A Great First Line For Some Copy

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"The first thing I want you to do is close your eyes."

Yup. I peeped this in a sales letter. It made me laugh and sad at the same time. Am I over-thinking that? Might such an odd command actually work?
#copywriting #copy #great #line
  • 'ya what ... I think it would work (depending on the market).

    Of course, if they close their eyes they can't read the rest of your letter
    • [1] reply
    • Yeah, exactly, so why would you tell them to do it?
      • [1] reply
  • This could actually be a great ice breaker when writing copy intended to be published in braille.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • This approach isn't very good. Forget the wording, it's like "breaking the fourth wall."

    It establishes that this scenario, story, situation, or whatever comes next, is fiction. That is not a good thing to telegraph. It is a setup for failure of what comes next, because there is a very good chance the reader will regard what comes next as incredible fiction.

    Not a story that could happen in real life.

    Have a story? Then get to it. If you're any good at storytelling, the reader will know it is indeed a story or dream or idealized scenario. Your aim is turning the dream or whatever into reality through action.

    That becomes increasingly difficult when moved a level of abstraction away with "dream," or "imagine." There are better techniques which avoid the pitfalls.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
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