Vote or Opinion on 4 Headlines

by gregw

Posted: 15 years ago 18 replies

COPY WRITING

I have four headlines for a new software package and I would appreciate it if you could give me your opinion, or vote for the one you think is best...

If you have a better idea I'd like to hear it also.

I appreciate any help you can offer...

Headline #1
"Generate An Avalanche Of Free Traffic To Your Website In A Matter Of Minutes"

Headline #2
"Discover How To Instantly Attract Thousands of New Visitors To Your Web Site And Explode Your Profits By 377% Virtually Overnight With The Use Of Web 2.0 Promotion"

Headline #3
"Discover How A Struggling Web Site Owner Stumbled Upon Web 2.0 Traffic Secrets That Took Him From The Bottom Of The Search Engines To The Top In Days.... Now You Can TOO!

Headline #4
"Finally, A Blazing-FAST, New, Revolutionary Web 2.0 Submission Program That Instantly Floods Your Web Site With Targeted Traffic, Increases Your Online Visibility, Improves Your Search Engine Rankings, And Helps You Reel In Profits Like A Top Marketing Guru"

The webpage is here: Social Buzz Master - Social Media Optimization Productivity Tool

and I'll be running a wso soon before I launch.

Thanks,

gregw

#headlines #opinion #vote

Loren Woirhaye 15 years ago

#1. - it's less than ideal but at least it's not a dissertation like the
others.
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Woody C

15 years ago

Originally Posted by gregw

Headline #2
"Discover How To Instantly Attract Thousands of New Visitors To Your Web Site And Explode Your Profits By 377% Virtually Overnight With The Use Of Web 2.0 Promotion"

This is my favorite of the bunch. I would go straight to the point, and keep it short. Show only benefits in the headline, then explain how and why in the copy (ie Web 2.0 and Social Bookmarking). Leave them wanting more after the headline

When I hear the word "Discover" I feel that I am about to purchase something to read. You have software.

So I'd shorten it to "Instantly Attract Thousands of Visitors To Your Web Site And Explode Your Profits by 377% Virtually Overnight..."

Thanks

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travlinguy 15 years ago

Most long headlines bog the reader down but these actually flow pretty well considering their length. I like #2 and #4 with #4 slightly edging the other.
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Sarah Johnson 15 years ago

I like #2 mostly because it uses an exact figure the reader can grasp onto. (As long as you prove that number in the copy. If you don't the reader may feel tricked and therefore not trust you.)

But I would also try and shorten it. Make it a bit more concise.

~Sarah Johnson
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DerrickLamont Banned 15 years ago

i think i will go with number one.
and sometimes you don't wanna make it to long

yes i would go with #1 that's my choice
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SEOSteve 15 years ago

Tough call

- I like #2 but I'd shorten it to:
Instantly Attract Thousands of New Visitors To Your Site And Explode Your Profits By 377% Virtually Overnight

And then mention Web 2.0 in a sub-head like this:
Discover How To Unleash the Awesome Power of Web 2.0 Traffic On Your Site Now With Social Buzz Master 2.0!

Or re-phrase as a question:
Who Else Wants To Learn How To Instantly Attract Thousands of New Visitors To Your Site And Explode Profits By 377% Virtually Overnight?

Hope this helps!

Steve
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nata_sha 15 years ago

#2 but probably a shorter version like

Attract Thousands of New Visitors To your website Overnight & Explode Your Profits By 377%

Besides, #4 ??? that's not a heading, it can qualify for a paragraph thou
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gregw 15 years ago

Thank you all kindly... I wasn't able to respond because I was between airports traveling and arrived at my destination late last night. At which time I promptly fell asleep.

So far it looks like:

#1 - 3 votes
#2 - 6 votes (some mods)
#3 - 0 votes
#4 - 2 votes

and then some new suggestions based on modifications...
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drewanderson 15 years ago

"Flood Your Website With 100% Free Traffic In A Matter Of Minutes With Simple Web 2.0 System" Possibly?
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-Drew
Drew@The-Successful-HomeBusiness.com
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IRON_STRONG 15 years ago

Get more traffic. Guaranteed.
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- 2 replies
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- IRON_STRONG 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Hugh Thyer
  
  Too short Josh. Its got to be at least 50 words.
  
  I Know Right? what whas i thinking. lol What customer would want to get straight to the point.
  
  Thanks
  
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- MaskedMarketer 15 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Hugh Thyer
  
  Too short Josh. Its got to be at least 50 words.
  
  I think im on to something here...
  
  How Would You Like To Instantly Discover a Proven Method That Generates an Avalanche of Free Traiffic to your Websites in a Matter of Minutes, Attract Thousands of New Leads, Explode Website Sales and Profits , by ATLEAST 377% Virtually Overnight Using Web 2.0 Promotion- Better Yet, Would You Like to Learn How A Struggling Website Owner Stumbled Upon These Web 2.0 traffic Serects That Took Him From The bottom of the Search Engines to the VERY TOP - Only in the Matter of Days? Its Blazing Fast, New, Revolutionary Web 2.0 Submission Program, That Instantly Improves Your Search Visibility by 679% By Tomorrow- Gauranteed!
  (or I PAY YOU Double Your Money Back)
  
  Read on...
  
  (what.. you never read a 100+ word headline before?
  
  Thanks
  
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IRON_STRONG 15 years ago

LMAO wow that is insane im sold. Butseriously not to ruin your thread bro, ijust think short and to the point would be better. im fining it works better for all of my sites.
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- dannycapri 15 years ago
  
  Option 2 gets my vote, shortened to:
  
  "Discover How To Instantly Attract Thousands of New Visitors
  To Your Web Site And Explode Your Profits By 377% ?"
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  ZelimirGraf 15 years ago
  
  I`d work on the number one, it`s the pithiest one in the bunch, tweak it a little, other ones make me yawn, to loooooong.
  
  Thanks
  
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  Custom WordPress development, landing page creation & copywriting with over 150+ successfully completed projects with A+ grades from our clients - check it out at https://webconstructors.org. Our services include: Corporate web design | WooCommerce development | Real esteate web development | E-mail marketing
  
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bigcullie 15 years ago

Headline #1
"Generate An Avalanche Of Free Traffic To Your Website In A Matter Of Minutes"
Great but not much detail as to how.

Headline #2
"Discover How To Instantly Attract Thousands of New Visitors To Your Web Site And Explode Your Profits By 377% Virtually Overnight With The Use Of Web 2.0 Promotion"

I feel 377% is to specific, as an engineer I would question how you came up with that figure. Because of my strong Scottish accent, I run when is see Web 2.0.

Headline #3
"Discover How A Struggling Web Site Owner Stumbled Upon Web 2.0 Traffic Secrets That Took Him From The Bottom Of The Search Engines To The Top In Days.... Now You Can TOO!

Better submbled upon could be replaced by "used"

"Discover Exactly How A Struggling Web Site Owner used Web 2.0 Traffic Secrets That Took Him From The Bottom Of The Search Engines To The Top In Days.

Headline #4
"Finally, A Blazing-FAST, New, Revolutionary Web 2.0 Submission Program That Instantly Floods Your Web Site With Targeted Traffic, Increases Your Online Visibility, Improves Your Search Engine Rankings, And Helps You Reel In Profits Like A Top Marketing Guru"

The best. however #3 suggests more humititly in teaching how you achieved this. Some times dramatic head like really grab you attension, then fall flat when you buy the product.

The title is so important, but you already know that. I hope this helps.

Gordon
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Raydal 15 years ago

You have my permission to swipe the one from this site,
it did a whopping 15% conversion!!

Free Traffic - The No-Click Traffic Secret Revealed!

-Ray Edwards
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The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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