Which One of These Two Headlines Made More Money?

by abugah

Posted: 12 years ago 13 replies

COPY WRITING

Now, compare these two headlines.

Headline A

''How to Repair Cars-Quickly, Easily, Right''

Headline B

''How to Fix Cars-Quickly, Easily, Right''

Before we move on- guess which one outperformed the other?

Done it?

Okay...

In the book Tested Advertising Methods, legendary copywriter John Caples features these two headlines...

Apparently, headline B saw orders increase by 20%.

That means if you were doing orders of say $100,000 and you replaced the word 'repair' with 'fix' , that single change would see your bank account grow by a cool 20 grand.

Now, here is my question...

Is there any copywriter who has replaced just one word in the headline and seen 20% or more increase in orders? Would you mind if you shared the two headlines?

#headlines #made #money

Jonathan 2.0 Banned 12 years ago

Fix = More simple/easy.

Don't know of any headlines though.
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- Steve The Copywriter 12 years ago
  
  You're virtually guaranteed to get a bump in response when you use power verbs.
  
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nickhumph 12 years ago

Agree with 2.0

Repair sounds short-term.
Fix sounds long-term.

But pretty amazing how just one word can change results so dramatically!
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Ashley Gable 12 years ago

Repair, to me sounds very controlled and guided.

Special tools, special knowledge. All done "the right way".

Fix on the other hand sounds like "back in working order".

My Dad never repaired our Jeep, he always just fixed it. Fix, to me, means "not broken".

If the majority of people think like that, I am not surprised it won out.
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- Karson 12 years ago
  
  Lets go a bit deeper...
  
  Do you ever here anyone say "my car was repaired last week".
  
  If you do... you think about the guy going through the process of a repair. (or at least I do)
  
  Now if you say "my car was fixed last week". I think of the end product. A fixed car.
  
  If you sell a guide, how to, or anything, you are selling the end product.
  
  What you get. Not what it takes.
  
  Thanks
  
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thehorizon 12 years ago

This was the same one as "misadjustment" and "breakdown" for tv diy repairs. What the replacement does is change the intensity of the word.. changing a negative word to a softer one- at the same time changing its ease of ridding of.

It was also stated as a psychological trigger in Sugarman's books. One word can make or break an ad- that's how delicate copywriting is.
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maximus242

12 years ago

See this is the mistake everyone makes, no one understands why one word outpulls another, they can pretend to understand - but they dont really know.

What the smart advertisers do is stop asking why does it work and simply ask, what works? Then they use what works, and cross test. Through thousands of cross tests they are able to build out definable patterns and eliminate every possibility. THEN we build advertising laws and principles.

Not take a single split test and draw a whole bunch of conclusions on some damned psychology. Advertising is science it takes a great deal of data to draw up principles and conclusions from test results. One test result is not enough, good agencies employ thousands before drawing conclusions by eliminating every possibility.

In online copywriting today, education in copywriting is more of a gamble. People tout this technique and that technique without any data to back it up. Its a terrible thing and its the reason why so many people are struggling to succeed in writing sales letters. They have been given misleading or completely false information. Or at the very least, information which is only verified by a single copywriters biases and not based off of verifiable fact.

They treat copywriting as though it were some sort of psychic power that needed to be honed and taught by the all mighty guru. This is completely false. Good copywriting is based off of testing and proven results about what works. Its based in what achieves the sale. Gurus are completely unnessecary for this.

Gurus exist because it raises their own copywriting rates, boosts their ego and makes an easy income source for them. A few good ones genuinely want to teach but a lot of them are completely taking advantage and leading new copywriters in totally bull**** directions. When, all these new copywriters want to do is achieve some form of financial freedom.

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Jonathan 2.0

Banned 12 years ago

Originally Posted by maximus242

Gurus exist because it raises their own copywriting rates, boosts their ego and makes an easy income source for them. A few good ones genuinely want to teach but a lot of them are completely taking advantage and leading new copywriters in totally bull**** directions. When, all these new copywriters want to do is achieve some form of financial freedom.

The things I've learned from "Copywriting Gurus" (for lack of a better word) Like Halbert, Bencivenga, etc. has been priceless.

I'm very much a "Copywriting Student" and will keep learning from the masters until I'm an excellent copywriter.

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abugah

12 years ago

Originally Posted by maximus242

In online copywriting today, education in copywriting is more of a gamble. People tout this technique and that technique without any data to back it up. Its a terrible thing and its the reason why so many people are struggling to succeed in writing sales letters. They have been given misleading or completely false information. Or at the very least, information which is only verified by a single copywriters biases and not based off of verifiable fact.

Even when you are gambling, you are better starting with what's likely to work. That in itself is a science and a good launching pad.

The fact that a copywriter writes copy that makes money is an indication he or she can teach you to write copy that works.

Would you rather follow false information that makes money or truthful facts that keep you starving?

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max5ty

12 years ago

Did you know this?

Since the days of Caples...studies have been done which provide more insight -- and if known then, and used, would have even boosted the response rate higher...

Studies show...

You should avoid words that end in "ly" in a headline...and also try and avoid them in a sales piece.

"ly" gives your mind a chance to pause...which gives it a chance to use that split second to drift to other thoughts.

Read the headline again:

"How To Fix Cars - Quickly, Easily, Right"

See what I mean?

Words that end in "ly" are mental tongue twisters.

Better yet would have been:

"How To Fix Cars - Quick, Easy, Right"

The headline is dated and could probably be written better...but using the method of dropping the "ly"...would have made it easier to read.

Just a thought.

Thanks
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abugah

12 years ago

Originally Posted by max5ty

Did you know this?

Studies show...

You should avoid words that end in "ly" in a headline...and also try and avoid them in a sales piece.

"ly" gives your mind a chance to pause...which gives it a chance to use that split second to drift to other thoughts.

Just a thought.

Thank you for the insight.

Any other studies you can share that relates to headlines?

Thanks

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Bruce Wedding 12 years ago

This guy publishes some great stuff.

Internet Marketing Tips, Tricks and Treats - Mr Green

In reference to this thread...

"Get a Girlfriend. Click here." was slaughtered in conversions by "Want a Girlfriend? Click here"

Get vs Want

http://www.mrgreen.am/affiliate-mark...nversion-data/
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- KingOfContentMarketing 12 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Bruce Wedding
  
  This guy publishes some great stuff.
  
  Internet Marketing Tips, Tricks and Treats - Mr Green
  
  Wow, watch this guy sell:
  
  The World’s Best Salesman? - Mr Green
  
  Or is it too much entertainment?
  
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  Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
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Which One of These Two Headlines Made More Money?

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