First Time Writing Copy Any Suggestions To Make It Convert?

by 3000
6 replies
Hello Warriors,

The copy is the right here: Keyword Hawk

I was looking for any kind of suggestions to help it convert. Sorry if there are mistakes first time trying write an actually sales copy .
#convert #copy #make #suggestions #time #writing
  • Profile picture of the author EricMN
    If you had nothing else to go on and you wanted to write decent copy, I would tell you to do two things.

    1. Research your target demographic. Find people you are targeting and ask them questions. What about their business would they like more of? Where are they falling behind? What have they done to build their business to where it is now? What are the logistics? What are the ups and downs of their line of work? etc etc

    Try to dig up specifics. Find a trend and exploit it in your headline by addressing what your product will do for them. Do this by resolving their biggest issue. You need a big idea and a big promise. Something no one else has.

    2. Use the search feature and look up 21 step sales letter. You'll find it posted more than once here in the copywriting forum and it provides a solid template to base your copy on. I believe it was developed by Perry Belcher so maybe a google search could uncover it as well.

    It's not comprehensive, but it's a start. Incorporate it into your copy and tweak as needed.

    Best of Luck.

    (You might want to make your buy button a little more effective. . .

    Hint: Look to Perry Belcher for this as well)
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  • Profile picture of the author RadiniCopywriting
    Try not to use closed questions. It's great to get people saying yes but if they say no you might lose them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Matt Ausin
    Here you go, first result in google

    21 Step Salesletter Formula | Perry Belcher
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  • Profile picture of the author Hans Klein
    You say, "You no longer have to mess with a confusing keyword tool."

    However, you later explain the features and it sounds like you're selling a keyword tool.

    You need to explain how is it different than a keyword tool. If it's not, I'd think about how you can make adjustments to the product.

    For instance...

    You say, "Joining Keyword Hawk is cheaper than purchasing Market Samurai which will cost you $149."

    This isn't a very strong selling point. It's either got be better than the top product on the market.... or a product that people buy in addition to the product people are already buying.

    There are times when you can knock off the features of a top selling software product and undercut it on price. However... with keyword tools, that's going to cost some $$$ to rival the product that's on top.

    You need to do something new and different. Now... you may already have done this. But, it's not clear from your sales copy.
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    • Profile picture of the author Azarna
      Not sure it is wise to compare the price to Market Samurai.

      That may cost more, but it is a one off payment - then one can use it forever, whereas your site is $19.95 a month.. every month.

      First thing I did when I saw the figures was think 'hmm, so a year on this site is MORE than Market Samurai... bad value'.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rylynn
    As a few people have already mentioned, comparing your product with market samurai on the basis of price alone might not be a smart move.

    The basis of comparison is inappropriate.

    Your site is a monthly membership site. Thus the cost will be more than that of Market Samurai in the long term. It's not a fair comparison.

    Also, Market Samurai has already established itself as a great keyword tool for many people. Unless you can demonstrate why your product is better or different, comparing based on price alone might not be enough because people like to go with what's tried and true.

    To be honest, there's too many things wrong with the sales page.

    The headline isn't compelling enough, the bullets can be much better, and the entire copy is probably too short to convey your message adequately.

    Have you done any research?

    For example, I know that some people are worried that with these kind of membership sites, everyone has access to the same keywords thus creating competition among the people who signed up for the membership.

    You never addressed that.

    Note that this is just an example. I don't know for sure if that applies to YOUR audience.
    I'm just saying you should do your research so that you can convey why your product is different (if it is) and more importantly, give the prospects what they really want.

    All in all, I think the best thing you can do is hire a copywriter.

    The entire sales page needs major editing in my opinion. No hard feelings. Just my 2 cents.
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