Sex doesn't sell: tell me why my dating copy sucks

14 years ago

Nothing you do seems wrong but it doesn't seem right ... I guessed maybe because I am a woman. The sales copy seems long like you said. any way what kind of critics you want to see?

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copyassassin

14 years ago

Originally Posted by MADEXMEN

This is my first (published) attempt at a sales letter for a male dating advice ebook. Fair warning: it's pretty long, but that's what seems to work in this niche.

All right people, do your worst:

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty By Mark Manson

MADEXMEN,

I think the copy is pretty good in general.

No BS.

However, you can improve it.

Here's how:

Put a caption under the pic. Like "You too can bed her".
The testimonals suck. You need more power behind them. Like, "After reading your book, and implimenting Method "Zebra drinks Coffee", I got with hottie. Or maybe, "I'm a divorced guy who hasn't been in the game for years. The last time I was hooking up with girls was during college, 20 years ago. This guide was like time travel. It brought me to the present. Just yesturday I slept with a "7", which is pretty for me. The ex is like a "-12", lol'
You really need to differentiate yourself. Or go one level niche lower. Like "You May have lost in divorce court, but after reading this quick and easy guide, you too will be winning were it really counts...In BED with hotties"
In same vein, what makes YOUR methods better than "double your dating" or whatever
Also, maybe "ultra hot" is too much of claim, even if its true.
Maybe take pics of hotties with their faces blurred out of hotties you've banged as a credibility took.

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Simon Ashari

14 years ago

Just look at your headline.

How you can attract (and sleep with) ultra hot women, while being completely honest and without faking who you are"

The bolding was mine. If a guy is looking on the internet for dating advice (or to buy a product)... he doesn't think he is good enough for these women. His self esteem is low.

So telling him that he can be honest and not fake anything is going to tell him that:

1) this is a scam

2) this is going to be hard work

Just my 2 cents. Good luck with your business.

-Simon

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rjweaver10

14 years ago

This is one REALLY long copy, but I think it reads fairly well!

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NickN

14 years ago

Two quick things, while I have a sec...

1. Remove the period from your headline. Periods halt the momentum of what you're saying.

2. Prices for internet products ending in "7" generally sell more, for whatever reason.

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ewenmack 14 years ago

Mark, if lack of sales are making you unhappy,
then it's back to basics of marketing.

You must have all 3 in place,
not one, or two, but all 3.

They are you have

1 identified a starving crowd

2 you have a message that they want to hear

3 you have the right media to reach them

It's about getting better at all 3,
and continually improving in those areas.

Since this a copywriting forum,
these 3 essentials for success seldom get a mention.

Best,
Ewen
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MADEXMEN

14 years ago

@successproducts

I agree that it doesn't really make a whole lot of errors, it's more about what it doesn't do. Doesn't have a whole lot of emotional punch or intrigue. I'm still working on developing that in my copy. As for what critiques? Whatever you think is most relevant/I need to work on next.

@copyassassin

Thanks for the confidence boost. I expected honesty from this forum, so I'm pleased to see I'm doing ok for a newbie. Will definitely take your advice about the caption and 'ultra hot'. The headline was the one thing I didn't write, and I'm not a huge fan of it.
As for the testimonials, I might come off a bit naive here, but is it standard practice to invent testimonials? Because the ones used are legit.

@Simon

Yeah like I just told Copyassassin, I didn't write the headline and I'm not a fan of it. Testing alternate headlines is top of my to do list and will do later this week. Thanks for the kind wishes and same to you.

@RJ

Thanks!

@Nick

Cool I will definitely remove that period. It's minor things like that I would never have picked up on alone. Not sure if I can get the price changed, but I'll discuss it with the site owner. Thanks.

Thanks

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aroth

14 years ago

I'm an affiliate in the dating niche one of my favorite sub-niches in it is the "how to get girls sub-niche." The salespage isn't going to convert for a number of reasons.

1) This market sees salesletters just like this on every website they go too lol. Media buyers coupled with retargeting have bombarded this market too death. So, you have to be selling some different. You need to niche down further. Your message is too board. You need some point of difference to make you stand out in all the noise. right now you look like everybody else, and to make matters worse "everybody else" that is mass targeting this niche with success is using video salesletters. Written copy works in narrow sub-niches of this niche but mass market without a vsl your going to get killed!

2) Your salesletter is "technically-sound" but it's not emotionally compelling. This market responds great to "emotion-based" headlines and copy. Open with questions or the word "imagine." They don't want to "attract" women. They want to be grab every women's attention when they step in a room. They want woman begging to be with them. They want to the "desired" for once in their lives. Your salesletter doesn't push that emotional hot button hardly at all. And, that's your bazooka in this niche.

I agree with ewen, you need to start over and niche down a little deeper and crave out your own space in this massive golden nugget of a market.

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RickDuris

14 years ago

Originally Posted by aroth

I'm an affiliate in the dating niche one of my favorite sub-niches in it is the "how to get girls sub-niche." The salespage isn't going to convert for a number of reasons.

1) This market sees salesletters just like this on every website they go too lol. Media buyers coupled with retargeting have bombarded this market too death. So, you have to be selling some different. You need to niche down further. Your message is too board. You need some point of difference to make you stand out in all the noise. right now you look like everybody else, and to make matters worse "everybody else" that is mass targeting this niche with success is using video salesletters. Written copy works in narrow sub-niches of this niche but mass market without a vsl your going to get killed!

2) Your salesletter is "technically-sound" but it's not emotionally compelling. This market responds great to "emotion-based" headlines and copy. Open with questions or the word "imagine." They don't want to "attract" women. They want to be grab every women's attention when they step in a room. They want woman begging to be with them. They want to the "desired" for once in their lives. Your salesletter doesn't push that emotional hot button hardly at all. And, that's your bazooka in this niche.

I agree with ewen, you need to start over and niche down a little deeper and crave out your own space in this massive golden nugget of a market.

In other words, be honest. Did your grandpa write this letter?

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ASCW

14 years ago

I didn't go all the way through it, but I'm curious.

Have you tested this?

(Also I dislike the bright red background - hurt my eyes - maybe a dark red or grey would be better.)
-Andy

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MADEXMEN

14 years ago

Thanks Aroth that's great advice, and I'll definitely take that on board. Do you think a VSL of the same letter (but edited for conciseness) would do much better? I've written the script for it but am undecided on whether to record and test it.

ASCW, I'm currently testing it. The time on page is pretty decent, though I'd like to see if this improves with different headlines.

Red is a pretty popular colour in the dating niche, but I agree it's very bold. I think making it darker would be a good option.

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angiecolee

14 years ago

Personally I see two different things in there - pick up artist schtick and get-the-girl-of-your-dreams wishful thinking.

I've seen the pick up artist crap done to death. And lord knows, I can smell it from a mile away when some dude tries it on me. You know how many guys try lines like "you like milk with ice?" on a dating site thinking they're original?

If these guys buy what you're selling, they'll follow it to the letter. ALL of them. Take it from one chick's experience.

At any rate, the guys may disagree with me but I think that's two markets. Guys who want to attract the right girl, and guys who want to bed Ms. Right Now. Who do you want more? The romantics or the wannabe playboys?

And if you want the wannabe playboys, you HAVE to do something different. This sales letter reads like every other one out there, frankly. Talk to Nick - he just wrote a winning sales letter for a dating product similar to what you've got.

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NickN

14 years ago

Originally Posted by angiecolee

Personally I see two different things in there - pick up artist schtick and get-the-girl-of-your-dreams wishful thinking.

What's interesting is some of the sales letters in that contest -- including the control and the winner -- played up both angles. (I went more of the "player" route, because I felt that's what the book was really about.) So it seems you can have it both ways, if you play it right. But it's difficult to pull off.

The biggest difference between the OP's sales letter and the one I wrote is the proof element. Paul Janka's status played a big part in my letter, so some of the work was already done for me.

I think the bullets in the OP's letter could be more specific. And I'm a big proponent of inserting the page number of where you can find the material you talk about in your bullet.

So say, "The single most attractive trait a woman wants in a man (and no it's not money, good looks or anything else you might have immediately thought of) (pg #)"

And like someone else said, a call-to-action placed earlier in the letter would probably help, since the product doesn't cost much.

Also, try making a simple video sales letter and putting it at the top of the page. It might hold a prospect's interest longer than mere text.

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angiecolee

14 years ago

Originally Posted by NickN

What's interesting is some of the sales letters in that contest -- including the control and the winner -- played up both angles. (I went more of the "player" route, because I felt that's what the book was really about.) So it seems you can have it both ways, if you play it right. But it's difficult to pull off.

I agree. I just don't see it happening here. I see it angled toward the players with the occasional bullet about something meaningful and lasting thrown in for the romantics. Granted, I'm not the target market, but it seemed more cloudy than something for everyone.

Proof is definitely big, in this letter and with women LOL. We're all skeptics.

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The Copy Warriors

14 years ago

I'm familiar with this niche and the sales copy within it.

First off, your writing style is very good. I like it quite a bit, it's a pleasure to read.

But, I think your results are going to be hurt by two things here:

1. Too many dating niche cliches. Everybody who's bought a billion dating advice books and gotten nowhere with them will have heard "former video game nerd" before. They'll roll their eyes and think "not this again" and go from being a potential sale to not wanting to touch this with a ten foot pole. This kind of stuff is really tired and it makes what's generally a pretty good sales page look cheesy in some places.

2. Too many sales copy cliches. Everybody who's bought any info product online has heard "it’s going to seem so simple and obvious once you know it, you’re going to be wondering what the hell you’ve been doing for all of these years" before. It's a good sentiment, of course, but you should find a way to express it that doesn't make you sound like you ripped it directly out of a swipe file.

Otherwise, this is pretty good. Multiple order buttons would improve conversions for this by the way, you don't want that buy button buried right at the end of what looks to be a 6,000 word sales page. A $15 price tag isn't going to scare anybody away, and a lot of people will be sold on this well before reaching the end of the letter.

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monicacc1

14 years ago

ohh, although the style of your website is my favourite, but i don't like the things so much, have gotten more specials for me to choose?

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Loren Woirhaye

14 years ago

Set off the "BS alarm" as soon as I glanced at the headline.

Cliche, and dumb.

Sorry. Get smarter.

Put another way: bad headline appeal.

If you don't know what an appeal is, read Robert Collier's
book. Twice.

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CurtisSWN

14 years ago

If you ever go on seduction forums, you'll find the typical male querent is a raging bag of insecurity, doubt and insensitivity. Somehow they think that screwing pretty young things make them a man. Maybe so, maybe not. I also think they also want to follow the alpha male, so maybe pretending to be that alpha male will garner more following. Just my observation.

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WhoElseWantsTheTruth

14 years ago

OK, the simple fact is that long sales letters are dead on the Web, especially for the dating niche. Your main competitor in the dating niche uses a video sales "letter."

Nobody believes "looks don't matter" anymore. Well, women may believe it, feminists may believe it, Hollywood may believe it -- but they're not your target market, are they?

Ugly male nerds are your target market, and nerds smarten up very fast.

You may have succeeded during the first days of the PUA / seduction niche, when ugly nerds were thrilled with the possibility of banging super-hot models.

But they've gotten much smarter. If they're going to believe you at all, they're definitely going to want more proof than stock photos of attractive women and a bunch of dubious testimonials.

Nothing short of a video that borders on pornography is going to convince them that ugly guys can pull consistently. As you can see in my avatar, I'm an extremely good-looking guy, otherwise I'd be up for helping you make your case by doing a video recording of me from approach to F-close.

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Irish Intuition 14 years ago

The page is 'dated' looking, and boring. I'm single and would love to
bang 'ultra hot babes', but your headline already seemed ridicules.

I would have normally clicked off... then I started on the bullet
points which pretty much was a generic "no matter how fugly,
stupid or uninteresting you are- YOU WILL GET SUPERMODELS!"

Your competition is FIERCE in this market. If I were you I would
look to another niche to get rich.
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WhoElseWantsTheTruth

14 years ago

Lest anyone think I don't have a creative bone in my body, I'm going to coin "get bitch overnight" to describe this saturated market in which marketers don't even really believe the "looks don't matter" crap they're peddling.

I think I've seen the same blondes and brunettes in a shit-ton of these letters now. Either these gorgeous babes have been around the ugly-nerd block a few times or y'all trying to seduce my wallet.

And don't forget that ugly nerds know how to use TinEye or reverse-image search on Google Images.

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ewenmack 14 years ago

I asked a buddy of mine about the market for this yesterday.

He's in behind the scenes copywriter in this market.

I asked him if the market has got cynical and "heard it all before"?

He said to some extent it has, but you need to always be coming up with new angles
for this market.

There's plenty of buyers still in the market.

It's just like the bigger weight loss industry.
People aren't buying what they bought a few years ago.
They are buying what's new and different.

If people are stuck in this area and want a better understanding
on market movements, and how to stay one step of ahead them,
then Breakthrough Advertising is the book for you.

Best,
Ewen
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- KingofCopy 14 years ago
  
  A couple things I noticed as someone who has been a marketer and buyer in this niche.
  
  The sales page looks like it was copy/paste into a template. It's a good sales template, but I've seen a million other products use this. The problem is that after you see 50 different people using something similar it's immediately SSDD in the buyer's subconscious, and that is a bad thing. This could be forgiven if you had a video pitching your sales copy and this page is only seen by people who try to leave the webpage because they don't want to sit through your video. You should have such a video and send them here after they try to leave. Anyone who stays after trying to leave wants to skim your copy for the part of the pitch they are most interested in, so you're already halfway to a sale.
  
  Get rid of everything related to just being yourself. Yes, this can work with women, but if I'm willing to pay money to dirt on ripping women's clothes off I don't want to be told to do the same thing that isn't working. You have to present something different than what isn't working for me, then convince me it's better than what I'm doing now.
  
  You definitely need some text under that first picture related to your product. When was the last time you banged a chick like this or words to that effect.
  
  This is a lot of copy for a $15 product. I've seen shorter pitches for products that sell for $247 and $297. It feels like you're trying to hard. This is trying to sell me something rather than showing me something I have to have.
  
  Too many "this is the one ebook to rule them all" cliches throughout the copy. When you hype it up that much and only charge $15 it makes me say bullshit. If it was that good I would expect to pay at least $97, and probably $197 or more
  
  Most importantly, as a former buyer in this market I would ask myself what I would get this product I wouldn't get from a bigger, established name in the genre like Carlos Xuma or David Shade. It feels like a cheap imitation of a more expensive, and thus perceived, more effective product.
  
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Thomas Michal

14 years ago

I use to work for a singles club a longgggg time ago and I can tell you this-

people don't need supermodels, they want a best friend, someone to share life's special moments with.

Love is friendship set on fire. That's what they want.

15 - 25 yr olds want hot chicks/strippers and one night stands.

As you get older you realize those dumb hot women dont compete with some you are attracted to because of shared interests.

I also feel like you are selling more of the "process" of getting women not the "solution".

Sell me on the life I'll have after using your product and how great it will be.

Also, I think there is a lot of unnecessary copy (about yourself) you could shorten and eliminate.

You should read Joe Sugarmans book - The Adweek Copywriting Handbook: The Ultimate Guide to Writing Powerful Advertising and Marketing Copy from One of America's Top Copywriters.

Then edit you page.

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Steve The Copywriter 14 years ago

I agree with all the comments.

It's a saturated market - but for many - who get the emotional triggers "right" - a very profitable one.

But you're (more or less) saying what everybody else is.

Most people who bought and tried this stuff failed.

Or they wouldn't need to buy any more guides.

As Ewen said you need a "new" mechanism or angle.

Something your market hasn't heard before (it's going to be difficult - as most "angles" have been used - so find the best "new"ones - enhance them making them much better).

I've never worked in this market - I'm guessing you either aim for the "players" or people who want "relationships" (at the moment your copy is aiming at both markets - it's trying to be all things to all people).

I would forget about the "players" niche - it's been done so many times. And for many who've tried it - I'm assuming it's crashed and burned. No surprise - its way too sleazy for the majority of people.

So, aim for the "market" who want -

A new and easy way to attract "real" woman.

They don't believe they'll ever score with super models or smoking hot girls.

And forget about one night stands - it's shallow and bit shady.

Again most people want relationships (yes, with lots of sex - ideally with their ladies asking them - so tell them how that is done).

Your biggest competitor - a 24 million dollar business - does so well because they keep everything "non sleazy"

By all means add a dash of spice, adventure and fun - but keep it real.

Giving the best, new most workable "techniques" that people can "feel" will work for them.

Steve
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davemiz

14 years ago

general overview after glancing over it.... and you've already gotten a ton of really good feedback...
not talking about the product... i'm assuming its good.

as far as the copy...

its too long...

too generic....

no emotional connection ...

no strong hook...

weak offer...

From reading the copy, i don't think you really understand what your audience REALLY wants yet and can say it in the copy (was in the same boat for a long time) survey the hell out of your list to find out the REAL info.

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bigrayban

14 years ago

seems fishy,dont mean to offend ,just my opinion..

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HRedmond 14 years ago

I think that the first question that sprang to my mind upon reading it was, "What frat boy wanna be pick up artist is really going to read all of this?"

Granted, I am not a frat boy pick up artist wanna be. I'm just the kind of girl they usually attempt to pick up.

If you're marketing to dorks who just can't get women: none of them is going to buy your claims. Not one.

The biggest flaw I can find in this, apart from it being about five miles too long is the fact that you've mixed up your niches. You won't hold the pick up artists attention because you emotionalize things and you won't hold the dork's attention because you make unrealistic claims co-mingled with pick up artist appeals.

As the ah, presumed "end result" of your pitch here, I can tell you that your best bet is to take this angle:

I call it Models: Attract Women Through Honesty because it teaches guys how to be honest about who they are and what they want with both women and themselves, and because I wanted to be as honest as I could be about what I learned and what is possible for you.

And build on it. It's the most realistic advice on the page, it is not littered with hyperbole and it's straight to the point. From a writer's point of view, I am looking at heaps of run on sentences, cliches, nothing overly compelling and a strong need to get to the point.
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BrianMcLeod

14 years ago

That swiped photo of Victoria Justice isn't going to help this letter, but might make it a whole lot more expensive for you.

Don't nick graphics. Buy a stock photo for a couple of dollars.

Brian

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Don Grace

14 years ago

A big no no is using that bright red background. Stick with white.

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davemiz

14 years ago

lol... Don.... thats such BS.... where are you getting this nonsense from?

you gotta test.

Red can work.... a buddy of mine does high 6 -7 figures a month (in this same niche) and his site is...... RED.

and yes, he tested it.

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Thomas Michal

14 years ago

Originally Posted by davemiz

lol... Don.... thats such BS.... where are you getting this nonsense from?

you gotta test.

Red can work.... a buddy of mine does high 6 -7 figures a month (in this same niche) and his site is...... RED.

and yes, he tested it.

Site reference please.

I too agree THAT red bg is off putting.

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Don Grace

14 years ago

I get my nonsense from testing, and loads of experience. There always is an exception, but what I've found is red as a bg hurts and distracts the the eyes. It is often associated with stop or "beware".

Now, this ain't my niche so you got me there, and it could very well be that exception. Just saying you don't see it often in other niches.

Are you referring to Eben as your buddy? He does a great job at using red in his dating niche. Not over done, and not all over the bg.

That test, JUST the bg color, no other variables? More power to him.

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davemiz

14 years ago

@ thomas.... offputting and converting are 2 totally different things my friend.

we are in the business of direct response... which means you test... and use what converts, not what we think or assume.

fyi here's the site:
Pandora's Box: Vin DiCarlo's Official Site

site was doing *7 figures a month*.

@ Don.... not eben.... his stuff is fairly plain and simple...

with the testing, you never know dude.... you gotta test all kinds of crazy stuff.... look at this background on my friends site:

Magnetic Messaging: The Official Site |

i can't look at it with that background... but guess what? IT CONVERTS.

he's tested it.... and yes... that "crazy ugly on the eyes" background did better than plain jane.

go figure.

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wackiin

14 years ago

well the chick in the top pic is hot........ well n/m sorry got distracted :O
Id cut that sales page to about a third of what you got anything sex sales

Just give um what they want dont make um read a book to sell it to them

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Don Grace

14 years ago

WOW Dave I'm fricken shocked! I can't look at that for more than 3 seconds! I do like that script that says 12,204 viewing or whatever... nice social proof... hell I want that script!

Copy looks solid, at least the 30 seconds I could stand to watch...

For madexmen... I have a feeling the whole honesty play might need to be pulled. If you're targeting dudes that want to get laid, they don't care about that and I bet feel they need some sort of a "trick" or "sneaky edge"... because nice honest guys finish last... at least in their minds.

Again, this isn't my market, but many moons ago before I became a copywriter I was one of the best night club bartenders in Southern California. I've seen guys do the stupidest crap you could ever imagine, and I can't tell you how many gals every night would ask me to "pretend" to be their boyfriend to get those dumbasses to leave them alone.

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Sam Woods

14 years ago

I think you may get around the problem of the red by changing the color of the header text (the red ones) slightly, or the background. I feel they are too similar which may be the reason for headaches?
But on the other hand, if its converting.....

@davemiz - Does that site have the same color background as headers?
Failing that it might just be that particular red?

That background just hurts my eyes though!!

Also when looking down the page, it seems a bit full on, with loads of text. This may cut your conversions.
Would this be better broken up a little more? Especially those bullet points!
Apart from that I think the content is good, maybe a few tweaks like where it says;
"In fact what your going to learn:",
would be more effective on a separate line and bigger?
And something like "These are the techniques you will discover;".

Just my opinion.

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TheSalesBooster

14 years ago

I skimmed through the thread and I don't think this was even brought up yet... but where the hell is your proof? Where are the pictures of all these hot girls you are getting? Having a ton of pictures with hot chicks would skyrocket the confidence in your buyers immediately. All I see on that page is text. The same text every other dating advice guru out there has already said 20x before. SHOW ME WHAT YOUR TRYING TO SELL ME WORKS. I WANT PROOF. I want to see the picture of the person behind this product. I want to see what he looks like and if he really is banging hot chicks. Otherwise its BS.

That's what most people think when they see these sales letters. So proof and testimonials are your biggest selling advantages here. And you have neither.

and having a picture of a celebrity on your page? Instant BS alarm alert.

Thanks

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teamline

14 years ago

Oh, I am not an expert, just wanna tell what I see and feel...

Headline should not have same color as backgrond. As it is now,
headline doesn´t STICK OUT enough!

I don´t like the headline, try to make it more STICKY, shorter sentence.
Do not repeat sentence ( now you have same words in headline as in subhead )
Try to get SHORT and STICKY head/ sub lines. Diffrent Color, try to underline
hot words ( make them stand out )

Girl on photo is too sweet, too natural...she doesn´t represent a typical
"model" or "stripper" as you mentioned in your headlines!
Change photo or delete words as model/ stripper.

I like this sentence in your description, this could be a good sticky headline.
"Discover secrets that single men everywhere would give their right arm for, if they only knew they existed"

Try to shorten your salesletter, maybe you can offer them some free info if they subscribe to an autoresponder?

Sometimes "less is more" (-;

( english is not my native language, so I am sorry if for eventual grammatical and misspells.

Good Luck

Thanks
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teamline

14 years ago

Here is some more comments from me:

"What Do You Know About Any Of This?"
I don´t like this. Try to talk to "them" instead. Not in third person or likely..
Now you have head/sublines. After that "Hi there, I'm Mark and with five ....."
Next after some paragraphes, again "My name is Mark Manson, I'm 28 years old, and...
Try to rewrite this all to your personal STORY in presence. Maybe in cursive text ( so it stands out like a letter )

Here is strong buyer words ( at least what I think )
"Discover secrets that single men everywhere would give their right arm for, if they only knew they existed"
"Models Is The Only Book On Dating You Ever Need To Buy"

(-:

Thanks
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tylerjaysen

14 years ago

Not bad copy or layout....but not really very good or compelling either.

I'm sure that you know who David Deangelo is..if you're in this niche. He started the double your dating ebook that still to this day generates millions a year.

If you don't know who that is....then you need to learn from him.

David D...AKA Eban Peagan....has sold over $100 million worth of info products and has got it down to a science.

When I see David D's copy selling his DYD ebook...he takes the stand of...you just gotta change your wussy behavior ...and be more like a man...not a girly man....and be cocky and funny with women.

In other words, all the stuff you learned from your mom...to be a nice guy....well that stuff is good and all...but will not get you laid.

Women say they want a nice guy,....until they get one and marry one....and then they realize there is zero chemistry anymore...and no attraction...and no sex...and then it's divorce court time.

With the cocky funny attitude...you keep the tension going....the sexual tension...so as to create attraction with women.

Anyway, you need to revamp your copy to speak to the nice guy ...wussy types....the ones who suck at talking to women...

....because those are the guys that need your help and are the ones who will buy your book.

Thanks
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teamline

14 years ago

Originally Posted by tylerjaysen

Not bad copy or layout....but not really very good or compelling either.

I'm sure that you know who David Deangelo is..if you're in this niche. He started the double your dating ebook that still to this day generates millions a year.

If you don't know who that is....then you need to learn from him.

David D...AKA Eban Peagan....has sold over $100 million worth of info products and has got it down to a science.

When I see David D's copy selling his DYD ebook...he takes the stand of...you just gotta change your wussy behavior ...and be more like a man...not a girly man....and be cocky and funny with women.

In other words, all the stuff you learned from your mom...to be a nice guy....well that stuff is good and all...but will not get you laid.

Women say they want a nice guy,....until they get one and marry one....and then they realize there is zero chemistry anymore...and no attraction...and no sex...and then it's divorce court time.

With the cocky funny attitude...you keep the tension going....the sexual tension...so as to create attraction with women.

Anyway, you need to revamp your copy to speak to the nice guy ...wussy types....the ones who suck at talking to women...

....because those are the guys that need your help and are the ones who will buy your book.

I do not think this is meant to be a rewritten or rewamp of David Deangelos. Or meant to be as one.
I am a woman, and have read a lot of reviews and what women talking about David Deangelos technique. If you think that is what women really want from a man, you will never get the women of your heart (-:

Self esteem is of course no 1 whatever you are in love or business. Learning only seduction technique, are not giving you the charisma that for sure.

Well I have not read your book, maybe or hopefully it is not a repeat of the wheel (-:

If not, and I assume you have read a lot of your compititors?! You can always put out some sticky that you have and that they do not have..
This is a huge nich, and you can get a lot of buyers if you can stick out! Many guys is buying not only one book, they buy every book, if it reveals something new for them.

So your salesletter have to be sticky. Remember, they do not care of you, they wanna know what you will give them! Now a days no one have time to read 10 000 words salesletter. Maybe for 10 years ago. Today, everything written have to be so short.

Hey, even if you sell anything for $100 000, you do not need a 10 000 words of salesletters.

Here we are talking about $50. What do you get for $50 if you spend a saturday out?

So, I think anyone can agree that $50 is not much for a real advice. If that advice will get your most problem resolved. Or at least you learn something new.

I am so 100% sure that if you have only a squeeze page with 3 sticky centense, free report with an auto responder, will give you more buyers than a long salesletter.

Thanks

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Sex doesn't sell: tell me why my dating copy sucks

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