Sales Copy Review...Please

This needs some major work Will.

I would start by changing the font from Times New Roman to Arial so it's easier on the eyes.

Best of luck!

This is more of a comment on your offer than your copy. I did a search some time back looking for what you describe. I got lots of hits and ended up with a short bit of HTML code that redirects people via another domain I have for free. In fact, if you do a search on this forum, I'd bet you'd find at least a dozen threads with lots of similar solutions. My question is, why is yours worth the money you're asking? Not trying to be a party pooper, just wondering if you're trying to market something that can be had free without much effort. Good luck!

I personally like the LP you have just made and I think you should get some good conversions with it!

Wilson,

Great first sales letter... However, I would seriously test not using your instructional video... I would list the instructional video as a bonus and collect more enhanced testimonials that now addilionally relate to video too.

Oh, and btw.... I'd seriously consider a picture of yourself above the fold.

Cheers,

Rob

Rob,

Thank you so much for your feedback. Much appreciated!

Wil

Just a quickie - "Discontinued" is miss-spelled in the Benefits section...

And - this is just me - I don't really like Times Roman as body text... try Verdana? Arial?

James,

Thanks for your feedback. I am curious about the font comment. The CSS stylesheet is calling out Arial, and in all of my machines I see Arial, yet this is the second post in this thread saying that I am using Times New Roman...

Would you mind sending me a screenshot and details on your browser type/version?

Thanks!!!

Wil

Include a buy now button.

The line in blue colour which blinks Limited time offer or something like that doesnt looked too professional.

Just my view

Regards
Shakul

looks good

The prehead doesn't quite sit right for me. It states the obvious, and doesn't really lead into the main header. If you really want to keep it, I'd move it as a subhead, but still.. how about something else that actually leads in:

"You're losing money without even knowing it..."

Capitalize the "Warning" in the header, and bold it. If you're going to use a phrase like "Warning!", it had better be delivered with some force.

WARNING: Someone Is Stealing Your Affiliate Commissions!

Then the subhead could be a little more... mysterious, to pique curiosity.

"Discover How To Stop The Thieves And Protect Your Cash In Just 3 Minutes (See Video Below), Plus: Find Out How To Actually Increase Your Bottom Line With The Exact Same Technique..."

I'd also make more of the benefits of saving time and sales by being able to manage your affiliate links from one place. Speed of setting them up is one thing, but offers do change fast, especially in CPA market. Maybe a diagram showing all your links coming through the ERS instead of all going directly to the offer.

Oh, and one more thing:

"How about you? Do you hate losing the affiliate commissions you are entitled to?"

I do hate losing commissions, but the only time I "lose" them is when the sales are refunded. I don't know anything about the commissions that are stolen via link hijacking, so how would I hate to lose them? Perhaps you need to set that statement up a little more with an explanation of how you lose them without knowing it.

Just my 2c

looks pretty good...

I'd maybe stress that they can get better click-through rates so they
make more sales.

And why not do like a before and after explanation?

eg. ugly link VS. nice cloaked link

And yeah I get the ugly looking font too (Times NR)
in my firefox....

Stuart Stirling

I found your site very clean, easy to read, you had testimonials, over all a very good capture page.

My 2cents!

I thought it was most professional and right to the point!
Great job!