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critique my squeeze page

by Barry Walls
8 replies
Seriously...

Do you suck at making money online? Have you just got fired from some crappy job? Do you need more income because your portfolio has been pummelled cos you're an idiot? Are you a bum marketer who's on his ass like all the other bums?
Worry no more retards!
Because here's a ball breaking, ass sucking job that even you can do! And whats more, you can earn more than minimum wage doing it! Infact, I earn over $658 dollars every day in 8 hours sitting on my ass.If you cant earn over $500 a day doing this...then get out the blue rope, because theres no hope for you.

So...if you're a loser whose about to get his house repossessed because you're not a real man and can't pay the mortgage, or if you're a skank whose married to such a man and can't wait to drop the dead weight that's dragging you down so you can get f***ed properly again, then enter your name opposite...and start earning some REAL MONEY. (It's green and made of paper...incase you forgot)
It's not too late to stop being a retard! Take the first step today and grow your balls back!
#critique #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author codecre8r
    Nice marketing tactic.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    Why don't you spend a couple hundo's of your
    money on Adwords and test it out, Jock?

    My opinion, it's obnoxious. Just my opinion.
    Put your money where your mouth is and see
    if you can find some people who like your style.
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    • Profile picture of the author Barry Walls
      Originally Posted by Loren Woirhaye View Post


      My opinion, it's obnoxious.
      Understatement of the year.

      Ive been messing around with trying out some totally off teh wall stuff for a while now. I remember when teh iphone came out, I read a review that was unreal but hilariously funny and 100% obnoxious...I clicked through the guys link and was completely transfixed on the text. I kept thinking...what is this guy going to say next????

      Ive been thinking about that for a long time now and how well it worked because it was so shocking. BTW...Im not like this really.

      Feel free to post your own version of this. I won't be paying money on adwords to test this though.

      I get the feeling you had some really strong feeling about me after reading the copy? Would I be right. Can you describe how you feel?

      BJ
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  • Profile picture of the author dejoliet31
    Doesn't work for me.
    Signature
    Simple Free Cash Cow Moneymaking System - The Lack of Start-up Money Is No Longer an Excuse
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  • Profile picture of the author codecre8r
    I agree that his copy is very obnoxious, but, if it were toned-down a little it would probably have some success. These days, there are quite a few people who are down on their luck and that message may speak to them.
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  • Profile picture of the author Loren Woirhaye
    I don't have a strong opinion of you actually. You
    wouldn't have any friends if you were obnoxious and
    abusive in real life so I think you are just putting on
    a show.

    As I said, if you believe guys will respond to this and
    buy your stuff, test it and see.

    The difference between what you are doing here and
    what the Rich Jerk does is he is funny. If you were
    to dress up like a wrestler and do a video with this
    script people might think it was funny. I cannot say
    they would buy anything, because clowning hurts
    credibility, but it might get popular on YouTube.
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  • Profile picture of the author codecre8r
    I think you could have gone a different way with the approach. I don't think you want to make the person feel like crap, rather, sympathize with them in a funny and unique way.

    Brainstorming this for two seconds, I came up with this:

    AdWords Ad:
    Ha! I Just Got Laid Off
    Find Out Why I Don't Care
    That I Lost My Crappy Job

    Landing Page Content:
    I don't know whether to be happy or mad that I got laid off from my crappy, dead-end job. I hated that place and everyone I came into contact with, but it did pay my rent and put food in my mouth. Being near homeless and hungry, I discovered a way to make money online that makes me happy I don't work for that jerk anymore...

    etc, etc...
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    • Profile picture of the author Nate_Volk
      I think it would be great in a video. There is something really raw and truthful about it. People lie about their financial and job status more than anything because they are deep down afraid people won't want to be around them if they aren't doing well.

      Put something like this on youtube and I'll bet you'd get a lot of hits.

      Message me and I can put you onto some great video tools and strategies.
      Signature
      www.8weekstoprofit.com A man with a simple goal: $333 a day in profit from any website in 8 weeks or less. Come follow along and we'll all learn together.

      Find me on Twitter under Nate_Volk.
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