I request your eagle eyes

Hi Laurence,

Here's a few points for you:

Space it out more, don't center your body copy, and make your headline stand out more.

The first two lines of your headline seem to be talking to different audiences. To me, the first is aimed at someone wanting to become a freelancer, while the second is aimed at someone already freelancing and wanting more work. You need to get clear on who you're targeting and then write the copy just for them.

"job listings and other information" - This is all you're telling your reader about your product, expand on it, I'd want to know more about what I'm getting for my money.

"This Report Is All You'll Ever Need" - Ken McCarthy advises going through your copy looking for any instances where your reader might say "so what?" or "bull****!". And this line is a definite "bull****!" line, if you're going to make a big claim you need big proof (but any proof at all would be a starting point).

"You won't believe your eyes" - Same as above.

"I could sell this for $100" - And again.

"financial freedom" - Last one (this just comes out of the blue, it's quite a jump going from a list of links to "financial freedom" when you haven't built up to it at all).

I don't follow the WSO forum anymore, but I'd bet the USD is still king and I'd stick with it, otherwise you're forcing people to find out what $7 AUD is in real money. (And if you're selling it for that on your site, it needs to be cheaper for a WSO).

No guarantee?

For me, your copy doesn't the question of "Why would I pay you for a list of links?". I know you say it's a time-saver, but if I'm looking for work, chances are I've got time, it's the money I don't want to waste.

And keep in mind that although no-one reads long copy, everyone hates it, it's all a scam, etc., etc. - short copy's harder to write than long copy.

Thank you Andrew. You make some valid points. I am going to work on it right now and then replace the old version with a better one. I do appreciate the time you have taken to give me your expert opinion.

OK Andrew,

Based on your comments, Here is a new version for anybody to see and hopefully give me some more feedback before I post it.

So below is my new sales letter and I hope more people will give me some constructive feedback.

Do You Want To Work As A Freelancer?

Or Are You Having Trouble Finding Enough Freelancing Work?

Then Look No Further!

This Report is What You Have Been Looking For To Start Or Boost Your Freelancing Career.



Grab it NOW!


This report will save you lots of time and effort searching for sites that offer you freelancing work of any kind.


Whether you’re a writer, website designer, blogger, product creator or anything else, you will find loads of opportunities to utilize your skills within the links in this report.



There are more than 100 different links to sites that list sites that have tons of job listings, other sites that have job listings themselves, including bidding sites and the fiverr.com style sites, blogs offering career advice, business building tips and plenty of other useful information you can use to build your successful freelancing business
Time is your most valuable commodity. Don’t waste it by searching the internet aimlessly when everything you’ll ever need is supplied here in one place.



Yes, you may have seen some of these sites before, but there are plenty you have not seen and having them all in one place, on an excel spreadsheet where you can make your own notes relative to your specific skills is perfect.


It could take you days, or even weeks, to go through every single link within this report so the sooner you start, the sooner you can boost your career.


The bargain price for Warriors is only $7.00



Even though I KNOW this report will help you in more ways than you’ll expect, I’m offering you a 60 days, no questions asked, money-back guarantee.





$7.00 is a small price to pay for everything this report contains.


But it’s your choice.


Spend your time and effort Googling to find sites that have work or simply open up your spreadsheet and go through the links in this report one by one.



How much is your time worth?


Grab your copy now!


Only $7.00

OK. Please forget everything I have written in my crappy Sales letters.
I decided to use an expert and Mark Andrews is indeed an expert.
My WSO hopefully will soon be approved and then it will be available for buying.
I will post here when it is available too.

Now it is bedtime Mark.