17 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}
17 {{ upvoteCount | shortNum }}

Sales Letter for a video game

by Christianwins
14 replies
[Edit]: Thanks for all the feedback. Know what changes to make on it.

Hi,

Getting ready to launch an upcoming game we've been working on for over a year now, and going to split test a sales letter vs. the normal industry 'Features List Sales Page'.

My question is - What do you think is the best way to show it's benefits and the problem is solves to potential customers (because the only problem it fixes is removing boredom).

Any other thoughts on the topic of a sales letter for a video game would be great.

Thanks much,
Christian
#game #letter #sales #video
  • Profile picture of the author Andrew Gould
    Hey Christian,

    I think you're approaching this from the wrong angle - video games don't solve a problem so much as fulfill a desire.

    Sony absolutely nail it in this ad:


    And at the moment, your sales letter isn't creating any desire, or even the slightest bit of curiosity, about your game.

    I'm sorry to be so blunt, but your headline's terrible and it doesn't get any better from there.

    All I've got from it is that you think the emotional and social sides of gaming are important. And that your game is some sort of cross between Pokemon and a turn based strategy game.

    And that's it.

    That's simply not enough for me to buy.

    And if I did want to buy you don't even tell me which format(s) it's for, can I play it on my Mac... or will I have to use my PC... what about Linux... or (from the horizontal screenshots) is it iOS... or Android?

    A demo would be nice too.
    Signature

    Andrew Gould

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5800464].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Christianwins
    Thanks Andrew,

    That's what I wanted to know, how it came across. Will make some improvements on it.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5800575].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Uhh...

    Different. I've never seen a list of features about a video game before.

    What about how much FUN this game will be to play?

    I certainly didn't hear and wasn't sold on that!

    All you need is a hook--something that draws the reader to try playing the game, because they figure it's going to be FUN!

    Now there are different types of fun, of course...action fun, strategic fun, RTS fun, puzzle fun, etc. Your target market enjoys whatever specific type of fun this game lets them enjoy. Should end up being much shorter copy.

    Mr. Subtle did an AWESOME image & headline for a guy who was selling a Battlefield play guide. I found the thread, but the image was changed for another. I've asked him to bring the original back, if possible...that is an example of where to head with your sales message. It was bang on.
    Signature
    >> How To Grow Your Online Business [FREE Training Video, No Opt-In, from 10+ Year Vet]

    >> For Agency Founders: The Fast Shortcut To Selling SEO, Leadgen, Webdesign & Other Services
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5800726].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author ASCW
    I'd suggest making a trailer video - and letting them have limited access to the game for free.

    Example:
    When Shank's trailer debuted a few years back - I instantly was excited to play it.
    I mean it's just so over the top badass!
    Signature

    Site being revamped.

    If you want help with copy stuff, pm me.

    Cool.

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5801265].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Christianwins
    Thanks Andrew and Kaniganj - will take all this feedback and make some big improvements to the page.

    Appreciate all the ideas.

    -Christian
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5805823].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Christianwins
    OK - Here is taking the suggestions and making BIG changes. (ignore the formatting and placeholder graphics/video for now). Link to Sales Page
    Is this better/worse? What sticks out that interests or bores you?
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5807480].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Mr. Subtle's artwork is back:




    This is what you need working for you.

    "Most personalized strategy game"? Doesn't speak to me. What is it LIKE to play this game? Thinker's game? Action game?
    Signature
    >> How To Grow Your Online Business [FREE Training Video, No Opt-In, from 10+ Year Vet]

    >> For Agency Founders: The Fast Shortcut To Selling SEO, Leadgen, Webdesign & Other Services
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5812291].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Christianwins
    Hey Kaniganj,

    Thanks for your response but I don't think I quite get the concept of what I need to convey for it. Have spent several weeks trying to put into words why people should be excited about this game (I certainly am, but not sure how to convey that).

    Can you give me an example of what you mean for "What it is like to play this game", it's definitely a thinkers game. Like a cross between Starcraft, Poke'mon and chess. But not sure what that should look like in text.

    Edit: about Mr. Subtle's graphic/headline. I don't play battlefield but that doesn't get me at all interested in the product, probably for another type of audience.

    Appreciate the help,
    Christian
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5813331].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Scott Murdaugh

    I pre-ordered this 8-months in advance after seeing the trailer. I spend unhealthy amounts of time with it today.

    You don't sell video games with sales copy. Make me drool. Show, don't tell.

    -Scott
    Signature

    Over $30 Million In Marketing Data And A Decade Of Consistently Generating Breakthrough Results - Ask How My Unique Approach To Copy Typically Outsells Traditional Ads By Up To 29x Or More...

    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5814067].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author dhazrat
    BlackBerry Apps

    Triple Bottom Line has developed a wide range ofapplications that deal with telephony, messaging, networking as well as many web enabled applications or GPS applications.
    Triple Bottom Line has also developed applications that needed advanced knowledge of Telephony , SMS, messaging, networking, etc.
    Triple Bottom Line has developed many web enabled apps that let users upload texts, pictures, videos as well as automatically add their position onto community or custom built websites.
    Triple Bottom Line has developed apps that can automatically end either an incoming or outgoing call, detect when an SMS arrives etc.
    Triple Bottom Line has developed applications that can gather details like the user being called/calling , the call duration etc.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5830029].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author alfid
    You should emphasize the highlights of the game, and make an effort to place yourself in the shoes of your potential customers.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5874284].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author EllesBelles
    Don't look at the audience, so much as what they are doing.

    You will die a lot when you play Battlefield. So players will want to die less, and therefore buy the guide.

    Skyrim....was amazing. Watch that demo, posted above, and if you don't want to play it you'll be one of very few who didn't. Even I did. I played it for hours, and still do - it's no surprise it was one of the big hits.

    You need to give your audience what they want. Look back on the market research you did before you developed the game, and see what these people wanted. Fun without violence? More personalized gameplay? Whatever it was, that's what you need to highlight. But people playing games want excitement and fun, and your sales letter is missing that at the moment. In the nicest possible way, it's probably doing the opposite.

    I hope this has helped a bit

    E x
    Signature
    Social Media Strategist. Digital Storyteller.

    LinkedIn
    Social Media Consultant

    If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5874389].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author Czorny
    No copy can be compared to a proper demo/trailer.
    But only in case your product is not really a pile'o'poop.
    Signature
    El'Kazoo.ru - mumblin' about country music/музыка кантри in Russian
    {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[5875321].message }}

Trending Topics