Help Wanted-Please critique my landing page

This is so specific I wonder where you are getting traffic?

Perhaps your traffic is not targeted enough.

I had to scroll to read the whole headline. You'll want to create a narrower layout.

You hit the visitor with the price immediately, which probably turns a lot of them off.

Change the headline to be 1) All one color 2) Benefit promising

The video is pointless fluff. And, like the letter, doesn't really address the specific problems. Being intimidated by hazardous areas is almost off topic.

Get some testimonials. People pay big for cure, little for prevention, you'll have to figure out the immediate pain the reader has. And being intimidated by hazardous areas ain't it. Too many will pretend they don't have the problem, you want to point out how common accidents are, the 7 "warning signs" a catastrophic incident will happen within days, etc. (That's the sort of thing you should put in the video.)

Nobody cares how easy or hard it is if they aren't compelled it's something to be concerned about. You think it's a foregone conclusion everyone should be concerned -- but they don't.

A slicker layout might help. A picture of a smiling phone
operator in the corner will probably help to.

I'd say spiff-up the whole packaging, copy too, and
double the price.

I'd say put the whole page in a table 600 or 650 pixels wide, and have a header graphic with the theme of industrial safety (you can probably get one done at elance.com or rentacoder.com for a reasonable price). Make the headline all one colour - with your sort of market I'd suggest dark or navy blue.

Put the price further down at the end. Also the video is half on the opening screen and half off. Put that further down as well. The testimonials are good, so keep them near the top. Avoid the royal blue and the red as text colours - they just look amateurish. Keep to a theme of colours, and as I say this market would probably expect darker colours as being more professional looking.

Imagine what the target market's worst nightmare is, and then graphically describe it as something that might happen to them if they don't buy and read your course. What's the price of your course compared to their own safety, and even life? And so on.

Hope this helps, and best of luck.

I would recommend you to center the page and improve its design a little. Put some boxes over there with testimonials or something and you should get a higher conversion rate.

I think the website needs to be more eye catching. Maybe a different color back ground and a colorful header or border. Never know, anything might make a difference.

You may add table of contents to your sales page or a sample chapter that can be downloaded before the purchase.

For me, there is too much going on in the way of font sizes and colours. It does need to be slicker, and a bit more cohesive. As it is, it doesn't sort of hang together, it is all over the place.
I'm sure you will sort it out, the content is fine...even I understand it and industrial site safety isn't something I know a lot about!

The first thing that jumped out at me was that I would have been more engaged in your page if it were centered. There is a ton of info. Maybe put more of it in a camtasia video and tighten it all up a little more.

The moving images in the camtasia video distracted me from reading the text next to the images. I would put an opt in form above the fold and give something away (free report or case study, free lesson) if they opt in, that way you can follow up with them later if they don't buy today.

A lot of the copy is pretty good, but the presentation is the problem:
--The entire site looks like a kid did it, especially the headline.
--The headline itself is hard to read and the capitalization needs to be standardized.
--The testimonials need to be more specific. Anyone can throw up "An engineer...". Does that person have a name? The company name is good, but you need more. I'm always suspicious of generic-looking testimonials because they sound like they were made up. What exactly did it help these folks do? What was the Halliburton engineer looking for that he found in the course? Can we get some examples of what the course covers in the testimonials?
--Build value before you give a price.

Good work. But the color needs to be changed and I recommend using Times New Roman font to make the copy look user friendly. Align the video to the center, you can do that by using html coding using the align center code.

Hi Sam,

I suggest you google for "hazmat training video" and see what ideas you can swipe from other sellers in your same niche.

Regards,
Allen