Please critique this text

by 10 replies
13
Hi,

Can you please critique this text:
Uncover the 11 Forgotten Laws | Quantum Mind Success

It's not a classical sales copy page of course, it's rather an (affiliate) article, but nonetheless intended to do the same thing: draw people to the sales page.
Now, I have had some traffic on it, and some (only around 5-6 %) have clicked through, but still no sales at all. I guess, something is missing here??
#copywriting #critique #text
  • Uncover the 11 forgotten laws sounds incomplete. What are these laws? You are not giving any benefit. You are not arousing curiosity. No emotion is triggered.

    Improve it.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
    • [1] reply
    • No, it couldn't be that. The article itself gives a very good explanation of what the laws are about. Also, the traffic is mostly from blogs where people have a general idea of the particular problem.



      I can understand why there are no sales with so little clickthroughs, but why the click-through rate is so low, if there is a free offer (a teleseminar) included, I just cannot.
      • [1] reply
  • I think you should show me some bullet points up front as to how this article is going to HELP me, because it appears too dense and crowded for me to take the time to read in my busy internet life! Something mindless and entertaining is always a click away. Sad, but true. So, inspire me to read it!

    Also, a strong CTA like Andrew mentioned above.

    Hope this helps!
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • I would agree that the headline is needing a bit of tweaking. There's a free tool that lets you analyze your headline for "Emotional Marketing Value". It helps you come up with a headline that triggers peoples emotions. Engaging them and helping you keep them reading your content.

    Advanced Marketing Institute - Headline Analyzer

    Hope that helps.
    • [ 1 ] Thanks
  • OK, thank you all for your help. Some very useful points to consider, even if I'm not going seriously to rewrite this one, I may take it all into account next time.
Join the discussion

Next Topics on Trending Feed