Critique my copywrite please

Interesting product but lousy pitch. BTW - it's "copywriting" NOT "copywrite" or "copyright service".

Starting your pitch with this line is a distinct turnoff - "ARE YOU TIRED OF ALL THE ONLINE ELECTRIC SUPERCHARGER SCAMS?"

Initially I was confused to what exactly you were selling - a manual or the supercharger itself.

The video is not doing you any favors.

Pity because it looks like you know what you're doing.

Best thing you can do is beg/borrow/steal the funds for a decent copywriter and a decent graphic designer. This site doesn't cut it.

"Affordable copywriting service"? Thats not what you want. Pay peanuts and you'll get monkeys. The best investment you can make in your business at this stage is on copywriting/design/marketing that will move product out the door.

Neat page my friend. Is there a capture page that leads me to this page? If not I would create a capture page to keep in touch with your prospects.

I would split test with you making a video and putting it at the top of the page. In the video you can create rapport and a connection with your prospect. Just say what you have written down on your page.

I know it can be a dawnting task to be in front of the camera for some, but I think you would be good at it.

You've gotten a comment that this is a "neat page." That's nice but it's not nearly neat enough to sell much. I understand you're on a budget but you can get a decent mini site done on this forum for as little as $25. That would give you a nice themed template and your overall presentation would be far better.

You're copy isn't bad though it needs considerable work. For example, I'm aware of the plans for a supercharger product that's been spammed all over the planet in the past six months or so.

I'm assuming that's what you're referring to when using the word scam. Develop that a little without naming the competitor. Since you're in the same market as the scam operators you're going to have to show how you're different. People will be skeptical and will expect your to prove your claims. That's one thing your copy is missing. You'd also do well to get someone to edit and proofread it. Good luck.

As stated, it seems you know what you are doing as far as the product goes. That's a good thing. And you are on a good track in trying to speak authentically to readers.

However, the home page needs some work. It wasn't until I went to the FAQ that I understood what you are selling. Good info there. Many of the points should be part of the main sales letter.

1) Your copy needs to be more clear about what you are selling.

2) You need to rework your emotional angle. The letter assumes the reader is aware of scams and is motivated by fear of those scams. Is that true? Is that really a concern of theirs? Is that fear the main driving force encouraging your buyers to search for this type of information? Probably not.

I bet your readers are motivated by gains in performance, satisfaction of DIY, getting even with greedy oil barons by increasing performance and decreasing fuel waste, or some other driving force.

A fear of online electric supercharger scams is probably not their motivation. Change the desire to match the most common fears and concerns and desires of your readers.

3) Since you have a single product to sell, this probably could be sold much better from a simpler setup. Use a mini-site design instead. Stick with a landing page and no other pages aside from TOS, contact page. So basically your site would consist of your initial landing/squeeze page, main sales letter and possibly an OTO, upsell, downsell, then your TOS/legal page, and contact page. An About page is nice option too. If you are using the services of a 3rd-party payment provider you may need additional pages as mandated by the payment processor.

4) Your page lacks proof.

5) Eliminate "we." Rework the copy to address the reader, not yourself. Focus on the benefits your product brings.

6) You need a stronger offer. This is not an irresistible offer that is so attractive only a lunatic would reject the offer:

7) 'Best' is subjective. You need to be more specific. Specificity sells.

8) There's no guarantee, no risk reversal.

9) Where's your social proof or demonstration proof? The video does not tell a story. Nor does it prove anything to those of us who know nothing about superchargers.

i am doing this business of copywrite,you can contact me via Pm...

Was going to read it but the headline was too off-putting.

Don't use the three questions formula until after your headline! Make one with a powerful benefit, and then you can get into hitting those pain points.