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The Ding King and Big City Slider Station

by KingOfContentMarketing
6 replies
Check out 21 scripts of some of the biggest Billy Mays infomercials:

Transcripts for 21 of Billy Mays' Most Popular Infomercials

"But call right now and we'll double this entire offer absolutely free!"
#big #city #ding #king #slider #station
  • Profile picture of the author Don Schenk
    Thank you. That's a good find.

    Here's the transcript and Youtube URL for Billy Mays - Jupiter Jack

    http://www.donschenk.com/BillyMaysJupiterJack.pdf

    Interesting trivia bit: There is an episode of "Pitchmen" in which Billy Mays and Anthony (Sully) Sullivan are filming the commercial for Impact Gel insoles. Billy absolutely refused to let a car drive over his Impact Gel protected hand.

    Someone else volunteered, and when you think the car is driving over Billy's hand, they actually cut to someone else's hand.

    :-Don
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  • Profile picture of the author RobBritt
    A lot of people make fun of all the info-mercials, but they are brilliant and they sure have sold a lot of product over the years. But wait... there's more.
    thanks for posting that link, Joe!
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    • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
      Speaking of pitchmen... I forgot all about this (from a few days ago):

      Donald Lapre, an infomercial pitchman who was facing charges of running a scam to sell worthless businesses, has died in an apparent suicide, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

      The Phoenix-based Lapre was in federal custody and found dead in his cell Sunday morning. He was indicted in June on 41 counts of conspiracy and fraud. Lapre was accused of promoting businesses that defrauded nearly $52 million from more than 220,000 victims.

      Lapre's trial was scheduled to begin Tuesday.
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      • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
        Now back on topic. One of my faves is the ShamWow commercial:

        Hi it's Vince from ShamWow, you'll be saying wow everytime.

        It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge.

        A regular towel doesn't work wet, this works wet or dry.

        This is for the house
        The car
        The boat
        The RV

        ShamWow holds 20 times it's weight in liquid, look at this, it just does the work.

        Why do you want to work twice as hard? It doesn't drip, doesn't make a mess, ring it out.

        You wash it in the washing machine. Made in Germany, you know the Germans always make good stuff.

        You can cut it in half, use one as a bathmat, drain your dishes with the other one, use one as a towel.

        Olympic divers, they use it as a towel- look at that, completely dry.

        Put it in a wet sweater roll it up it dries your sweaters.

        Here's some cola, wine, coffee, cola, pet stains.

        Not only is your damage going to be on top, there's your mildew.
        That is gonna smell, see that.

        Now we're gonna do this in real time, look at this, put it on the spill, turn it over without putting any pressure, 50% of the cola...right there you following me camera guy?

        The other 50% the color starts to come up no other towels' gonna do that.
        It acts like a vacuum, and look at this virtually dry on the bottom.
        See what i'm telling ya Shamwow you'll be saying wow everytime.

        I can't live without it, i just love it!

        Oh my gosh i don't even buy paper towels anymore.

        If you're gonna wash your cars or any other vehicle, you'll be out of your mind not to own one of these.

        All i can say is SHAM! WOW!

        You're gonna spend twenty dollars every month on paper towels anyway you're throwin away your money.

        The mini ShamWows are for everything, for everyday use.

        This last tens years, this last a week, i don't know it sells itself.
        The ShamWow sells for 19.95 you get one for the house, one for the car, two for the kitchen and bathroom.

        But if you call now, within the next twenty minutes cause we can't do this all day, we'll give you a second set absolutely free. So that's 8 ShamWows for 19.95. it comes with a ten year warranty, here's how to order.

        Call 18009517100

        ShamWow it not available in stores and is made in Germany beware of ShamWow imitators, call 18009517100 that's 18009517100 call now
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        • Profile picture of the author KingOfContentMarketing
          Originally Posted by Mr. Subtle View Post

          Now back on topic. One of my faves is the ShamWow commercial:

          Hi it's Vince from ShamWow, you'll be saying wow everytime.

          It's like a shammy, it's like a towel, it's like a sponge.
          Yes! He's the best. Gotta also love Slap Chop:

          Hi its Vince with Slap Chop! You're gonna be in a great mood all day cause you're gonna be slappin your troubles with the Slap Chop. Now look here's a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stews, two slaps home fries in a second.

          And now look at this when you add a mushroom you more you do it the finer it gets you don't have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad, you hate making it. You know you hate making salads that's why you don't have any salad in your diet.

          Now watch this one slap, salad! Now I love Pizza to but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You're gonna change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, its done.This thing this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life.

          Add this tuna putting it in like this now you're going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you're gonna have an exciting life now. Look here's a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle, you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you're gonna love this. You don't have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You're gonna love my nuts. Watch this almonds, walnuts.

          Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store.

          Add a couple cookies if you want. So you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn't that beautiful on your ice cream. The reason you're gonna slap away everyday is cause its so easy to clean. One. Two, and pops open like that like a butterfly.

          Now these other ones you see at the stores. Bacteria gets on the food, all the stores have this. You can't clean it! You can't open this up its worthless! Forget about it. Now take the Slap Chop, put it back together, and you get the garlic.

          Now here's the garlic, with the skin. There you go de-skins the garlic. You're gonna eat more garlic. The onions with the skin, alright this is making you cry making me cry. Alright life's hard enough as it is.

          You don't wanna cry anymore.

          Put the Slap Chop right there, the skins at the bottom. And look at this you want a little bit of onions, you don't wanna drag out the food processor. The skin, comes right off! You see that? Alright now you put a tomato in there. Add your cilantro, your hot peppers right there. You hit it like this.

          Guys we're gonna make America skinny again. One slap at a time!

          Now here's the deal when you buy the Slap Chop we're gonna give you the Graty for cheese. White cheese yellow cheese in the container.

          Comes with a twister, watch this tacos, fettucini, linguine, martini, bikini.

          Look at that comes with two blades. Bang it. Cheese comes right out. Fine in course, Parmesan. Comes with a cover, stays sealed. Put it in the fridge, take it out when you need it. Pass it around the table. You're gonna love this thing.

          The Slap Chop sells for Nineteen Ninety-Five. But if you call now, within the next twenty minutes (you know we can't do this all day).

          You're gonna get the Graty absolutely free.

          So that's two for Nineteen Ninety-Five. The Slap Chop with the Graty, here's how to order!

          http://youtu.be/rUbWjIKxrrs
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    great find... thanks
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