Help Me Beat My Squeeze Page Control

Here's my honest advice - pay someone. Look we can all make suggestions but with no money interest most people really don't care how good or bad you do.

But if cash is on the line or worse reputation - then that changes things.

Here's another problem with free - no commitment from you. I mean it cost you nothing so you don't have any reason to follow through or do what we say because if you don't it cost you ... zero.

Pay an expert homie and you'll be glad you did.

Well, perhaps I am the eternal optimist. I give a lot of free advice on this forum. Am I being so ridiculous that I feel there may be someone out there willing to do the same?

I don't think I am. I have received great advice here in the past. And when it is time to spend money it is them who I will go to! (I would mention names but it may harm later negotiations lol)

Isn't this the true meaning of a forum, to share information and not just to tout for business?

Anyway, right at the beginning of my OP I said it wasn't an option right now and I feel the thread has digressed into stating the obvious.

Opinion duly noted Tim. I don't disagree with it at all. Let's move on now.

Hey Copy Assassin. Thanks for some great ideas!

The reason I was focusing on price was just because mine are so much better than everyone elses. I thought I would catch people who have been quoted higher by another company and are at the point where they are ready to buy and looking for a cheaper deal.

Now you mention it though this is probably not so great for my CTR. I think your right!

I am going to come up with a few variations based on your suggestion (just the fact you have focused my mind in this direction has opened a floodgate of ideas for me).

I am definitely interested in hearing more ideas. Sending you a PM now

Hell.... i just wanna know how you're advertising on adwords with a squeeze page.

i cant get anything approved on there

Whats the legality of stating a $15k raise? All earning data I have is from a third party company that surveys salaries. Isnt saying someone will get a 15k raise just pulling a number out of a hat?

My take on all this:

First, I'm distracted and annoyed by the giant "Course Consultants" logo at the top. Part of me wonders, "why do I need a consultant?" Part of me thinks, "I just want the course and the certification. The last thing I need is some long-winded discourse on how to train like I'm pretty sure I'll get from a consultant..."

It's your brand, and that's fine. But this isn't the place for branding. A squeeze page is a place to get your message to hit hard, quick, and without distraction. Minimize or ditch the logo.

Second, I don't like the intro graphic/headline. "Interactive MCSE Training and Exam Prep Just $39 a Month!" It looks like a button, so I wanted to click it. But worse, it looks like a sales pitch. Which I'm not in favor of to begin with, but if you are coming right out and saying it -- BUY THIS FROM ME! -- then why isn't there a way to buy it from you? All I see is a place to get more information? Nightmare.

Third, I don't like the actual headline. Doesn't grab me. Doesn't interest me. Doesn't compel me. I get that you don't want to offer them a raise you can't promise. But you do seem willing to bandy numbers about a little bit. How about something like...

"The Average MCSE Holder Earns $50,859-$108,563...What Are You Earning Without Yours?"

That would qualify your audience (mostly of interest to working professionals without a MCSE, who are earning less than that), and get them interested in what you have to say. It would put your most compelling argument ("buying from me will make you more money") where it'll do you the most good.

You could keep your current headline as deck copy, under the headline, and use that to bring in the newbies. A simple, "We can help you get MCSE certified quickly and easily...no matter how much (or how little) experience you have."

Fourth, your bullets are "half way to done." What I mean is, they don't pass the "so what?" test. They give you features, not benefits.

- Covers Windows Servers 2000, 2003, & 2008.

Ok, but what does that do for ME?

- Be essential in any business environment. Certification training in Windows Servers 2000, 2003, & 2008 means you're ready to administer your company's system whether it's up to date...or out of date.

Maybe "administer" isn't the right word there, but presumably you know the correct one. Design, maintain, tweak, whatever.

How about,

- Easy "No Contract" subscription plans let you study only what's relevant to YOU...cancel any time, for any reason. You won't get stuck paying for material you don't need.

Your bullets are all kind of like that. They take me half way, then give me no reason to drool over the prospect of filling out that little form.

I clicked. I'm interested. I want to drool. I want to sign up. Give me that last push. Right now, your elements all kind of fall short of giving me that little extra oomph.

Wow....

I am speechless! Last week I felt confused and out of ideas (I have actually completely re-done copy and design of this landing page more times than I would care to admit). Today I am all guns blazing and have a good idea of what needs to be done. This is because of the excellent advice given to me in this thread.

@AG Hohwald - Thank you for taking the time to thoroughly assess and provide such a detailed an expert critique. Not only have I read it several times but I have taken it on board. I will be making changes based on this.

@Mr Subtle - You are the graphic design God! Been following your posts for a long time now since the old copywriting forum. I actually tried to find a way to get a picture of a good looking girl onto the page but couldn't work out how to make it fit in. I like your re-design. I am going to steal this layout

Plan of Action

Right, so now it's time to put this all together into my control beater. In addition to the superb advice in this thread I have been looking at existing squeeze page templates that claim to have high conversions (found a great video from ryan deiss, forward it to 10 minutes in to see stuff about squeeze pages - The Anatomy of a Perfect Squeeze Page Template | Digital Marketer).

I have come to a few conclusions. "More Information" is not a compelling enough reason for someone to put their details in. I am going to collate the information I have written regarding the certification into a "Certification Guide". Then on the landing page I am not going to mention my training system or prices at all, just all the benefits and reasons why someone should be MCSE certified. This should hopefully mean I dont come across pitchy and scare people off.

Then hopefully they want to find out the "quickest and easiest" way to get MCSE certified and get the raise they want. This should prompt them to download the free guide which explains all the long winded information that would otherwise distract from the CTA if I had it on page. I will have to have some unique information on the landing page to make it complient with Google adwords but that shouldnt be a problem.

I am then going to use Mr Subtles design for my follow up sales page and replace the "more info" form with a "Start Now" button that transfers them to my subscription signup page.

Going to get the coffee on the go and get this done! I'll post the mock-up as soon as I finish it.

Thanks again.

PS. If I am going in a tangent in the wrong direction please feel free to say

Coffee drunk... Mission accomplished... *yawn*

I tried to blend the Ryan Deiss squeeze page and adwords landing page styles I saw in that video. Now that I am offering a free report it looks a lot more like the IM sites that Google hates so I have added a lot more info to the page so that it will get accepted. "More Info" and "Free Report" are two entirely different beasts over at Google.

On this page I have removed the pitch and just talked about the benefits. I can then follow up with a pitch on the sales page and via email after they get the report.

I did the thing Ryan Deiss said of putting white text on dark background under the opt in box so as not to detract from it. Not sure if it matters but I thought what the hell.

I also made a series of pictures along the "eye path" so that people who don't want to read can skim through this and get the gist.

It's now less of a squeeze page and more conforming with what adwords want their landing pages to be like (hopefully might improve my quality score also).

Anyway here is the mockup. Its not exported, I just put an image put together in graphic design app. I also did all writing in the graphic app so there are probably lots of spelling mistakes that will get picked up when I export it into proper website format.

Untitled Document

Hopefully I got the essence of the advice given and the result is an improvement. Let me know what you think.

Off to sleep now, nite nite

Any opinions on the updated design?

Here is the link again ---> Untitled Document