New Sales Page - Would Love Some Comments

Interesting, I'm all for outrageous claims but will people buy "instant" piano skills?

Also, with the audio, good idea but if you could have some, even one example of a student's playing after 12 days, then use that and make the reader aware that it's a customer after 12 days of learning?

Hey Shayman,

Overall, great site... First of all, definitely put the headline in quotes, I've found that's gotten higher conversions for literally all my clients, for some reason, people think it's more official if it's in quotes. I know it's overused, but it's tried and true. Lol, some things are just like that. Second of all, the claim is outrageous, and discredits you right off the bat, it's not really intriguing either, because people know you can't wave a wand over them, and make them piano masters. I see the angle you we're going for though, was a good idea.

Also, get rid of the stuff at the top, because you want the page to gently guide your buyers down the page and through the sales process with ease. A bunch of buttons at the top, is immediately going to distract them, and have them scouring all over the site, before they leave... Especially the "Buy Now" you don't want to ask your audience to whip out their visa card and pay you $17 for it, before you've built any value into it...

The magic wand there, thought it looks nice, takes up a TON of your prime selling space (which is above the fold, because that's where you need to capture your viewers attention and then hold it), and on top of that, it serves absolutely no purpose in closing the deal.

The music is nice, but it's very loud, and intrusive when you just visit the site, it shouldn't play automatically... that could cause people to click away, especially if they're say, listening to music while they surf (which a lot of them will be, naturally, since they're music lovers). lol

Also, you have 3 headlines there.. and then go straight into bullet points before you start to actually have a conversation with your viewers... I'd stick with ONE headline, and AT MOST, a sub-head under it, and THEN go directly into talking with your viewer... without any more than a few bullet points below the headline, because it feels too much like you're "selling" them, the way it is right now... and people don't want to be sold, they just want you to gently let them know what is best for them.

Lastly, the price is a bit low... especially going from $67 to $17? ... You might be better off increasing the price, because if the product is as good as you say it is, then it should be worth a lot more. Remember, Samantha, perceived value is King.

I hope that helps, if you have any other questions, feel free to shoot me a PM, I'd be glad to help.

If people are telling you claims are far fetched, then that signals a serious problem. Those people won't buy until and unless you make the claims credible. They don't have the product yet ...if it sounds far fetched, it is far fetched. NO SALE.

The problem is credibility versus far fetched claims.


"All the piano training courses out there teach you to be a classical pianist. That's a decade long path of frustration and nonstop practice.

"Our course teaches you the shorthand notation musicians use when they have to play a gig in an hour and have never seen the music they're about to play.


You don't communicate the reason why it is easy. That means -- to the reader -- you are contradicting their entire (albeit outsider) world view of piano. Many of your potential customers may have had piano lessons, and they know precisely how difficult it was.

Until you lead the reader throught the "reason why," your sales will be poor.

As already mentioned you have credibility issues with your claims of instant proficiency. That lack of credibility is even compounded with the magic wand thingy. For what it is, your presentation is pretty well done.

What's interesting is, people want to believe instant skill is possible. So you'll probably get sales based on this thing appearing to be so easy. And, you'll end up with pissed off customers when they find out that learning to play the piano, like any worthwhile skill, takes dedication and practice.

There is no magic wand for certain skills. There are people with natural aptitude that will learn quicker than others but in the final analysis, being good at anything worthwhile takes work. Good luck.

Shayman - just a couple of quick observations.

You don't have a headline - the 2 at the top that you offer, at best, should just be the beginning sentences of a paragraph - or maybe the title of an article, although I imagine most article writers would scrub them as well.

The whole flow of the letter will be confusing to the reader - testimonials, to bullets, to testimonials, to copy, to testimonials, etc.

Lastly, and most important, I predict almost no sales, if any, and here's why. You've basically took the letter and turned it into a squeeze page at the bottom by offering a free course - what do you think the first thing any reader will do? I guess they'll simply sign up for the freebie - what was the point of trying to sell anything?

It's a very interesting concept - if sold properly, you should be able to do well with it to your targeted audience.

@shayman - well, I guess if this beats any previous controls, and wins in your split testing, then "Let It Be". (A little pun )

I think you should buy my course!! You'll love it and you may be a budding Elton John, you never know until you try!! haha.

How was my sales pitch!