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Does telling a story always work?

by MaskedFerret
13 replies
Hey folks,

First post here. I've been lurking for a couple years now, but I finally decided to stop being shy and start being interactive. I was hoping I could talk shop with some of the more experienced copywriters here, and maybe share some of my experiences in something a lot of people don't seem to be talking about.

Quick bit of background on what I'm doing, to put this in context. I've been a web writer for about 6 years now and have gradually moved more into copywriting. Right now I am the marketing director of a company that creates third-party software for online, multiplayer games.

When I first began working on the sales pages for this company, I started with the basics, applying tried and true knowledge. As a major strategy, I tried to tell a story. But whenever I told a story, inevitably conversions would absolutely tank. It was baffling, because almost everything online right now says that the best way to connect with your potential customers is to tell them a story and get them to personally think of the problem your product solves, and the benefits of having that problem abolished.

Has anyone else had similar experiences in this sort of niche? I did some investigating into high-conversion sales pages for software - everything from registry cleaners to graphic design suites. Most of our competitors either convert less than us or are selling ebooks instead of software, so I was reluctant to look there.

But what I found is that the highest-converting pages in this particular market put much more focus on showing proof of the features of the software through videos and screenshots. Their copy is incredibly short, usually sandwiched between graphical representations and proof that the product does what it says it does. More than anything, the copy seems to exist to reinforce the decision to buy.

I'm working on a complete redesign of our sales page structure right now including more relevant videos that demonstrate proof for the product, and screenshots that help support it. But I'm curious if anyone else has noticed through testing that their conversions actually decrease in certain markets when trying to tell a story?
#story #telling #work
  • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
    Telling a story is proven copywriting method. But it takes excellent copywriting skills to pull it off with a story.

    The key is test, test, and test. And you are doing that.

    Keep up the good work.
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  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    You need a "selling story." Not any old story will do.

    From what little I can glean, you may need to reconsider what story copy should be about. There is no reason why, for example, you couldn't include proof as part of storytelling copy.

    Storytelling copy is still copy.

    I couldn't guess what this niche is about. Or what the problem with the copy is without seeing it. But it would seem a natural fit for storytelling copy. The trick is whether or not you're writing copy or just telling a random story.

    The danger with the storytelling approach is entertainment without a story that sells. You'll get scads of people who like the story -- but won't buy.

    With better information you will get better advice.
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    • Profile picture of the author ChrisKahler
      Originally Posted by John_S View Post

      The danger with the storytelling approach is entertainment without a story that sells. You'll get scads of people who like the story -- but won't buy.

      With better information you will get better advice.
      That's a great point too... The story is really only to involve the reader into your copy and get them interested... if everything else is sub par then nothing will happen.

      A successful story gets them interested, but then you must push further than interest and build a true desire for your offer. Bullet points, guarantees, social proof, and a whole slew of other elements come into play at this point.
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  • Profile picture of the author ChrisKahler
    Stories work great. There are many psychological reasons as to why they do.

    For one, people are naturally curious about others inside lives. Telling a personal account of your offer (doesn't matter if it is software, ebook, ecourse, or magazine subscription) creates a sense of involvement in the person reading it.

    Consider a suspenseful or horror type movie... or any movie for that matter. Why do they get you so emotionally involved?

    My theory is that movies (much like stories, which are mental movies) tend to momentarily turn off conscious rationalization and we subconsciously project ourselves into the story being told and experience it in our own imaginations.

    The result of a suspenseful movie is that we get anxious and on the edge of our seats. As with copy, if you can involve the reader in regards to the overall solution for their problem, they will inherently experience that solution and build a stronger desire for it.

    Ever read the famous letter that exploded The Wall Street Journal? Nearly the entire sales letter is a story about two men, one who subscribed to the journal and the other who didn't. They were basically the same exact person, except the one who subscribed was the president of the company they worked at and the other (worked at the same company) was just a manager of a small portion.

    Is that a true story? Who knows... but it did earn over $1 billion in revenue for WSJ.

    Point is, when stories are used in perfect relation to your offer and your prospect, they do amazing things psychologically for building a true desire. Engaging the imagination is a surefire way of selling the experience you're ultimately trying to give them.
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  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    My guess is any decent copywriter -- reading the story and then reading whatever they are using that is pulling -- will figure out what's going on.

    That won't happen without specifics.

    Does telling a story ALWAYS work? No. Storytelling is not a magic copywriting fix.
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  • Profile picture of the author philipf
    tell stories can make or break the product.
    go over the story over and over to make sure that everything is
    taken into consideration.
    every detail tackled
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  • Profile picture of the author David Sneen
    The first thing you must do in sales is to get people's attention. Does telling a story work? Just ask 50.000.000 gossippers. People love a well-timed, well-told story.
    Signature
    David Sneen
    It's what you do when no one is watching
    that determines what you will be able to
    do when everyone is watching.
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    • Profile picture of the author danbcaut
      "telling a story" works well in niches - and sometimes when targeting IM newbies - particularly at price points of $49 (in todays crashed economy) and up where persuasion is often the deal maker.

      I've found story telling to be much less effective when attempting to sell other experienced marketers - probably 2 reasons outstanding:

      1. the tactic itself is transparent to any marketer with the least bit of savvy

      2. our time is too valuable to spend on contrived fiction


      Wishing all the best
      Dan B. Cauthron
      Signature
      FREE Blog Clones Monthly
      http://CloneMyBlogs.com
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  • Profile picture of the author EricMN
    If you can pull off a story, they will work more often than not. It's easier said than done, though. There is lots of copy that converts without a story and as mentioned above, the niche plays a big role.

    One of the things both mentioned and seen in copy and books on the topic is that a tech savvy market isn't as interested in an over sell with a lot of flim flam. This isn't to say that copy for other niches is loaded with this stuff but you can see how writing to an aspiring IMer as opposed to a scientist or engineer looking for a particular piece of equipment will differ. The latter often realizes the benefits of what they're getting, that's why they are getting it (which isn't to say you exclude the benefits by any means).

    Target the copy to the buyer. There is no universal standard, only guidelines. Use them appropriately.
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  • Profile picture of the author edzwoo
    For your particular niche, telling a story might not be worth it particularly because your target market will have usually landed on the page knowing exactly why they are there in the first place. Video gaming is also a bit less personal and more of a leisure activity, so I don't think a story would have the same emotional connection as it would on a niche like weight loss.
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomasOMalley
      I have always liked Joe Vitale's use of stories in his emails. Get on his list to see his use of selling stories in copy.

      You might able to find some good info. on selling stories at his website in his free articles section. His main website is mrfire.com.

      As well, I recommend his Hypnotic Selling Stories product. I really like it and I have used it in my copy.

      Best,

      Thomas O'Malley
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      • Profile picture of the author MaskedFerret
        For your particular niche, telling a story might not be worth it particularly because your target market will have usually landed on the page knowing exactly why they are there in the first place. Video gaming is also a bit less personal and more of a leisure activity, so I don't think a story would have the same emotional connection as it would on a niche like weight loss.
        This was my main concern. It's a hobby market, and one that typically has a lot of negative stereotypes associated with it. Most of the folks who arrive at our landing pages know exactly what our product should do. We're competing with a lot of free software that's readily available to the typical player.

        But you all are right: It's very possible I am not telling the right story. I'll liken it to golf a bit because I think that's a hobby most will understand just by my mentioning it. Our customers - from surveys of demographic, playtime, and what they want out of the game - don't want to go pro. They don't really have an interest in being the absolute best. They want to be able to improve their swing just going to the driving range twice a week. They want to play better to meet smaller goals that are meaningful to them. Take a few shots off the 7th on their favorite course. Keep up with their buddies so they aren't always one hole behind. Play a better game so they can come home and tell their family they played a good game today.

        I'm going to test some storytelling copy for one of our products. Try and make it tighter so that it appeals directly to those people. Then test and keep working at it.

        Thank you for taking the time out to offer advice and share your own stories!
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        • Profile picture of the author MaskedFerret
          Oh and thank you for the links and book suggestions. I'll check those out.
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