Video Copywriting So Bad it's Good

by Mark Andrews Banned
21 replies
Brilliantly deceptive video copywriting script at it's best below...

...plays into a great storyline, tugs at the emotions, plays to peoples greed and need for fast easy automatic cash in this recession.

Long winded as hell with no pause button - I suspect only the most dedicated copywriters here will set aside 30 minutes or so to listen to it.

Me? What do I think about it?

Oh it's clever, no doubting that - but if something sounds too good to be true, it's almost certainly worth passing by, giving as wide a berth as possible.

To my mind, this is pure deception plain and simple. But very good copywriting nonetheless for all the wrong reasons.

So which copywriter wrote this sucker then? Does anybody know?

Make Money Online With Profit Siege

What do you think about it?

Please post your comments and opinion down below...
#bad #brilliant #copywriting #copywriting deception #profit siege #profitsiege #video #video copywriting
  • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
    Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post

    Brilliantly deceptive video copywriting script at it's best below...

    ...plays into a great storyline, tugs at the emotions, plays to peoples greed and need for fast easy automatic cash in this recession.

    Long winded as hell with no pause button - I suspect only the most dedicated copywriters here will set aside 30 minutes or so to listen to it.

    Me? What do I think about it?

    Oh it's clever, no doubting that - but if something sounds too good to be true, it's almost certainly worth passing by, giving as wide a berth as possible.

    To my mind, this is pure deception plain and simple. But very good copywriting nonetheless for all the wrong reasons.

    So which copywriter wrote this sucker then? Does anybody know?

    Make Money Online With Profit Siege

    What do you think about it?

    Please post your comments and opinion down below...
    The verbal copy is good, but his delivery, his confidence, his "power" comes through the video like thunder... His voice is almost hypnotizing, he's so confident in what he's saying, it makes you want to believe... But it's a "confidence trick", you're right.

    Edit: I recommend all Copywriters listen to this guy, because his vocal tonality is something to write home about.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4810801].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author sanjaypande
    Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post

    What do you think about it?

    Please post your comments and opinion down below...
    Made me vomit!

    The voice is irritating - (I disagree with Cam).

    The believability factor is non-existent.

    The rest doesn't matter ... but

    For video ... It's pretty poorly done IMO

    And what is "good" copywriting without "believability"?

    Also methinks - hiding the buttons actually hurts your sales figures and ROI (More on that in another thread ...)

    Sorry Mark. Maybe I'm just an exception.

    I actually thought the script and story were pretty lame - and the video was quite pathetic. It could be a good lesson on what NOT to do.

    Warm Regards,

    Sanjay
    Signature

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811045].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Cam Connor
      Perhaps you'll be so kind to show us a Sanjay Pande Production, that we may learn from your experience?
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811171].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author sanjaypande
        Originally Posted by Cam Connor View Post

        Perhaps you'll be so kind to show us a Sanjay Pande Production, that we may learn from your experience?
        Hi Cam,
        I usually don't do this for a multitude of reasons, but my gut says - its an honest question.

        I'll give you a glimpse on just one of the videos I've done (for a market that is VERY different). This will be the first (and possibly the last one I actually share here).

        Dan is a friend and client and I think he'll be ok with me sharing this (although it'll probably skew all the stats).

        The Foundation « Learn Data Vault

        There is a good chance you may find it a tad boring because you are NOT the target audience.

        Warm Regards,

        Sanjay

        PS: For folks who love it or hate it - I am NOT looking for clients. Besides I like to charge lots of money and am still a pain to work with.
        Signature

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811626].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author EricMN
      Originally Posted by sanjaypande View Post

      Made me vomit!

      The voice is irritating - (I disagree with Cam).

      The believability factor is non-existent.

      The rest doesn't matter ... but

      For video ... It's pretty poorly done IMO

      And what is "good" copywriting without "believability"?

      Also methinks - hiding the buttons actually hurts your sales figures and ROI (More on that in another thread ...)

      Sorry Mark. Maybe I'm just an exception.

      I actually thought the script and story were pretty lame - and the video was quite pathetic. It could be a good lesson on what NOT to do.

      Warm Regards,

      Sanjay
      I don't think you're the exception since I feel very much the same way.

      The most compelling videos I ever watch aren't ones where I'm being talked to, but ones where I am talked with. . . If that makes sense.

      The tone in this video seems condescending -- as if I need everything broken down slowly and for my own good. I'm being talked at, not spoken to.

      When I watch/listen to people like Perry Belcher or Brett Thomson, though, I feel like I'm chatting with them and I have all the reason in the world to give them my time.

      As this video came on, the first words out of my girlfriend's mouth were, "Oh god" followed by an eye-roll. . . It was another sales pitch and one she's heard a million times.

      When she listens to two of the other names I mentioned, not only does she listen, she's involved which shows some general intrigue.

      And she is no more a target demographic in one than the other.

      Unless I'm missing something. . .
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811205].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author myddpqs84
        Originally Posted by EricMN View Post

        I don't think you're the exception since I feel very much the same way.

        The most compelling videos I ever watch aren't ones where I'm being talked to, but ones where I am talked with. . . If that makes sense.

        The tone in this video seems condescending -- as if I need everything broken down slowly and for my own good. I'm being talked at, not spoken to.

        When I watch/listen to people like Perry Belcher or Brett Thomson, though, I feel like I'm chatting with them and I have all the reason in the world to give them my time.

        As this video came on, the first words out of my girlfriend's mouth were, "Oh god" followed by an eye-roll. . . It was another sales pitch and one she's heard a million times.

        When she listens to two of the other names I mentioned, not only does she listen, she's involved which shows some general intrigue.

        And she is no more a target demographic in one than the other.

        Unless I'm missing something. . .
        i agree with you.
        Signature

        Wonderful! I definitely Monster Beats love how it is easy on beats headphones my eyes cheap rolex as well as the information discount tissot prc200 watch are well Tissot Mens Watches written.

        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811433].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Studio13
    I actually was more drawn to his way of writing headlines, the obnoxiously big, barely fits on my screen headlines. The video was 'ok' -- he was reciting his sales letter verbatim. And his copy was ripe with snippets from movies like "The Matrix" and "The Godfather" hehe.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811314].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author MikeHumphreys
    Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post


    So which copywriter wrote this sucker then? Does anybody know?

    Make Money Online With Profit Siege

    What do you think about it?

    Please post your comments and opinion down below...
    It was written by former stud copywriter turned info-marketer John Hostler.

    When my membership site CB Recon was active, I did a 80+ page marketing and sales breakdown on this site (with John's permission) for my members.

    I don't make a dime by saying this but if you think this video copy rocks, then you should buy the product and study the back-end marketing... it will blow you away.

    Take care,

    Mike
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811524].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      Originally Posted by MikeHumphreys View Post

      It was written by former stud copywriter turned info-marketer John Hostler.

      When my membership site CB Recon was active, I did a 80+ page marketing and sales breakdown on this site (with John's permission) for my members.

      I don't make a dime by saying this but if you think this video copy rocks, then you should buy the product and study the back-end marketing... it will blow you away.

      Take care,

      Mike
      I can just imagine it Mike, I can just imagine.

      Thanks for posting up this extra piece of info, much appreciated.

      Kindest regards,


      Mark
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4811919].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author IdrisSG
        Salesletter reads pretty much the same as all the other products in this same niche.

        Even the flow of the letter is very similar to others out there.

        "Want to stop being poor? What if I told you there was a way to make 1.6 million dollars every week, sounds crazy I know and if you're like most losers who can't handle money this isn't for you...but if you're cool and want to be free then listen up... my new "push this button 3 times a day software" is different...this software is nothing like any of those crappy softwares out there... this software is different... here's the story about how I got this one of a kind software from a Japanese ninja who once worked with Microsoft"

        *thumbs down*
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4813303].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Toniy
    I suspect only the most dedicated copywriters here will set aside 30 minutes or so to listen to it.
    You did that on purpose, right?

    Alright so...

    First I wanted to punch his computer face for talking to me in that tone and pitch and grate of voice....

    Then I thought 'mate this is nonsense, you're not telling me anything here...'

    Then he said piss, and something about eye stabbing, and I cracked a smile which I was instantly disappointed with myself for...

    Then I thought he was selling the software they used in Office Space and Superman III...

    Then I thought he was selling a forex bot...

    Then he mentioned 'stop learning' and I realised this might just be targeted at idiots...

    Then I accepted the fact he's a bit of a dick, but likes his family so that's cool in my book...

    And he nearly said f*** which I love, but he was really getting into it, which was also cool...

    Then I realised 'holy ****... this is a great product story, and I'm starting to enjoy the lameness of the presentation'...

    Then I was CERTAIN it was the Superman III Software...

    Then I noticed some great words like 'astronomic' and 'blistering'...

    Then I caught some cool snippets like 'I couldn't find anything to compare this to to get a value' and 'If you're going to let a risk-free $47 stand in your way'...

    Then the video finished and I realised... "Two years ago I would have bought this in a flash".

    But it's essentially a PPV / CPV campaign manager.

    I'm not sure how I feel that I just sat and watched that whole thing... apart from the fact I now know how much I don't want to use video copy.

    Are people really that slow at reading, or that lazy that they NEED a sales letter spoken to them in video?

    Serious question, I haven't looked into it... I'm going for a smoke.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4814585].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author Studio13
      Originally Posted by Toniy View Post

      You did that on purpose, right?
      Then I thought he was selling the software they used in Office Space and Superman III...
      Hahaha! Oh man I nearly spit my coffee out, cheers.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4814608].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Toniy
        Originally Posted by Studio13 View Post

        Hahaha! Oh man I nearly spit my coffee out, cheers.
        Dude that nearly made me spit MY coffee out... I love when that happens
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4814623].message }}
        • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
          Banned
          What with you chirping away Adam and my use of English the rest of the copywriters here must wonder sometimes what on earth has hit them.

          And they thought I was making it up as I went along.

          Kagmag the lot of it, kagmag I tell 'ee.

          Fellow copywriters kagmag translation... codswallop and piffle, tripe and balderdash, hogwash and bafflegab.

          Isn't that right Adam? (You would know)
          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4815189].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author sanjaypande
            Originally Posted by Mark Andrews View Post

            Fellow copywriters kagmag translation... codswallop and piffle, tripe and balderdash, hogwash and bafflegab.
            And on that note ... my brain went to ... Lord Ickenham!

            I wish he (W) had written more with that character.
            Signature

            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4815412].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Toniy
    ... what the ****.

    Have to say though... it's a legitimate way of communicating

    "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull****"


    ... I like to jump between the two
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4815859].message }}
  • Obviously my google chrome didn't like it either...it crashed!

    I have heard this schpiel somewhere else before...I only got up to the "paypal in Mountain View - unrelenting commute" thing to know...(101 is a real drag of a commute, but - )

    (frankly, it would depend on where he was commuting from...:rolleyes: - as I used to live just down the street from paypal when it started...it was literally, like an office an insurance agent or dentist might have...it was small.)

    But that copy is unrelenting...it doesn't even sound like he paused for breath -

    I would have used another v.o. artist for this - I actually know a guy I used to work with doing vo that could pull something like this off...(I'd give you his name, but I don't want him to raise his prices and get a big head!)

    Plus the fact that there is no way to pause this... - no telling how long it goes...
    What's the deal and the obvious OTO?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4818571].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author John_S
    I've bought thousands of dollars in product like this. Well, not entirely unlike this one.

    I buy just because I'm curious. I buy to take a look at the whole selling system. If it makes me feel even a bit like reaching for my wallet, there is a good chance I'll buy it.

    I am looking to buy something about video/animation and selling online. I am interested in learning something about the method; even if not the actual product. I am not even sure what the page is selling. ...traffic? ...something to do with PayPal? ...what? ....is it targeted at affiliates or those just getting into affiliate sales? (I don't get a clear sense of who the offer targets).

    I didn't buy it. End of analysis.


    P.S. Did help me make the connection affiliates are the MLMers of cyberspace.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[4819166].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author roundsoftz
      Well... i am the grating voice behind the scenes. We did not hire voice actors instead we chose to be authentic. This is my story, and nobody should have told it except me.

      So complain if you will that we did not hire voice actors and scam you out of your hard earned cash by using fancy fake stories, videos, photos or voices.

      The entire story, the voice, and the product testimonies and results are 100% legit.

      yup.. it is real

      ME

      ps: who wants a dimesale?
      Signature
      ------------------------------------------------------------
      Ever wished you had the power to predict the future:

      Demon Tracking
      ------------------------------------------------------------
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6383822].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Rezbi
    Only one thing matters...

    Does the copy sell, or not?

    If it sells it's good. If it doesn't it's not.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6388358].message }}

Trending Topics