Thank you Alex, Keep EM' coming!!!

You've got the making of a great sales letter there because of the credibility and video demonstrations.

We can still make it stronger though...here's how

Bring the "As Seen On Tv" and Discovery Channel image top left or at least top centre
because it's a credibility and authority device which we want to be seen

Knock out a readers negative thoughts about their limitations which will prevent them using
your method, like "I'm small, I'm weak, I'm not fit, don't like exercise, I'm a woman"

Would take out the "membership benefits" headline below the first video because it's
too early to introduce what you've got...it's about them first.

I would talk why your reality based training is necessary compared against martial arts and those used in
cage fights. Since they are all based in a controlled environment but are useless when it comes to space restrictions, obstacles and weapons you come across in real life situations.

Then there is life threatening fear taking control...once again how you handle these situations.

Hit home the need for reality based combat skills in the most life threatening situations.

And of course point out where yours are used where others won't cut it.

Do it before you introduce the free training videos

Are you loaded up with an ongoing series of emails?

If you are, then I would go with the easiest option for the reader to take and get his/her free training videos.

I would give more emphasis on what's in the free video lessons...if your number one action requirement is to give you their email address.

If you want the sale from this page then there are 2 things to fix around the order button which often gets a 25% bump in sales.

Now you've got something kicking it!

Best,
Ewen

I will listen to what Alex said.

Along with that...

Use a bigger and catchy font for the header.

Use a regular and readable font for the subsequent paragraphs.

Use a better layout for the whole sales page (my personal opinion).

Guys,

Thank you very much for the critique so far. For those of you who made it to the site and didn't write anything, please do so! We could use all the help we can get from you good people.

One dilemma we had when putting up the site, is which should we go for:

the mailing list sign up?

or the paying conversion?

any feedback regarding this would help me get in the right direction and probably focus the page much more than it is now.