Which content is written the best?

9 replies
I am searching for the content to place on my homepage. Which of the 6 homepage content do you think will make more of a sell by beeing eye catching and more convincing? If you can, list the order of all 6 from best to least. I took out the city and county names by replacing them with XXX. Thanks.

Number 1

Looking for a professional XXX County Magician to entertain guests at your next event? Then look no further than Dynamike who has been specializing in performing comedy magic acts in XXX for more than 30 years.

Kids Love Dynamike and His Exciting Comedy Magic Acts

Also known as The Magician of XXX County, Dynamike loves to see children's faces light up as he performs his comedy magic acts. Each show is guaranteed to be age-appropriate to ensure all magic acts and jokes are fun and engaging for the children. You can schedule Dynamike, The Magician of XXX, to entertain your children at:

 Birthday Parties
 Communion Parties
 Holiday Parties
 Graduations
 Summer Camp


Dynamike Also Entertains at "Adult-Only" Events

Need to entertain an event or gathering attended by adults? Dynamike also provides "Adult-Only" stand-up and interactive illusions that are guaranteed to make your next event in XXX County a complete success! Every show is customized to suit your exact needs and guaranteed to entertain your guests or your money back!

So whether you are looking for a XXX County Magician to entertain children or adults, look no further than Dynamike!

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Number 2

Are you hosting an event in XXX and need some exciting entertainment? How about a magician? Well, you've come to the right place. Dynamike, "The XXX Magician" has been providing electrifying entertainment for all audiences - young and old alike - throughout XXX for over 30 years.

Dynamike enchants children and adults at all types of parties and venues including:

Birthday parties
Communion parties
Holiday parties
Family gatherings
Graduations
Summer camps
And much, much more

The XXX Magician, Dynamike, has the ability to combine comedy with magic to put a sparkle in the children's eyes as they watch his amazing act. He also has a way of interacting with the children so they understand what he is trying to express - he is truly a kid specialist magician.

However, if you are specifically looking for an evening filled with adults only, Dynamike can provide the magical entertainment you desire as well. "The XXX Magician" combines stand-up along with walk-around illusions to keep you guessing - this show is geared specifically for an older audience.

No matter the occasion - business meeting or commercial activity, Dynamike custom designs his performances to meet your needs. Your XXX event is honored by Dynamike's 100% satisfaction, money back guarantee - he knows you will be mystified.

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Number 3

Want a professional magician for your next event in XXX County? Dynamike has been bringing fun and entertainment to the community for over 30 years! Watch as Dynamike amazes everyone in your group with his magical talents and unique sense of humor. There's a reason why he's XXX County's number one magician.

Got a little one with a birthday? Give Dynamike a call! He's ideal for all kinds of events including, holiday parties, graduations, communion parties, family gatherings, summer camps, and anything else you can think of. Day care centers love Dynamike because he knows how to fine tune and tailor his message to any audience he performs in front of. He's a phenomenal showman and a true kid at heart.

But you don't have to be young to enjoy Dynamike's professional magic show. If you've got a group of adults, Dynamike can transform an ordinary occasion into something XXX County has never seen before. He's the perfect fit for meetings and corporate trainings. Whatever your message, Dynamike will make sure his performance delivers.

Dynamike offers a full money back guarantee on all of his shows. If your XXX County group is not 100% satisfied, you will get your full money back.

So if you are looking for a magician in XXX County, give Dynamike a call today.

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Number 4

Are you looking to have a professional magician at your event in XXX? Well Dynamike the Magician is your answer. Dynamike has experience entertaining as a magician in XXX and other surrounding XXX cities since he was twelve years old. Dynamike does have skills for performing for crowds of all ages from kids to adults.

It does not matter if the event is for a child's birthday, company picnic, communion party, school assembly, wedding reception, family reunion, or holiday party, Dynamike will perform for all type of events from crowds of a few to large. He does guarantee his magic shows for being your XXX Magician with a money back approval.

Dynamike will supply you with different packages you can choose from as your magician in XXX. You can call to book his services any time today by dialing XXX.

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Number 5

Looking for a magician in XXX? Well Dynamike can be your XXX Magician. Dynamike the Magician does perform in XXX and other surrounding XXX cities. He has been performing magic tricks ever since he was a kid. Dynamike will help make your event memorable by astonishing your guest of all ages.

Dynamike does performs at all type of events from a child's birthday, company picnic, communion party, school assembly, wedding reception, family reunion, or holiday party, Dynamike will perform for all type of events from crowds of a few to large. Entertainment is the key to why you should have Dynamike as your XXX Magician.

Feel free to call us anytime, 24/7 to ask us any questions about the magic show packages Dynamike have to offer you. We will be most happy to support you with your event in XXX. Don't delay, call today. 

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Number 6

Are you looking for a professional magician for your event in XXX County? Well Dynamike is your answer. Dynamike "The Magician of XXX County" performs for all ages from young to old. He has been entertaining audiences throughout Southeastern Michigan for over 30 years.

Dynamike entertains children at birthday parties, communion parties, holiday parties, family gatherings, graduations, summer camps, etc. Kids get excited when they watch Dynamike's comedy magic acts. He knows how to influence himself towards day care centers so the children will understand what he expresses. Dynamike is a Kid Specialist.

Are you looking forward to have an event of all adults? Dynamike performs stand-up and walk-around illusions in that type of environment too. No matter if your occasion is a type of meeting or commercial activity, Dynamike always custom tailors his routines to fit your needs.

Your XXX County group will be entertained by a magician that will be backed by a total satisfaction, money back guarantee.
#content #written
  • Profile picture of the author recyclyetogreen
    Number 3! Because rest I don't think even should be considered because English and sentence formed are not correct and 4 and 6 are repeated too. Also, I would suggest to read number 3's content too as minor changes still requires because few sentences seems incomplete.

    Hope you understand what I want to say.
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  • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
    Banned
    They are ALL duds. And pitching kids and Adults Only at the same time? You out of your mind? Hire a copywriter or give one of the new guys here a crack at it. I'm sure somebody will jump at $50 in a PayPal payment before Christmas. In fact - give them a bonus if they have the copy to you within 24 hours. C.U. Detroit Clown.

    BTW got video?

    p.s. you don't need this...this just says "You may not be entertained" -
    Dynamike offers a full money back guarantee on all of his shows. If your XXX County group is not 100% satisfied, you will get your full money back.
    Update: I watched the video on your home page. Has voiceover and chipmunk music. No. You need to have a video introducing yourself - in your own voice - intercut with short clips from your shows.
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  • No. 4,5,3,1,2, then 6. Although all carry the same message someone in a hurry will have to look at no. 4 because it appears to be short and precise. Even though check out for grammatical and spelling errors in all.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    A guy I went to high school with is doing very well as a pro magician.

    Just visited his website for the first time. His home page is a blog and relies on social proof. I'm facebook friends with him and see his travel updates all the time--Mike is busy.

    His copy is not great, but this page does the job. Look at this promise:

    "Trust me, if you want to hurt yourself laughing and have tears rolling down your cheeks then consider [Mike] for your next event."

    Now that makes me want to buy. Except maybe that word "hurt"...let's tone that down a bit. Maybe I'll drop him a line about it...


    BTW your copy relies on FEATURES. Prospects are not interested in features. They want to know about results. You are offering an Experience. Tell us about it!

    And you definitely want different pages to promote Grown-Up (unless it's pornographic, I don't recommend using the word "Adult") and Kid events.
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  • Profile picture of the author Bazinga1980
    In my opinion - number 5. Well written and to the point. Good luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author omparkash
    Which content written best! Great question, I think take decision about it the owner have right.
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  • Profile picture of the author RobWynkoop
    Dynamike, I agree with Kaniganj - if you're indeed good, ask for some testimonials from your past gigs.

    Also, most definately separate the adults-only from the kids parties... maybe something like, " ... need entertainment for a corporate event? Dynamike can tailor his hilarious act to suit your needs.

    You don't need to sell them on the website. You just need them to call you, no? Once they call you, then you make the impression that gets you the booking.

    You just need to imply that you do more than kids birthday parties - without leaving the parents of school children thinking you're a foul mouthed Krusty the Clown...

    My 2 cents...
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