Sales Page Feedback Request - Discover The Key Techniques To Grow & Build A Successful Business

8 replies
Hi team,

Would love to get your thoughts on the following sales page for a $895 two day course for under 35 entrepreneurs.

Many thanks in advance for the insightful feedback!
#build #business #discover #feedback #grow #key #page #request #sales #successful #techniques
  • Profile picture of the author OutOfThisWord
    You need a lot of work here.

    It's not clear what your offer is... what your promise is...

    ...and most important, who are you and why should anyone listen to you.

    And what were the results of people that did take this course.
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    • Profile picture of the author rkat55
      Yeah, your sales page still needs a lot of work, but one thing
      you should focus on much more is who what where when and why.

      Who are you
      What are people going to learn (you need much more features and benefits)
      Where is the training taking place
      when " " " "
      Why you're doing this, why should people be interested, why
      should people do this and why should they do it NOW
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      • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
        Your sales page is way too vague. Specifics sell.

        You have to get some powerful bullets in there.

        I recommend you hire a professional copywriter for your copy.
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        • Profile picture of the author RickDuris
          Originally Posted by ThomasOMalley View Post

          Your sales page is way too vague. Specifics sell.

          You have to get some powerful bullets in there.

          I recommend you hire a professional copywriter for your copy.
          I agree with the above quote.

          While I know you see yourself as strategic (because of your video interview), your strategy-oriented copy comes off vague and abstract. It's not you, it's just that's how strategic copy sounds without supporting detail. Meaning you could be writing almost anything business-wise.

          I suggest you offer the strategy but you follow it quickly with specificsy. The comments like "I don't know what you're selling" are well founded.

          - Rick Duris
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          • Profile picture of the author Dean Jackson
            If you were about to spend $900 on something, would this be enough for you?

            You need to build some serious value if you want to sell this.

            NEW: CRAZIEST Copywriting offer ever offered on WF
            My top student WILL make your sales go BANANAS!
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            • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
              Hi Bryce,

              Here's what's missing, in one word, No THEME.

              All big sold out events have an over-riding theme which is
              timely to a widely known problem.

              Think of one word.

              Bring the focus on why now this needs to be addressed
              more than any-time in history.

              List what has worked before but isn't now.

              Give reason why broad subjects with multi speakers leaves the attendees
              lost when it comes to implementation.

              Break down in bite size parts to the theme which are the answers to the problem.

              Tell what each speaker is covering and why he/she is uniquely qualified.

              Give more reasons why there hasn't been anything remotely like this done before.

              Paint a picture of them implementing this solution to this vexing problem.

              Demonstrate through examples and case studies of this method working now.

              Sweeten the deal further by having follow up webinars to make the implementation stick.

              Examples of themes used and the possible...
              Outrageous advertising
              Banner advertising
              Website conversion
              Facebook advertising
              Backend sales
              Offline and Online fusion
              Direct mail

              ...and so on.

              Now you've got something for yourself, your speakers and attendees to
              focus on.

              Vague notions and ideas don't get acted on.

              The words can now be written to convey this thinking.

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  • Profile picture of the author MarkJones
    If any of these sound like you, this program might be the solution you need!
    There is no "might" about it, this program IS the solution... If you aren't confident in your copy then there is no chance people are going to buy from you.

    When writing it's always when not if, it's always is not might, be stronger with your copy.

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  • Profile picture of the author Daniel Scott
    There's not a lot of selling going on here. And for $900, you need to do some serious selling.

    I just finished hanging out at the ClickBank event here in NYC. They put their event on for $697, though it may have risen to $997 later on.

    You're charging a lot more than them and you have far less credibility.

    Plus... the site's amateur hour. The design's awful... the copy stinks... and there's absolutely no compelling reason for me to sign up with you guys.

    When I read it, the first thing I thought was...

    "If these guys are so successful... why aren't they able to pay for professional design work and compelling copy?"

    If you want to sell a high-ticket item, you gotta get serious about your marketing. Half-baked won't cut it.


    Always looking for badass direct-response copywriters. PM me if we don't know each other and you're looking for work.

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