How can I improve my sales conversions?

"Finally a detox program that works"?

So they don't usually? You mean all I've been reading about detox is pants?

Oh no!

I'd best not buy any detox thingy, or my friends will laugh at me, as it seems they're known for not working.

That was close! phew, nearly bought it..




Other than that, I'd say 1% is pretty darn good.



B.

1% conversion is not too bad for this market. Apart from the really long
headline you need a lot more testimonials. Testimonials are what
sell these types of health products.

You need at least 20 testimonials ... a preponderance of evidence that
this plan works.

I would also change the background color to dark blue.

You can see a FREE video seminar on improving conversion at
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-Ray Edwards

Hi Sandy,

Here are some thoughts for you....

I've sold plenty of products with "ugly" websites. But you're in a pretty competitive niche, I would think hiring a designer to create a nice mini site may help conversions.

Again, this is competitive, so your headline isn't terrible, but you need to establish that your book stands above all of your competitors.

I don't think your headline conveys your best selling points. I may try something like...

"Discover The Breakthrough Detox Diet That Destroys Toxins, Sheds Weight Effortlessly, Gives You The Energy Of A 10 Year Old, All While Allowing You To Eat The Foods You Love...."

That's not perfect, just off the top of my head.

Another thing, it's not easy to scan. Most people online are going to scan your page first... I think you're over using bold and emphasizing things that aren't really important to the reader.

Finally, your initial bullet points... There are a lot of "qualifiers" that may turn readers away. For example...

" Have you heard of the immense benefits from detox diets, but don't know where to start?"

Nope, I haven't heard of the benefits, what are they?
OR
I know the benefits, and I know plenty of places to start. Why should I start here?

"Or, have you spent hours searching the internet for the perfect plan, but you're even more confused than before?"

No, I haven't spent hours searching the internet, and I'm not confused, this isn't for me.

" Did you start to follow a plan but fell off the wagon because were fed-up munching raw carrots while the rest of your family enjoys a tasty steak dinner?"

No...

These should be things like

"Would you like to...."

"Wouldn't It Be Great If..."

To be honest (not trying to be harsh), I don't think the sales page emphasizes the main benefits of the product enough.

As stated above, 1% conversions may not be so bad. But I think it could convert much better if you repositioned the product as a revolution in detox diets, had some professional graphics made, and either redid the copy yourself or hired a pro.

Good luck! The copy is well written, it just has some areas that could definitely use some improvement.

Thanks,

-Scott

You headline complete lost me, seems to wordy

"Who else wants to learn my 3 Level body detox system that promises to vaporize harmful toxins, melt away unwanted bodyfat, and explode your energy like a toddler on redbull"

That is a quicky headline that came to mind.

You could try adding in some reader involvement within the letter.

You can do this in a variety of ways, but a couple are:

• adding a short quiz about misunderstood or unknown facts within your niche
• having them sign a commitment about their goal to be healthier
• get them to write a short statement about their biggest issue...this could build to what your product will do to save them

Those are just a couple examples, but any way you can get them more involved in the letter the better. The more involved or personal you make it for them, the more likely they are to respond or buy your product.

~Sarah Johnson