Sales page not converting

Eric,


I'll be happy to give you some advice once I can access your website. Keep getting an "Internal 500 server error". Get your site up, and I'll have a look and give you some pointers.



Ben.

Hi Eric,

Here's a few quick thoughts for you:

Your traffic may be looking for work, but are they looking to become consultants?

It's not immediately clear what the page is about - the "Find Computer Job Faster" header thing is neither particularly relevant or well written.

The font's too large.

The site design seems at odds with the product.

It's not clear who the guide is for.

The whole "what's-in-it-for-me?" factor is sorely lacking. You need to get focused on exactly what your guide is, what problem it solves and what the benefits are. At the moment it's far too vague.

You need more proof and credibility elements.

Why hide the price, especially when it's low?

Hope that's some help to you.


[EDIT] The link worked at first, but now I'm getting the same error as Ben.

What's wrong? Pretty much everything. Starting with this grammatically incorrect dud of a headline - "How to Find Computer Job Faster and Make More Money"

It's either "How to Find A Computer Job Faster and Make More Money" or "How to Find Computer Jobs Faster and Make More Money".

Got it, cheers.


Sorry to say it, but I'm with Mal on this - you need a complete rewrite. You're not hitting any emotions with that letter. No one's going to even bother to start reading after that headline - it needs to be started from scratch.

Perhaps try a headline such as:

"Got a degree in IT but no work? Ready to take control of your OWN finances? Get started TODAY!"

I dunno, that's something I whipped up quickly - but can you see how it targets people's dreams (of being self-employed and financially self-reliant) and emotions? It has a high energy that people will respond to.

You've got to get your reader excited about what you're selling them, otherwise no one will even bother looking.


Best of luck eric,


Ben.

The ideas in the text are good, but I agree with the others that you need a rewrite.

You start with so many questions... Mix the questions with statements and mix short sentences with long ones. It keeps the reader from falling asleep or clicking away. Read you copy out loud. Where it doesn't flow easily change it till it does.

I agree with Mal that you have a grammar problem. And not only in the headline. The same goes for "According to BusinessWeek article". It's "According to a Business Week article". Or "Today, consulting became a major opportunity". It's "Today, consulting has become a major opportunity". Have your copy checked by an editor.

And using "How to" is indeed effective, but don't overdo it.

Good luck!

1) Consider changing the background. Using a Window's 7 with a fairly strong connection right now - but the loading took a while. Keep it simple. Sales copy on a white background would probably suffice. Don't think folks looking for a job would care too much if your site was ugly anyway.

2) Other than the headline, I noticed a few other "simple English" errors as well.

For instance: Did you sent out tens, even hundreds of resumes without getting an interview or even a call back?

AND

Did you spend hours on the internet looking for open positions and applying for jobs and you still did not get a job offer?

Plus, the sentences read funny. Did you spend hours? Why not make it present tense? Especially since these people are still hunting for a job?

Do you spend hours blah blah blah...

3) Besides reading funny, they're also generally very long winded. Try mixing things up. Short sentences. Long sentences. Medium length sentences. Makes it easier to read.

Note: keep the opening line short if you can.

4) Back to the headline (apologies for lack of organisation). Personally, it doesn't feel like there's much emotion being conveyed in it. I know, it's not easy to do this. I struggle a hell of a lot with this aspect - and I just write articles for people.

5) Go easy on the bolding. Makes it tougher to read.

6) Your bullets state features - try conveying emotionally impacting benefits instead.

7) I don't know if this is a big issue, but I find it weird that your paragraphs and your subheads have the same font size. From what I've read, the primary purpose of subheads is to break chunks up. Make things look less intimidating. I don't know if this is entirely true, but if your subheads are the same size as the body - this kind of blends it together. Hence, defeating the purpose. Am I right on this folks?

8) You should spread the Order Now button throughout the copy more.

9) Why not send the testimonials higher up as well?

10) I don't see your name or signature (at the very least, name) anywhere in the copy. There's literally no personal touch from you.

11) Buy Adweek by Joe Sugarman. Also, check out a bunch of critiques people have given here as well. Furthermore, check out the sticky that says "what to do before asking a critique" or something like that. And finally, consider hiring a really good copywriter. There's a lot more that could be improved in your copy. Reading Adweek should open your eyes to most of them.

Cheerio

Edit: Try increasing the price as well. Seems to me that your manual has the potential to save lives (at the very least financially). $9.99 (I think $9.95 would be better) gives me the impression that this is something I could find in any old library.

Respectfully, you could have the BEST copy, and the promotion is still a fail.

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY in the the job market, cares about becoming an "independent computer consultant."

The term is just too broad, undescriptive, weak, and unappealing. IT folks do not identify with it.

Let's say a person wants to be a consultant and hang out their shingle, your book would probably help them. But they probably think of themselves as an IT security consultant, or SAP consultant, or Windows Server network engineering consultant, or a DB2 consultant or whatever.

----

Here's what's worse: You can't market yourself as an independent computer consultant and survive. Nobody will hire you.

Companies, large and small, want to hire people within specific IT niches.

Generalists can't survive.

----

Ask me how I know. Back in the early 80s I was on the board of the Independent Computer Consultants Association.

Independent Computer Consultant Association | Get the right answers here - Advice from Professional Techies to Business Entrepreneurs

Today their website is broken and dated. If they have more than 1000 dues paying members today, I'd be surprised.

ICCA struggled for 30 years even though IT has grown to be one of the largest capital expenditures of all big companies. IT consultants are a HUGE line item of the Fortune 2000. (There's a big reason for this which isn't relevant to the conversation.)

As a software consultant, once I figured out the "too broad" problem, I bailed and decided to focus on a specific IT niche.

----

Here's a strategy to consider: Based upon your research, who are the most in demand consultants of major corporations?

Pick one. Modify your product specifically for them. Target just them and get to know them as a market unto themselves.

For instance, if you target DB2 consultants, pepper your work (and copy) with terminology a DB2 consultant would appreciate. Find out who the top DB2 consulting firms are, and let prospects know they'll be able to compete AND WIN lucrative contracts against them.

You could really have some fun with this.

Once your DB2 effort converts, move onto the next big IT niche.

----

Let me put this to you another way: A few years ago, I was working with a dog training info product publisher.

He wanted to boost sales. So we targeted his dog training books to specific breeds. Like "How to Train Your Collie"

Definitely made a difference in sales.

- Rick Duris

Duplicate post

The best way to improve your sales page is to do a A/B Split Testing. Google Optimizer may be of some help to do this.

Is there something wrong with forum right now and last night. I posted my last reply and did not see it and then tried reposting it and the page just kept refreshing. Right now some graphics are missing.

Rick,

Thank you for such detail reply.

It is interesting that you brought up ICCA. When i was starting out 12 years ago i used to read their site, materials etc. to learn about the industry. I actually chose domain name and main theme for the site from ICCA.

The reason i used independent computer consultant is because i thought it was generic term that IT people would identify with. While i agree that creating sites specific to skill is more useful and profitable in the long term right now i am trying to establish viability of this ebook and whether it is worth spending more time on it.

Would you say that "computer consultant" "computer contractor" or "IT consultant" are better terms? There used to be few books by i believe Janet Ruhl that had "computer contractor/consultant" in the title.

Andrew and Rick -

No ass kissing intended. Just wanted to thank you both for going to great lengths to make every post well thought out, constructive, and educational. It benefits not just the OP, but those of us who silently follow threads as well. Thank you for what you do, guys.

I will write the perfect analogy for you using music.

A newbie will approach music, and start playing notes of a melody, but they will always put the notes exactly ON beat. Whether its 1/16th beat to 1/2 beat to 1/4 beat they always put it right on the number they see in their sequencer. This creates a robotic, emotionless, feel to the music.

Pros always offset the timing of their beats. So they don't always hit at the same fractions of time. This creates a strong groove to the music, which is what really creates the emotion. Listen to Benassi - Satisfaction, perfect example. The bass is as organic as they get. Off beat, offset, it spins and sways. Unstable, but driving forward at lighting speed.

In writing, there needs to be "swagger", its the literary translation of groove. You need to preplan and structure your writing, have a push/pull sequence to it. But it needs to be organic, lots of due dillegence in form, work peoples emotions.

To do this, you must challenge them. Like you would in person. This takes poking individual emotions, pick 3 of the LF8. Pry into them and rotate as you work their emotions. Drive deeper, build the tension in their minds. They should feel the anxieties but not see you being the trigger of them.

Telling stories can do that, powerful analogies. Best tip, go read a best selling romance novel. When you see a talented writer build emotion, tension, resolution, it helps you adopt it to your own writing.

-Red

YOu have to step by step.

1) dont use PPC -investing huge money will not give you client
2) check the glossary of your site in google
3) enhance your design
4) work on seo.
I think this will help you