Please Critique My Sales Page

7 replies
I've sold this guide for the past 5 years and would like to improve from the current conversion rate of 5%. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

#critique #page #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    Originally Posted by lacraiger View Post

    I've sold this guide for the past 5 years and would like to improve from the current conversion rate of 5%. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    My first thoughts were that a letter converting at 5% doesn't
    need to be critiqued but swiped. But then I said let me look
    at the price because that may be the reason for the high conversion,
    and I wasn't disappointed.

    So my first critique would be to raise the price. Think about the amount
    of money you are saving your customer. I'm sure if you raised the
    price your conversion would go up.

    -Ray Edwards
    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author Grain
    I think you should split-test the layout/design, and raise the
    price point. Imho, the "The Cheap Disneyland Tickets &
    Discount Tips Guide!" subhead can be reframed a little.

    Try changes with your traffic source and split-testing before
    changing any fundamentals.

    Kind Regards,

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    • I once did a sales letter when I used a "round" percentage like you've done - because the client insisted.

      It was 80%.

      Reviewing all the stats the true figure genuinely was -


      That's all I changed on the copy and it did bump the response.


      P.S. As the others said I would "test" a price increase.
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  • Profile picture of the author knish
    It's important you bring to the prospects the opportunity to buy at more than one place on the page. You never know what will trigger a person to buy and seeing the buy now button more than once is like asking for the sale more than once in real life.
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  • Profile picture of the author MonteMichaels
    I would also raise the price. You should have a small section that justifies the cost of the book, explaining how it should cost much more than the price.

    Sure it was talked about how others saved money, which is great, but the reader should know how you came up with the price to sell the book. It's one of those I should be charging $60 because you will easily end up saving $200 or $300 dollars on you next trip, but I'm only going to charge you $27 because I'm in a good mood.
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    • Profile picture of the author Formal Shorts
      Just from a grammatical point of view...

      "where to buy the cheapest Disneyland tickets"

      Missing a question mark

      "which park attractions are best/worst?"

      Would read better as

      which park attractions are the best/worst? ... or .... the best/worst park attractions?

      "best/worst places to eat?"

      Should be "the best/worst places to eat?" Otherwise your question reads "would you know best/worst places to eat?"

      "Your answer to these important questions are probably NO!"

      Pluralise answer or change "are" to "is"

      "Foregin Exchange"


      "Please spill the secrets BECAUSE I want to take my family to a memorable Disneyland Vacation for a fraction of the cost"

      take my family ON a memorable...

      "If for any reason that you do not find..."

      If for any reason you do not find...

      " can personally email me..." can email me personally...

      None of this will likely affect your conversions, but it wont hurt
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  • Profile picture of the author lacraiger
    thanks everybody for the useful tips!
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