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Thank you for your feedback!

by blindedodin
9 replies
My sales page is here: Save Thousands of Marketing Dollars - And Get More Customers Than Ever!!

Before I dump much $ into driving traffic, I was hoping to get some solid feedback from the experts here. (i welcome honest and painful)

I am planning to start with linked in ads, as i have a credit there and can target chiropractors. (I know its expensive)

What would you change about the copy itself, and how would you drive traffic?

Thanks!

James
#feedback
  • Profile picture of the author MatthewNeer
    You should throw in a sexy graphic of the product in there man. That will seriously help ya out.

    You can build your own here: eBook Cover Creator - eCover Design Online Free | MyEcoverMaker.com

    BOSS!
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    New FREE Website Builds Your List
    And Earns From 3 Income Streams
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    • Profile picture of the author blindedodin
      Where is an ideal place on the page to place it?
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      Boy am I grateful...

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      • Profile picture of the author andrewkar
        Hi

        I'm not an expert but I can see a lot of "I" everywhere around.

        For example:

        "I have invested tens of thousands of dollars to learn what I'm going to teach you in this DVD. I invested months and months and months of my life searching for, testing, and collecting the secrets I'm going to share with you here. Lucky for you, you don't need to wait that long! Now I'm going to be honest"

        Isn't there too much of "I"?
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        Do what you want to do!
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        • Profile picture of the author MRMagMark
          I'd change the subhead "I Know What You Need" to something that is more focused on the reader and uses some type of emotional trigger. Such as "You'll Be Holding The Keys To Incredible Marketing Secrets Only The Pros Know!!" Or something along those lines.

          You have some great triggers to work with - frustration and greed. I know I love secrets and when something is positioned in such a way that makes me feel like I'm learning insider tricks, bam! I love it!

          As for the graphic, I'd place one below the guarantee and one below the last buy button.

          There is a free eCover creator around, not sure what the finished product will look like but you may want to try: http"colon"//3d-pack"dot"com

          Whoever created it does have a donate button at the top. You can create eBook covers and also CD and DVD boxes.

          ETA: Holy Moly... you've been thanked 4,294,967,295 in 16 posts? Now that's a secret I'd be interesting in learning!

          ETA2: I'm still learning my way around this forum. It seems high number is how often YOU thanked people. At any rate, still a "wow!"
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          • Profile picture of the author blindedodin
            @MrMagMark - I have no idea how i got all those thanks... think its a bug somewhere...

            @everyone - I used the ecover maker Mathew suggested, with some "fancy" text effects by me in photoshop... eBook Cover Creator - eCover Design Online Free | MyEcoverMaker.com

            have made a few other small changes as suggested and am advertising on linked in ... will update this thread with progress

            thanks for all your help!
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            Boy am I grateful...

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  • Profile picture of the author Ashley Pearson
    Sexy covers, yay!
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  • Profile picture of the author tk226
    Please test the following for correction.

    then got more customers than ever...

    Order
    now to find out....

    I think, Hi, is not needed

    most people pay a lot for internet marketing

    to get people more customers,

    and if you wanted to you could spend.
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    www.latestnames.com
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  • Profile picture of the author lometogo
    James,

    Found a few typo/grammar errors I'd suggest correcting:

    Capitalize "I" in interenet marketing? --- I'd make it lower case
    Do nothing 'different'? --- I'd choose differently
    Special Bonus #2: --- change 'setup' to set up
    Special Bonus #3: --- change 'rocketing' to rocket
    PS, maybe add a colon -- also change 'permit me use' to permit me TO use..

    Looks good; best of luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    If you expect that page to sell a $250 product, you're dreaming.

    There's no meat there. It's not well-written. You have no credibility. I don't even really know exactly how your product will help.

    You've got maybe 5 pages of copy there. Quadruple that and you might have enough space to say everything that needs to be said.

    Finally, $249 for a DVD is ludicrous... especially if you don't have the name and reputation to back it up.

    You either need to spend a lot more time studying how to write copy... or hire a professional. Copywriting, like many skills, is NOT easy and is not learned overnight. It takes years.

    -Daniel
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    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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