[DELETED]

Raza,

I pretty sure both of these landing pages are going to bomb. Sorry.

LP #2 just doesn't seem credible on so many levels:

• Training is "hard"
• The "Queen" imagine doesn't work
• Model just isn't believable

Also, there is no hook or pain story.

Perhaps the "Barbie Girls" pain point is worth developing.

Also, "Women over 30" is vague. (btw, why would a 30 y.o. resonate with a 21 y.o. girl? Different age group.)

Are these women with 1 kid? 2? 3?

Are these career women with balancing jobs, kids, and love life?

BTW, this would be a cool headline:

Attention Working Women between 30-35 years old




Adam


What is the PPC copy you've using to direct to these landing pages? (You can PM me if you don't want to publiclly share this).

Look like a model???

Unless you're deliberately sub-niching to the .001% of women who think it's possible for them to look like a model, AND you sell some high-ticket product in your back-end process, your promotion is doomed to fail.

And work like an athlete???

You're kidding right? Most people don't want to work to lose weight... they want to eat everything in sight during the day and miraculously lose weight while they sleep.

It's pretty obvious, you don't know your market very well.

VL

Excuse me for asking but is this an affiliate product or your own product?

Hi Raza,

I've seen many split test results for landing pages,
and here are a few of the insights gained...

1 Have your sign up form at top right.

2 Have the sign up form loud with stylish graphics

3 Have a benefit call to action button within the sign up box

4 Have a image of a person under the sign-in box and a audio message which restates the
benefits of signing up

5 Have 3 or 4 bullet point benefits in a light blue or light pink
soft box to the left of sign up box

6 Have symbols of authority at bottom

7 All this seen as the reader hits the page, and leave everything else out below.

Once you get that layout up and tested, then you can make individual changes within those 6 blocks.

Best,
Ewen

P.S. Outside internet marketing, sales and squeeze pages, people respond better to a very polished look about the landing page...once again split tests back this up.

I'm a newbie at this, but here's my feedback of the first page:
- Lose the pink text. It distracts, but not in a good way, especially when you have sentences with both bold text and pink.
-The top headline is too small, and again, the pink does not stand out.
- Christina looks like a Barbie doll already. I have no sympathy for her.
- I agree with copyassassin re your audience. If I'm 30, I don't want to be reminded of 21- as a woman, it is way easier to lose weight at 21 than 30. A woman who is 30 may be a new mom, may be about to marry, those are generally the concerns. And from experience, losing after a baby is not easy for lots of reasons.
-The text in the blue box is too small.
-The diagram is a good idea, but personally, the fact that its handwritten makes it harder to read. Something computer generated, with the same info, would be more readable.

Hope this helps!