Sales copy critique/review

by 10 replies
12
Hi Guys, how are you?

I'm currently making 250 euros a month on average selling courses to prepare people for an official English exam, for foreign students.

Could you please review/critique the following page and site with how you think it could be improved?

Link: First Certificate Exercises

Thank you a lot!

Jake
#copywriting #copy #critique or review #sales
  • HMM... I guess the site is okay.

    (At least it doesn't send buying alarms ringing in my head.)

    From a first glance, I think you can improve on the navigation tabs... While you would want a "buy" button above the fold, it's not going to help by placing a "buy" in the navigation bar. People need to be "opened" for a sale before being "closed".

    Most likely, if your brand is not prominent in the niche, then you probably won't have navigational queries leading to your site. It'll probably come from some earlier form of transactional queries. (which means you need quite a bit of preselling and convincing before leading them down a funnel to a 'close')

    The "Have a question?" portion at the right side is quite misleading. I clicked on it and it brought me to a email contact page instead of a Virtual Assistant. You might want to reframe it to be something like "Free consultation" or something along those lines...

    As for the body copy... it's pretty.. "meh". You might want a copywriter to rework parts of the text below. (I think that you need to get a "buy" button above the fold at least.)
    • [1] reply
    • I didn't mention that we have sold more than 12.000 units on Groupon , thats why there is a buy button.

      What we need to do is make more money on the website

      Are you a copywriter? How much would you charge to improve it?
  • Hey Jake,

    I've taken the Cambridge exam myself years ago, though the Proficiency one, and I know it is a lot of work to study for it. Your page should give more details on how the course works specifically, and also on how it will help people in the learning process -- just saying that it will isn't very convincing .

    Also, the call to action part is pretty weak. You mention nothing of the price, of the free 30 days that appear only after you click the "buy" button, the "You have everything to gain and nothing to lose" sentence is very cliche and isn't supported. Have you considered including a money-back guarantee? If you trust your product, you should definitely do that to make prospects feel at ease.

    Hope it helps,

    Sabina
    • [1] reply
    • Thanks for your comments Sabina!
  • Hi Jake,

    Here's a few very quick thoughts for you:

    You don't explain your offer. That is, you don't tell the reader exactly what they'll be getting in exchange for their money.

    Who are you/your teachers, why should your prospects listen to and trust you?

    It seems too cheap.

    I'd offer some sort of free trial, either in exchange for an email address or as a soft (bill-me-later) offer.

    And for a site offering English tuition, the writing is absolutely appalling and the attempts to sell are ridiculously clumsy.
    • [1] reply
    • Hi,

      Could you explain why the writing is appalling and why the attempts to sell are clumsy?

      Thanks

      • [1] reply
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  • There are some serious grammatical errors on the page. This is probably significant in terms of the subject you are addressing, despite the probability that your audience won't spot them. Why not have a writer run through it for you? There are some in this thread...
  • Banned
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