Where it says "here are the biggest myths about what women want," bring that up to the top.

You need to immediately start giving the guys you're talking to something of substance. Right now, it's not there.

Save your introduction for after you've really hooked them.

Rewrite your introduction too.

The "humbly" line made me cringe.

What is the biggest reason people should listen to you? Start with that!

Get rid of the stuff before your headline.

Your headline will convert better with something that doesn't make guys think: "Former Security Manager Reveals An Exclusive, Tried & True, Easy-to-Follow Method That Gets YOU Laid!"

The copy is very cool... I'm almost sold

Quick thoughts...

1. There are a thousand seduction products. What makes yours better or different?

2. Are you teaching guys to pick up girls or be good in bed? Although they're related, I don't think they belong in the same product.

3. The story comes across as overwritten and melodramatic... and also as complete bull****. It also misses the point of what a good story does (makes you relatable, proves your experience, etc).

There's tons of other stuff wrong... but those three will get you started.

-Daniel

Quick critique:

-> The truth is promoted by every other product out there. All products say the same thing. You don't need cars, looks, money. So it's not really a new truth, especially since the market is experienced.

-> It would be better to actually say women want guys with cars, looks and money and then build a logical case why. Based on that logical case, you would show that these things can be replaced by something the prospect already owns / is.

-> You are going against the guru but you are saying about the same thing. When you position yourself against the competition and determine your USP, you need to do this with your entire message, not only with your headline.

Razvan