Please Critique My Book Title

by Jonathan 2.0 Banned
22 replies
So I've been reading The Main Forum and put together a quick idea for a book title (and sub title.) Because I'm very much an Apprentice/Newbie Copywriter I'd really appreciate your feedback.

(1. What I did right - if anything. And 2. What can be improved.)

The Ultimate Lucid Dreaming Guideâ„¢
Dream Yourself Into Experiencing
Anything You Desire. And Naturally Attract
More Health, Wealth, And Happiness.

Here are my notes: : )

The Ultimate Lucid Dreaming Guideâ„¢

Communicates it's the only book "They" (The Market) will need. Explains the content of the book. And, perhaps, that it's something of value and is "comprehensive."

Dream Yourself Into Experiencing
Anything You Desire.

A benefit derived from the knowledge that "They" (The Market) have several goals they want to accomplish through lucid dreaming. That (perhaps) they're lacking in the fulfilment of life. And then, the general benefit of anyone being able to lucid dream.

And Naturally Attract
More Health, Wealth, And Happiness.

I think the market for this book would also be familiar with "The Law Of Attraction." The word "Naturally" seems kind of easy. Then the general benefit of having more health etc.

...

Well. There you go. Many thanks for reading : )
#book #critique #title
  • Profile picture of the author Joseph Robinson
    Banned
    The phrase "dream yourself into experiencing anything you desire" is a weird way to phrase it in my opinion. Dream doesn't seem like the best verb to use there. "And naturally attract more health, wealth, and happiness" should not be a separate sentence either. Read it as a standalone sentence, doesn't make sense.
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Thanks Joe. What would you have done differently? (Please be specific ...)
      ...

      Hey shmens. Thanks. Something I forgot to mention is that it isn't my book, just something I wrote for someone else in the main forum. Thanks for the headline idea. : )
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  • Profile picture of the author shmerns
    Sounds like a great book.

    At first glance, it didn't capture me. In fact I had to look up the exact meaning
    of "Lucid" to see what you meant to convey.

    I would try some variations of this to see what else you come up with:

    Master Dream Guide: The Key To Understanding Your Dreams

    Great job, keep up the good work!
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    This May Just Be The Last Tool You EVER Use For Leads…
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    • Profile picture of the author KrisOlin
      Originally Posted by shmerns View Post

      Sounds like a great book.

      At first glance, it didn't capture me. In fact I had to look up the exact meaning
      of "Lucid" to see what you meant to convey.

      I would try some variations of this to see what else you come up with:

      Master Dream Guide: The Key To Understanding Your Dreams

      Great job, keep up the good work!
      Same here. Lucid escapes me.
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  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Subtle
    Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

    The Ultimate Lucid Dreaming Guideâ„¢
    ... titles of singular works are not protected under the trademark or unfair competition law. The US Patent and Trademark Office states: "Regardless of the actual relation of the title to the book," courts treat all single title works as "inherently descriptive" at best and "inherently generic" at worst - unless the single title has had "wide promotion and great success."
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Originally Posted by Mr. Subtle View Post

      Unless the single title has had "wide promotion and great success."
      Which book was that?
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      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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  • Profile picture of the author DoWhatWorks
    That sounds like an interesting subject. If I wrote this book, I would make the main title a "What's in It for Me?" benefit. So, I'd make the main title something like:

    "Get What You Want Now...Through Dreams!"

    or

    "How to Get Anything You Want Now, Through The Power of Dreams"

    These are just some ideas off the top of my head, but the main idea is to lead with the main benefit that the reader will derive from reading your book. Hope this helps a little! :-)

    -Terry
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Nice. Thanks Terry. I agree: If we could understand the most important “benefit” that would make a great headline/book title.



      Originally Posted by DoWhatWorks View Post

      "How to Get Anything You Want Now, Through The Power of Dreams"
      Liking it. : )
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    • Profile picture of the author masterz
      Originally Posted by DoWhatWorks View Post

      That sounds like an interesting subject. If I wrote this book, I would make the main title a "What's in It for Me?" benefit. So, I'd make the main title something like:

      "Get What You Want Now...Through Dreams!"

      or

      "How to Get Anything You Want Now, Through The Power of Dreams"

      These are just some ideas off the top of my head, but the main idea is to lead with the main benefit that the reader will derive from reading your book. Hope this helps a little! :-)

      -Terry
      Hi Jonathan, how about a little modification to Terry's title instead of just

      "How to Get Anything You Want Now, Through The Power of Dreams"

      how about...

      "How to Get Anything You Want Now, Through The Power of Dreams ---100% Guaranteed"

      OR

      "Get Anything You Want Now Through The Power Of Dreams No matter Your Present Status"

      regards,
      Paul
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  • Profile picture of the author maestro_mr
    "How would you like you have more health, wealth, and happiness in seven days"

    so the point is "what is the book for me" - get the readers attraction soon, maybe you can add time limitation, plus guarantee to your book

    CMIWW
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  • Profile picture of the author Cherie H
    I agree with DoWhatWorks! You are communicating directly with a larger market rather than a niche market.
    If you use words like lucid I think it puts off the general public if it appears too "airy fairy" but sounds like a great read! Good luck
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  • "Ready to take full control of your dreams? Find out how, and experience improved health, wealth and happiness as a result!


    Make your lucid dreams, a lucid reality.



    Just throwing a few ideas out there.


    Best of luck Jonathan


    Ben.
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  • Profile picture of the author new2d
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
      Banned
      Originally Posted by new2d View Post

      Start from scratch. The title is basically a ripoff of 90% of the get rich in your underwear books.
      Hi.

      Would my (I assume, proven) headline work in another market? (Where they haven't seen GRQ books?) I don't mind scrapping the idea altogether, however I have to know that people know
      what they're talking about.

      I don't mind people offering suggestions, in fact, that's what I asked for and that's OK ...

      (Like jackcarlo—who didn't comment on something he didn't know about. And Ben who communicated he was just offering an idea. Etc.)

      ...
      However if you're going to _“tell”_ me what to do, I think you should at least be qualified.
      Signature
      "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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      • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
        Howdy Jonathan,

        Can your book's content be about interpreting dreams?

        Whenever someone tells me their dream,
        they are looking for a meaning to it.

        Ready market there.

        Not sure about the track you are heading down.

        Best,
        Ewen
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        • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
          Banned
          Do you even need to use the word 'Lucid' in your title Jonathan?

          There's a rule of thumb in copywriting... to always use very simple language. Simple words.

          Now, if a good part of your target market doesn't actually understand the meaning of the word 'lucid' as it pertains to dream states, right there you're going to lose a good potential portion of your audience' interest.

          Could you not use something a lot more direct, simple and to the point? Something everyone can instantly relate to and understand? Might this work better?

          Do you really need to use the word 'lucid' in your book title?

          If you can get rid of it whilst still maintaining the overall appeal of your book to this specific audience, do so.

          Fair enough you might feel the book title isn't now appealing to the direct target market you're trying to reach but any simple word adjustment in the title will also attract other people to your offer buyers who otherwise may never have expressed an interest.

          So whilst you might feel you're losing out on the one hand, you gain on the other and it all equals out.

          For example, how about one of these book titles?...


          How to Understand and Interpret Your Dreams
          to Bring into Reality Anything You Desire


          Interpret Dreamscapes to
          Achieve Anything You Want


          Dreams and Their Meanings


          What Are Your Dreams
          Trying to Tell You?


          The lucid dreaming part you can include in one of the chapter headings inside.

          Warmest regards,


          Mark Andrews
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          • Profile picture of the author Jonathan 2.0
            Banned
            Many thanks Ewen and Mark. : )

            This is exactly why I come to this forum: (To learn more about Copywriting from experienced people.)

            Mark- I'm going to read your post (and headlines) again because there's a lot of great advice there.

            “What Are Your Dreams
            Trying to Tell You?”

            Really like that one. Simple, yet “compelling.”

            I know I mentioned it before, however it isn’t _my_ book. I wrote it for someone in the main forum and thought I’d get some feedback here.

            So thank you everyone for your suggestions. (If there’s more. Keep them coming. : )
            Signature
            "Each problem has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity."―Joseph Sugarman
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            • Profile picture of the author The Copy Nazi
              Banned
              Originally Posted by Jonathan 2.0 View Post

              This is exactly why I come to this forum: (To learn more about Copywriting from experienced people.)
              Uh Huh.

              Your title is a dead duck. A forgettable dead duck. Here's your title. All you need do is add a qualifying sub-title.

              "In Your Dreams"

              p.s. do a search on Amazon using "in your dreams". See all the books on similar topics - "Decoding your Dreams" and the like? Read the reviews for a whole heap of help with writing both the title and the copy.

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  • Profile picture of the author Wytnyt
    What I know about Lucid dreaming is that there's a way you can condition yourself to be sort of conscious during your dreams. You'll have complete control of what's going to happen. Fly away. Swim on sand, etc...

    Another side to lucid dreaming is if done incorrectly, you stay awake while your body is sleeping. You can see what's going on around you, but you can't move your body at all. This kind of lucid dreaming lets you see "shadowy figures" and demon-like beings walking around.
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    • Profile picture of the author Mark Andrews
      Banned
      I've done my fair share of lucid dreaming. Can be great fun too.

      Until about 5 years ago I don't recall any of my dreams actually being on this planel at all. All of them were in outer space somewhere. Going to sleep was fantastic. Looking forward nightly to the theatre of wonders about to unfurl themselves in the sleeping subconscious mind.

      Completely controlling the experiences, directing the action, going where you wanted to go and seeing exactly what you wanted to see within the dreamscape itself.

      It was better than watching TV.

      I thoroughly looked forward to it every night.

      Invaribly the dream would start off with me standing still on a planets surface. Poised. Still. Breathing deeply. Inhaling in. Exhaling out before starting to run with giant strides across the landscape getting lighter and lighter before taking flight.

      What felt like hours, I could soar around the solar system or the galaxy for example, doing gigantic figures of 8 in elliptical arcs bouncing off Saturn's rings at the most astonishing speed imaginable. Bloody great fun. Used to love it.

      I've seen dual translucent luminous green 'glass' see-through pyramids separated at the base by a wafer thin gap, each pyramid spinning slowly in opposite directions with a guaze of trillions of mathematical equations inside them. One pyramid facing up, the other pointing down.

      Glided across, floating in 'mid-air' to try to make sense of the equations, oh man, just great fun.

      Coming back into my physical body each morning to deal with the daily chores of the day by comparison was just frightfully boring.

      I remember once I took the conscious decision in one dream to explore the outer edges of the universe. Taking off I took off faster than anything I've ever experienced before. Leaving not only this solar system and galaxy but many other galaxies also. Like travelling through a wormhole only without the drugs to help me. This was just purely a full on lucid dream.

      So I get to the edge of the known universe, I'm keeping up with it's rate of expansion standing there motionless on the edge unsure of myself whether or not if I take this leap into the great emptiness beyond whether or not I would still be 'bouyant'.

      Remember thinking stuff it, just go for it Mark.

      And so flew off again beyond our universe across the great divide whereupon I eventually came to a glassy black shimmering sea with small wavelets with strange lights on the surface. And now 'stood at the shore' I wondered within the dream the wisdom or folly of going further.

      Already I knew I could not remember my way back again or indeed how to get back within myself, my physical body back on earth.

      But still wanted to explore further, so set off to fly across this strange sea in a place beyond anything. And eventually came to a shore where I was told by a voice within yet without, don't you dare even think about coming any further.

      So content with the experience I turned away and started the flight back home pounding back into my body eventually and waking up with a start wondering what the dickens I was doing back here again.

      Blimey, I've rambled a bit again. Sorry Jonathan, you can get back on track now, don't know where I was for a few minutes. Suddenly I was transported right back there again lol.

      Thanks for bringing up the memory. Good times. Good times.


      Mark Andrews - 'The Celtic Druid'
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  • Profile picture of the author atlantarobin
    Change "experiencing" to "achieving" or something similar. People want something tangible, even when that's only an experience.

    Also, try to use action verbs. "Experience xyz," instead of "experiencing xyz." "Achieve xyz" instead of "achieving xyz."

    Just my thoughts...
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