gift-giving goals that Katie's family had made for themselves.
The good news was, that Katie and Ted were willing to sit down and help me come up with heartwarming gift-giving ideas and beautiful christmas traditions that would help me create true 'Christmas magic' for my family. Ted also helped me come with delightful ideas to get kids to develop a true Christmas spirit too.
(Product introduction)
You're going to love what comes next! I was so excited by all of these magical ideas that I put it into a fantastic little book for everyone to use --"Creative Gifts of Love:Creating Christmas Traditions That Last A Lifetime."
(Product content)
This book contains 82 heartwarming ways to create one-of-a-kind traditions while giving your family and friends truly priceless gifts that include
1) Gifts of Togetherness - How to create Christmas magic with festive activities for the whole family ____on page
2) Gifts of Love/Self - Discover exciting ways to give your loved ones thoughtful gifts of 'You' ____on page
3) Gifts For Loved Ones Far Away - Strategies to celebrate Christmas with faraway relatives and stay connected____on page
4) Gifts of Gratitude/Appreciation - How to give your dear ones the 'warm fuzzies' ____on page
5) Gifts For the Neighborhood - Find out how to make bosom buddies out of all your neighbors! ____on page
6) Gift Ideas for Kids - Eliminate the 'Gimme' attitude in your kids and instill a giving spirit ____on page
7) Ideas for putting Christ back into Christmas - Put Christ back in the forefront of your celebrations. ____on page
And there's More!
If you are ready to give your loved ones gifts and memories they'll go all teary-eyed over then Get your Copy of the book here now
(Benefits)
I've designed this book with simply the best ideas I know to help you
Instantly save on time because you know exactly what to do to give your loved ones a genuinely unforgettable Christmas experience. You don't have to waste hours of your time scouring the internet searching for ideas or trying to come up with original ideas -- just get ready to pick out and implement the ones you find interesting here.
Impress your loved ones when you give them the kinds of presents that no one else would have thought of. Be a shining star this Christmas!
Surprise them with gifts of you by giving your loved ones, truly unique gifts that will delight them. Learn how to give the kind of gifts they'll always remember and treasure because you've put your love and yourself into them.
Discover easy ways to quickly put together truly meaningful Christmas gifts that are low-cost but rich in spirit.
Reduce your christmas expenses this year and discover how to design a Christmas that's a lot more memorable even with half your budget! Experience the relief that comes from knowing you won't have to spend a fortune to give your loved ones a truly wonderful Christmas experience.
Rejoice in feeling more loved when you forge stronger bonds with your dear ones, now that you have more time to spend with them.
Give gifts that keep on giving not only in the holiday season but throughout the rest of the year. Many of the ideas you'll find here will help you keep the holiday spirit of loving, giving and sharing going all year. Isn't that how you'd truly like to live?
Find out how to engage your loved ones in heart-warming holiday experiences that everyone will enjoy!
Avoid being stressed out by completely skipping the madness of the Christmas shopping rush! You don't have to frantically dash from store to store all through the holidays squeezing through crowds, searching for impressive gifts. Give even more outstanding gifts while staying relaxed this season.
Discover how to stay more connected and feel closer to to your family and friends even if their far away.
Create entrancing new traditions that don't come in a box! If your loved ones have fun doing something together, they'll want to do it again and again. Visualize how wonderful and reassuring it would be to create heart-warming traditions that create wonderful memories for everyone through the years.
Upgrade your Christmas planning skills by learning how to bring friends and family genuinely closer in any setting, with loving activities everyone can participate in..
Experience the comfort that comes from spending the holidays as they should be spent, with family and friends, enjoying their company and comfort of your home. Instead of being busy or occupied with small details you'll have the peace of mind to truly give attention to your loved ones
Establish long-lasting warm relationships with your neighbors and the people in your community easily.
Instill a giving spirit in your children by involving them in beautiful holiday traditions that teach them the value of being kind and compassionate. Find out how to get kids excited about 'giving' rather than just 'getting' every Christmas.
Radiate the true Christmas spirit this year by celebrating Christmas meaningfully by giving gifts from the heart and creating memories that everyone will cherish all their lives!
(How Product solves the problem/Build up value of book)
I've put every idea I've had about how to have a meaningful Christmas celebration and give the gifts that really matter into this book.
I strongly believe that a Christmas present is different from a gift given any other time of year because it's a token of great love -- It reflects the precious gift that was given to the world all those ages ago.
Isn't it slightly ridiculous to imitate that priceless gesture with an iPod? Most Christmas gifts are totally forgetable.
Think about it! Do you remember what you got for Christmas when you were 7 years old? If you are like me, you probably have no idea too! Toy trains, video games, dvd players will come and go.Unfortunately most of us often end up buying these kinds of gifts that no one will remember ten years down the line.
All the ideas I've put into 'Creative Gifts of Love' will help you to give truly priceless and meaningful gifts that your loved ones will always treasure -- Gifts of love, gratitude, appreciation, togetherness are true Christmas gifts -- They're unique, not returnable, nonrefundable and ultimately irreplacable. They've certainly helped me to have give truly memorable presents to the people I love and saved me from having to spend hundreds of dollars every Christmas!
I don't spend months working on a thoughtful one-of-a-kind gift either; these ideas are very easy to implement.
I don't rush through the holiday season any more, because I don't need to buy as much. I'm able to stay relaxed and spend real quality time with the people I love and enjoy the holidays celebrating life and each other. Most of the ideas we've tried out have made everyone feel so good about spending time together that we've repeated them again and again until they became enduring and much-loved traditions for us.
This year, you don't have to buy into the commercial Christmas that all the retailers sell or try to spot the love buried under a pile of Nintendo Wiis, designer perfumes and expensive jewelery, A delightful side benefit of giving meaningful gifts is that you don't have to go over the top in your Christmas spending and dig yourself into a deeper financial hole by buying on credit.
According to Consumer Reports, 6% of all shoppers are still carrying debt over from the LAST holiday season. With the low-to-no-cost ideas outlined in the book, you can truly give mind-blowing gifts on a tighter budget. If you're worried about 'cheaping out' at Christmas, just remember that your gifts will exemplify the true spirit of the season. We've been able to splurge on the holiday spirit even during difficult times when we had to cut down on our spending.
Not only will you have saved a lot money that you'd ordinarily have spent in gift-buying, you'll avoid being the victim of a commercial Christmas.
Most people long for a truly warmer Christmas celebration that's all about family, love and compassion rather than the presents, but have no clue how to bring it about. Even if they went online searching for ways to make that happen they might only come up with a handful of ideas they can actually use after hours of tiresome searching.
You however have at your hand 82 ways to instantly create a truly meaningful Christmas for everyone, showing you how to give the best kinds of Christmas gifts, saving you hundreds of dollars that you've have otherwise spent on gift hunts, helping you avoid the stress of holiday shopping while preserving your peace of mind and helping you to truly enjoy the Christmas season the way it should be enjoyed.
(Closing and call to action)
So how much is that worth?
Tis the season to be generous' and because I want everyone to be able to afford this ebook even during tough times and experience the true spirit of Christmas with the people they love, I've made the price a no-brainer.
You can get 'Creative Gifts of Love' for the absolute bargain price of only $10.
Click the order button now and you'll discover how to experience the best Christmas ever!
William Cato
Sit Down, Have A Cup Of Coffee
and read my blog http://www.2ultra.com
follow me on Twitter
www.twitter.com/wrcato
xResponsive Advertising Agency | Direct Marketing | Online Advertising | Create Breakthrough Campaigns for Your Business http://xresponsive.com
POWER LETTERS Get Offline Appointments
These Email Templates Land You Great Clients!