Squeeze Page Review?

I find it confusing and I dont believe your telling the truth.

You need to build belief, credibility and be clearer with your message. I found your bullet confusing. Looks like its off to a good start, keep improving it.

All in all, not bad. I would change a few points, though.

On the name/e-mail address field you say:

We all hate spam. Your private information will not be rent, sold, or given away in any fashion.

I'd end it with: "for any reason" instead of "in any fasion".

Put a space between the words (in your third bullet) "frontpage". That's a program, not a physical location.

I'm glad you repeated the opt-in box again at the bottom of the page. Your copy compels you to go below the fold, so good going on offering it again, instead of making your reader scroll back up to opt-in.

Your whole OPT-IN page ALMOST fits the fold without scrolling... so make that happen.

Get rid of the second opt in box below, its useless, the only time you need that is if you add more INFO and the reader needs to be reminded of the optin. In your case, its unnecessary.

Also get rid of the extra space at the top and push everything up so that the line "All wraped up" is visible right at the bottom without scrolling.

And your title "Discover the most powerful ways..." Im sure that can be shortened. You can just say "Learn how to send hordes of traffic..."

IMO it's just as effective, but more experienced copywrites on this forum can help you with wordsmithing.

Contact Rob, hes very good.

Cheers!

Alright.

I've made a few changes.

Any better? Or worse?

Up near the top, force the line break after "Mouths", not "Marketers'".

I didn't really see anything unique about your offer. It seems to use the same words (massive, dominate, etc) that all the rest use. It makes the same bold promises (which, respectfully, I found a bit unbelievable [which raised the issue of credibilty to me, but that's a whole 'nuther issue]).

There was nothing there that made it stand out from a dozen other similar offers I've seen in the last week. I think you need something to make it stand out. Dancing girls, a catchy phrase, lively visuals, something. It needs to be noticed and remembered. Otherwise, it's just another "me, too."

Oh, the domain name. perfectarticlemarketing.com doesn't really fit the subject of your offer. If you want to keep your offer in that domain, I'd suggest a subdirectory with a more pointed moniker. Maybe www.perfectarticlemarketing.com/traffic-hordes or something. You could always get a unique domain and redirect it to the subdirectory, too.

Best of luck with it. - Russ

Hi Jesse,

Try this - put up another version of the page to split test against the current one, and on this new one put your six best benefit bullets on the left hand side in list form, tweak your headline a little and then put the optin form on the right hand side of the page so the visitor doesn't have to scroll at all.

I'm pretty sure that will beat your current optin figures.

Hope that helps

David.

Thanks for all of the feedback, everyone.

I think I've got a version a like the best thus far. Let me know what you think!

If you know how to add audio or video telling people what they are going to get for opting in.

That has always boosted my opt in rate.