Will my copy make sales?

by thomas1984 13 replies
Hey every one, Just my looking at my sales copy do you believe it will make sales or does it completely suck?? Dont be afraid to hurt my feelings.

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#copywriting #copy #make #sales
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  • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
    Banned
    Originally Posted by thomas1984 View Post

    Hey every one, Just my looking at my sales copy do you believe it will make sales or does it completely suck?? Dont be afraid to hurt my feelings.

    OOPS.... give me a min
    Suck or swim provide a link!

    Hey! I'm a poet.
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  • Profile picture of the author thomas1984
    LOL... What about now?
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      What is the offer price?

      If it's $1 short copy will work, albeit yours with a lot of improvement.

      If it's $497 you'll need much longer copy to justify the purchase price.

      Opinion on what you've got so far? It's still bland. There's no story here. Nothing to entice me. It's too similar to everything else every Tom, Dick, and Harry has been churning out for yonks.

      Simple answer? Give it to a pro to handle. The investment will be more than worth it.

      You need a hell of a lot more benefits and a lot more structure.

      The headline is about as enticing and exciting as a (fill in the blank).

      Blimey lately...

      Pete sighs.
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  • Profile picture of the author thomas1984
    It pasted a little ulgyer than I had it, It WILL be spaced out and look better on the launch but what about everything else?
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  • Profile picture of the author Dean Dune
    I don't even know where to begin.

    Trash the entire thing and either learn copywriting or hire someone.
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  • Profile picture of the author thomas1984
    Thank you pete... any one else?
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      This WSO sales copy worked very well with not much under 3,000 being sold...

      http://www.warriorforum.com/warrior-...cpa-offer.html

      The offer has closed now but this guy knows CPA like the back of hand, why not contact him - he's a friendly fella and might be willing to give you a few pointers.

      Why not ask him for his advice?

      Just a suggestion.

      Warrior username - Kenster.
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  • Profile picture of the author thomas1984
    Thanks Pete, But I was looking for some quick suggestions that I can do In the next few mins as I am thinking of launching tonight.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      Originally Posted by thomas1984 View Post

      Thanks Pete, But I was looking for some quick suggestions that I can do In the next few mins as I am thinking of launching tonight.
      It's going to take more than a few minutes to sort that lot out.

      Try a week or two.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Broody
    As for me, a bit hard to read, lot of sudden formatting switches
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    • Profile picture of the author zannix
      I find it hard to judge sales copies, really. Especially IM-related sales copies.

      It's because, as an internet marketer, I've seen sooooo much *hype* and became so skeptical about everything and everyone, that I'm often reading sales copies and going - yeah, right... I've heard the exact same lines before and ended up disappointed...

      But I can't tell whether someone who is new and eager to learn about CPA is going to fall for it. Maybe he/she will, who knows.

      However, it takes a non hyped, strongly argumented, witty and humorous, appealing sales copy to get me excited and perhaps even buy the product (providing that's what I'm looking for).

      P.S. Also always check your copy for spelling errors. "After payment you will receive a e-mail" - even if you had me 90%, you'd lose me right there.

      My 2 cents,
      Zannix
      Signature
      All you can do is all you can do - Art Williams
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    It's pretty raw. It lacks credibility in a big way. You criticize CPA experts in a way that makes you look weak. Saying the CPA experts have been "scamming you* is an amateur statement and irresponsible without some evidence to back it.

    Overall, this thing is awful. Someone already said it. Hire a writer. Good luck.
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