I have the fastest internet available...the signal is beamed translucently via 3 satellites orbiting the earth...the signal is then immediately beamed to my hexadomal receiver in nano seconds.

Matter of fact...it's the latest in nano technology.

Your site took so long to load...the Chinese were alerted to the increased load of stellar transmissions...don't worry...we averted a scramble of air power through some quick negotiations.

When your site did load, my initial reaction was, WTF.

Still is.

You need to hire a competent copywriter...

Just a thought.

If you do paragraphs, it is easier on the eye than reading downwards. Also, anything that stands out as importand put in bold.

Good luck
victoria

You have an interesting idea, but the execution is awful.

You received similar comments last time you asked.

Again, you have an interesting germ of an idea, just poorly executed. Why don't just hire someone who can help you and really build it out?

- Rick Duris

Its a music product. A beats product. And yet...there's not a whisper on your page. Do you really think any potential beats producer is going to get excited over this offer?

That is quite possibly the worst salespage I've ever seen.

We interrupt this program to bring you some real entertainment - YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Work on the website. pack it in pretty paper and customers will come

YOur sales page needs a lot of work. as with other poster responses here your idea is a good one. I could bullet point some of the highlights and I would also add some images. A good place to get a product cover box is at fiverr.com. there you can find anyone to design it for $5. Chck out my site here. I wrote this copy. Maybe you should hire a copywriter. Get On American Idol: Secrets Revealed « My Idol Time

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I guess I don't get it. Is "sell beats" even a keyword? I guess if you have a bunch of beats that need to be sold...

I would go from a more industry angle. Does your product get them in touch with important people in the music industry? Does it tell them how to have dinner with Jay-Z? Or is it just another rehash of The Secret?

If I wanted to break into the music industry, first of all, I'd probably be looking for the keywords "break into the music industry" or something similar. I would most definitely not be looking for positive affirmations. And the fact that I'm more confused by your bonus than excited means that you didn't say anything about your main product that sounds interesting.

Success stories? Testimonials? What is SoundClick and why should I care?

Maybe give away a couple free samples to real writers and let them write something better that you can turn into a real sales page.

Also, headlines, pictures, formatting... an all centered page screams of 90's amateur "About Me" websites. Go to ThemeForest and get a template or something. Or even do it in Wordpress.

As it stands, your product might interest me if you sold it for $5. You need to add another $22 worth of dazzle to the site if you ever expect to do well with it.

You couldn't even be bothered to add a little please?

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Your site is good but i found very little content on it. You need to add some videos, pictures and some more information about your lesson. I hope that will work. Good Luck

Hi Wage,

A quick tip I'd give you is to make your first sentence big, bold, and dark red.

That's proven to grab attention and pull your readers into your copy.

And if they can't read... you can't sell 'em.

Good luck!

Carl

Hi Wage,

Your sales page does need a lot of work but it's a good start.

I've done a video critique of your sales page where I detail everything that needs to be improved here:

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
Cheers, Tim

There's really no way to be nice about this and still be honest. It's horrible. No design, no urgency, no imagination.

This is a perfect example of how trying to "save money" by doing it yourself could cost you thousands in lost sales...that is if you ever get a sale which I doubt.

Good news is, you've got a hot product. Hire a copywriter and designer. Stop trying to "save money" by doing it yourself.

Woah, this will have people selling their beats in 1 - 2 weeks? Even without any prior experience? You need proofs, vids, testimonials. The bonus, you need to prove that you know the secrets of Jay Z etc. How do you know them... There isn't even a pic of the product... Basically, its as everyone else said. You need a proper website with about us, contact details, proper copy, easy to navigate, simple design, loads of articles and free help guides. The problem is I'm thinking $27 isn't worth it as you haven't shown me value. Always Overdeliver...