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Please critique my squeeze page......

by loi77
8 replies
Hi fellow warriors,

How are you today?

I really appreciate it if you could critique my squeeze page, especially the headline and the bullets:

Squeeze Page Profits Secrets |

Any suggestion for better headline and bullets?

Thanks in advance.


Regards,
David Loi
#critique #page #squeeze
  • Profile picture of the author DoWhatWorks
    Hi David,

    This seems well put together. You should split test this squeeze page against one where you only ask for their email address. Usually, the less people have to fill out, the greater the chance they will fill it out. I know most people always ask for a first name, but I never understood why. In this day and age, when an email says something like, "Dear John,", I don't think John is sitting there thinking, "Wow, David took the time to write me this personal email!" (lol). I think people know that the emails that go out are automated, so I believe that asking for a first name is not necessary any longer. Of course, this is just my opinion. You'll have to split test it yourself to see what works. I like the headline and the bullets though.

    -Terry


    Originally Posted by loi77 View Post

    Hi fellow warriors,

    How are you today?

    I really appreciate it if you could critique my squeeze page, especially the headline and the bullets:

    Squeeze Page Profits Secrets |

    Any suggestion for better headline and bullets? what about the layout of the squeeze page?

    Thanks in advance.


    Regards,
    David Loi
    Signature
    [MY COMPLETE RECURRING REVENUE BUSINESS PLAN] Every Step I've Taken To Build A Passive Income

    Complete, Step-By-Step, "Feel Good" Business Blueprint: Start A Legitimate Business Today.
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    • Profile picture of the author WittyBlogger
      Originally Posted by DoWhatWorks View Post

      Hi David,

      This seems well put together. You should split test this squeeze page against one where you only ask for their email address. Usually, the less people have to fill out, the greater the chance they will fill it out. I know most people always ask for a first name, but I never understood why.
      With all due respect, I disagree, Terry. It's common courtesy to ask for someone's name. Imagine sending mail to the same lead after 3 months, with the salutation going... "Dear abcdefg@ymail.com..."

      That's going into the B pile in your email. Junk mail. Delete.

      If you're a copywriter, you SHOULD know that the tiniest word change can warp conversions. Personalization is one of those tiny sparks needed to ignite conversions. Gary Halbert used it with huge effect in his Coat of Arms letter.

      So to the OP, you might want to split-test, but I think enough testing has been done with respect to this.

      I suggest that your headline only contain ONE idea. Squeeze pages are supposed to give "instant gratification". Everyone knows gurus make money with lists. Throw out the big guns straight away. Keep it short and simple.

      What's so special? What's going to bar your prospect from getting it?

      Your bullets can be spiced up further - try using more power words and "action verbs" to make each bullet more impactful.

      For example, don't frame your "examples" as "examples"! Make them swipeable. Fill-in-the-blanks. Demonstrations.

      In a squeeze page, they want fast, they want doeable and they want easy. Make it unique and you'll have a great optin rate.

      -wittyblogger
      Signature
      7-figure entrepreneurs aren't made overnight. You can make money online with a full time income through blogging and making words crackle with energy. ;)
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      • Profile picture of the author loi77
        Originally Posted by WittyBlogger View Post

        With all due respect, I disagree, Terry. It's common courtesy to ask for someone's name. Imagine sending mail to the same lead after 3 months, with the salutation going... "Dear abcdefg@ymail.com..."

        That's going into the B pile in your email. Junk mail. Delete.

        If you're a copywriter, you SHOULD know that the tiniest word change can warp conversions. Personalization is one of those tiny sparks needed to ignite conversions. Gary Halbert used it with huge effect in his Coat of Arms letter.

        So to the OP, you might want to split-test, but I think enough testing has been done with respect to this.

        I suggest that your headline only contain ONE idea. Squeeze pages are supposed to give "instant gratification". Everyone knows gurus make money with lists. Throw out the big guns straight away. Keep it short and simple.

        What's so special? What's going to bar your prospect from getting it?

        Your bullets can be spiced up further - try using more power words and "action verbs" to make each bullet more impactful.

        For example, don't frame your "examples" as "examples"! Make them swipeable. Fill-in-the-blanks. Demonstrations.

        In a squeeze page, they want fast, they want doeable and they want easy. Make it unique and you'll have a great optin rate.

        -wittyblogger
        Thanks very much for your advice.

        I really appreciate.

        I totally agree with you that personalization can make a huge different in your email marketing campaign.

        Computer generated or not, a person's name is the sweetest voice/word that he/she ever hears. Subconsciously, when you use a person's name, you gain their attention immediately.

        Thanks again for your kind words and wise advice.
        Signature

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      • Profile picture of the author DoWhatWorks
        Hi WittyBlogger,

        Thsoe are some good points you made. Actually, I should have clarified that if they split-test a form where they don't request a first name, that they should put those email submits into a completely different list, where the emails don't start off as "Dear abc@emailaddress.com". There are some well known copywriters who don't request a first name, for the reason I mentioned above (increased conversions). Mike Cowles is one person who advises against requesting a first name, as he states it lowers conversions. I see your point, regarding the beginning of the email. I think that it all boils down to your specific market and testing what works best. Perhaps another, "middle of the road" compromise" could be to send a link to your subscribers a couple of days or a couple of weeks later, offering them another free bonus and sending them to a second form, where you can then ask them for their first name, once they're more familiar with you. AWeber has functionality whereby, if someone joins list b, it will automatically remove them from list a, so you won't be double-emailing them the same information if they join a second list. It all just really comes down to testing what works best. :-)

        -Terry


        Originally Posted by WittyBlogger View Post

        With all due respect, I disagree, Terry. It's common courtesy to ask for someone's name. Imagine sending mail to the same lead after 3 months, with the salutation going... "Dear abcdefg@ymail.com..."

        That's going into the B pile in your email. Junk mail. Delete.

        If you're a copywriter, you SHOULD know that the tiniest word change can warp conversions. Personalization is one of those tiny sparks needed to ignite conversions. Gary Halbert used it with huge effect in his Coat of Arms letter.

        So to the OP, you might want to split-test, but I think enough testing has been done with respect to this.

        I suggest that your headline only contain ONE idea. Squeeze pages are supposed to give "instant gratification". Everyone knows gurus make money with lists. Throw out the big guns straight away. Keep it short and simple.

        What's so special? What's going to bar your prospect from getting it?

        Your bullets can be spiced up further - try using more power words and "action verbs" to make each bullet more impactful.

        For example, don't frame your "examples" as "examples"! Make them swipeable. Fill-in-the-blanks. Demonstrations.

        In a squeeze page, they want fast, they want doeable and they want easy. Make it unique and you'll have a great optin rate.

        -wittyblogger
        Signature
        [MY COMPLETE RECURRING REVENUE BUSINESS PLAN] Every Step I've Taken To Build A Passive Income

        Complete, Step-By-Step, "Feel Good" Business Blueprint: Start A Legitimate Business Today.
        {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[6175205].message }}
  • Profile picture of the author hellow0rld
    Add a video into for the lazy
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  • Profile picture of the author davemiz
    LOL.... wait a second.... your offer is that you're an expert with squeeze pages, yet you're asking for critiques to make it convert better.

    ironic, don't you think?

    Perhaps you should re-read your ebook or enter your name into your squeeze page and discover the secrets. :-)
    Signature

    “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”
    ― Dalai Lama XIV

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    • Profile picture of the author loi77
      Originally Posted by davemiz View Post

      LOL.... wait a second.... your offer is that you're an expert with squeeze pages, yet you're asking for critiques to make it convert better.

      ironic, don't you think?

      Perhaps you should re-read your ebook or enter your name into your squeeze page and discover the secrets. :-)
      Thanks for your comment.

      Yes, I did spend about 2 weeks to do research and write my free eBook. English is not my fist language and that's why it was taking me so long.

      With the help of my personal coach, I do know a lot about how to create high converting squeeze pages such as:

      - less is often more when it comes to squeeze page

      - make sure everything is above the fold because 80 percent of the visitors don't scroll down

      - no header graphic because it is distracting

      - no animation, again it is distracting

      - video is good but it can be harm conversion if it takes too long to load

      - headline should be benefit oriented to lure people in. It is within the first few seconds that visitors decide to leave or stay depending on the headline. so headline is the most important factor for conversion.

      - you must split test to find the best converting squeeze page.

      - use white background because it is easier to read.

      - Use black text with the exception of the headline to make it easy for readers to read.

      - building relationship starts from the ebook that you are giving away. That's why I decided to write my ebook to connect with my subscribers instead of just using PLR. That first chapter is title "My biggest mistake" to share my failures so they don't have to make the same mistake.

      - and much, much more.

      So I do know a lot more than others. But I am constantly testing and I have a genuine desire to be better than what I am doing now.

      That's why I am asking for fellow warrior's opinion. My squeeze page is already converting quite highly, but I want to do better. Especially with headline and bullets since English is not my mother tongue.

      It is the copywriting part for headline and bullets I have a bit of trouble with.

      I believe we never stop learning and I can definitely learn more from the great people here in WF.

      Any question please feel free to ask.
      Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author writerdame
    You can make use of testimonies to convince your prospects on why they should give you a try. Convince them more.
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